Crazy,well thats how its goes.

-Ozzy Osbourne.

I’ve come full circle.

The 1st kiss I can ever remember wanting to die for I got on April 9th 1991.I was wearing a black dress and he was wearing a green velvet smoking jacket.

I dont think that he really liked me but he knew that I liked him and thought that he would bestow some of his skate assed hotness on the ugly chick with braces.I was drunk off my ass and glowing with misaligned teen aged longing.

Well,He inspired me to learn to play the guitar so I guess thats somthing.
Years later he fucked my best friend,an anorexic nut job canadian girl who was more trouble than the middle east and I stood under their window in the rain the night he left with my guitar and sang.

Windows opened as I gave it what for with The Boys next door and some other shit that I am too mortified to document, but not theirs.People listened as my heart tore in two.What a headcase eh? A useless romantic

I saw his shadow against the blinds and he turned out the light.I cried all the way home.


To this day ,in my quieter moments I hope that he has a terrible cock maiming moment.Preferably in public.

April 9 is Jenna Jameson’s birthday.Hmmmmm.
-The end-

This is the crap that is clogging up my fucking head! WHYYYYYYY!!!!!
I cant write ,I just knock around in my memory, eat cheese and beat off.That is not a real strong master plan.

Now the kiss that I die for every fucking day lives 3 hours away and makes me purr like a fucking V8.


Its all gonna change.I need to make the next grade.Pain brings visions.i need to get it where I can as building a Souix indian smoke house in a Newtown back yard is not an option.

Cant sleep cant sleep.
Cant afford my life.
The fucking cat is attacking me as I write this and I am in despair.I dont know why.I know all the things that I could do to combat it but I feel like I have an engine block of grief lodged on my sternum.

It rained tonite and all my lanky joints decided to throw a pain party.Saint Tina informs me that Jr is home safe from Vegas and that he had a ball.I am roadtripping down to see her this week as I have to start packing shit up once again.I also need to get into all my archives to see what drops of poison are waiting to be distilled.Knowing that their time would be up real soon.

[Picture me blowing dust of ancient tomes held up to pursed reverent lips in a shard of dim light or kicking the shit out of a grey filing cabinet covered in stickers and loaded with moldy hello kitty note books…up to you….]

So I am gonna leave a few winter things out to tide me over and starve myself into the Budweiser bikini that ross will always look so much fitter in than I.

I keep having to throw the cat on the floor.I went to take a leak today and the little fuck sat on the keyboard and wiped out a whole email.I told Diamond Lil that I was gonna skin her and use her pelt to trim a sweater.Grrrrrr.

Its a test.
Its ment to get as horrible as possible and I am ment to keep some kind of steely reserve thing going.I just read the new “Uprooted” which is as always brilliant and I too want to stab.I want to stab the whole fucking world.
Ross is a fucking god.

Did some cool radio shit over the last week.Always fun when the questions are good.The chick thing comes up every time.Ho hum.

I thought that this was gonna be good but as I am now having a brain fart and know that it sux I am outta here.

My band mail account is possessed so its not that I dont care Its that I aint receiving.
Gonna get it sorted.