Sailor.

You know its a good day to be on friendly terms with oxygen intake when someone that you feel is rather dashing in an Errol Flynn type fashion informs you that they will dream of you naked in a giant martini glass full of bubble bath.

Picture me with a grin that looks like it should have a feather stuck to the corner of my bottom lip…..

I have not courted nor attracted attention in so long that I am spasmodically and fretfully flattered. I have forgotten how to conduct myself in such situations to tell you the truth. I am only ever viewed as a buddy anyway so I should keep my irregular heartbeat down to a dull roar.

But jeepers it feels so sweet.

I have got no edit button,firewall or grace. This is it sailor.

Kindness should never be undervalued or overlooked .It is far to rare a commodity. Hens teeth and rocking horse shit capishe?

Personally? I am like a kid waiting for Santa to wrangle his big fat red butt down the chimney. I am utterly charmed and happy that I have finally said yes to leaving the house and breaking bread with a fine boned specimen that happens to be very easy on the eye and sharp as a tack.

Let the good times roll.

Lets be honest here,I wrote myself off. Let it all slide. Disappeared behind a wall of fat and a shitload of really good lyrics where as my ex got himself a heroin addicted  hooker and an altercation with the LAPD. I can lose the weight but something tells me that Price Charming is gonna be stuck with his whore for a long ass time.

And maybe,just maybe that ain’t my problem no more.

He had the gall to tell me that it would break his heart if I ever found anyone new while meanwhile he was throwing his fuck into a cunt with a head like a foot.She looks like something out of Picasso’s blue period by way of a real nasty acid trip.

Lord Elvis I am still a mess. Still can’t fuck and I hyperventilate at the thought of holding hands.

But there are good people out there and for that I am grateful.

Miss Emma,the petite minx,set me up for this one.( “He’s funny and cool! He is six foot six! Don’t be a mensch!)  He directed her in a short film. Its nice. Its nice talking to someone who thinks that me being a writer is as sexy as my high stepping ass.  Its nice not getting yelled at for using five dollar words. Who gets my “Cool hand Luke” references.

(“Nobody can eat fifty eggs”…)

Who likes me. Think that I have found a friend even if I am a romantic retard.

Gotta tell y’all,house hunting is a pain in the bahakas but after coming home to blood all over the kitchen floor? Well,that would be my notice then….

One more show to play this week and then big brother lights out on tour to take his music to the masses. He is getting better by the day and it is a joy to behold. The last show was amazing. Glad that we did it and that I got to play with him every week.

Wonders will never cease.I am cleaning today but thought that I would take a break and blather on here while imbibing ginger tea. Best that I get a shake on before the retard arrives home and clogs up my living shape with the asbestos like shroud of dumb that comes with him.

Then I am gonna take a bath and shave my legs….