My Sister likes to tell me that everything is about numbers.
That if the numbers ain’t in your favour to get the fuck outta dodge or kick some ass..She usually pulls this theory out when that big gnarley vein in the center of my forehead is doing its best Vinne Paul impersonation…I believe in choosing my battles,really I do, but some peoples kids……She has been on damage patrol all the way from NZ.And my long suffering mother is sick of the bad language and hate manifestos that I am been speweing down the line to her.All bridges are on fire…hehhehhheh! File THAT under give a fuck!! Now MY pet theory of the week is that we must be doing something right to piss off so many!
Gotta admit ,I do get around to feeling sorry for my band on a pretty regular basis. I find it hard to put up with myself at the best of times so they have it pretty rough…I am still trying to duck out on recording most of the time…Ash and I were toe to toe on the phone again today..He got me to the “Ok! I’ll do it! Jesus! You Are one..” and the motherfucker hung up on me! So I called back..”Hello?” “Never” I snarled “Hang up on me!” and then I slammed the phone down.The height of emotional maturity we are NOT.
The look on Ash and Mikeys faces when they came to pick Me up for the show on Friday was pretty priceless. Let me fill you in on yet another band dynamic,one that very few are aware of…In their spare time my boys are Martin Luther King, Ghandi and Jesus H Christ. They are the most spiritually alined zenfuckers in rock and roll. Which make me a cross between Tyler Durdin and Attila the Hun.. They rise above and turn the other cheek. Where as ,on said night,I cruise out to the bus with a song in my heart [snort!] a smile on my face and an axe handle slug over my shoulder.There was one thing that I dug about my swiftly aborted catholic education and that was “An eye for an eye” I dont bring this argument up with the band cause they start in on all the lightweight commandments…I digress…I dont like space monkeys fucking with me and mine.
“Oh no you don’t Michele! I will not be tarred with the same brush as you! You cant go around knee capping eveyone who pisses you off..” Ashley.
“Why?” – Me.
“I dont believe this…” – Mikey.
“How the hell did I end up in a band with a bunch of hippies!”- Me.
“He is not worth it”- Rossco.
“Yes he fucking is!!”-Me.
So, if you can belive this I didnt do it!. Band:1 Me:0. The powers of good yadda,yadda,yadda..[“Michele,you must fight me,I am your Father!,Come to the darkside”]..I was so pissed about it all and the party in question will never know how close they came to limping their way into the new year…it is hard for Me to admit this on so many levels but my band do a stunning job of handling my bullshit temper and keeping me out of jail.Its just that everytime I have got round to turning the other cheek I have had it smacked in.I figure that I have taken enough licks…
Before I take off and see that man about a dog once more I wanna thank all that made the show on Friday a pure fucking joy.You Sikfuks are the SS Minnow in My ocean of shit.
More later.
Watch out Melbourne! We are comming for you!
Michele.
