Sunday night bullshit.

We’re to young to reason,too grown up to dream.

-Roxy Music.

I’m in the phone box its the one across the hall.

-Blondie.

(Vale Mich Mitchell.R.I.P)

(So what is it that I want? I want you to know that I would never….Forget it.I will tell you someday when we have time you know? Until that comes around I will just keep on writing songs about you.)

I said that I would do this hours ago but I have been buzzing around high on creative energy since me and Miss Whitetiger put on “Heart’s greatest hits” and shot mad sexy photos in my shack.

Never underrate the full sensual raw rocking power of pouting nude on a white fur rug in sweet bugger all but a pair of dangerous looking gold heels that look like they just escaped the disco gulag (“Release the hounds!!!”) while “Barracuda” leaps from the speakers at a fuck worthy volume.

Brilliant.

Its great working with someone I trust this much. (“Stop pouting! Relax!!! Shut your mouth!!!Quit with the “I have never seen a cock so big!!!” eyes .!! Jesus Michele!!!!” ect ,ect..)

We have decided to come up with one stupid and solid idea a week and then go ahead and shoot it on the lords day of rest.Ahem.So if you hear of police helicopters being deployed to chase a woman in thigh high boots and a samurai sword through the backstreets of Bankstown…..

I must be flinging around some mighty potent vibes at the moment.I decided that I would aim all my foxy woman beams at the object of my disgusting desires (“Can you point,here on the doll,to where the horrible rock and roll woman touched you?”) but I think that some of them have bounced off said inamorata’s cool and nonchalant hide because I am getting some weird contact.Weird…..

A few summers ago I held a momentary somewhat spluttering and silly flame for a bass player of ill repute and major  fame.Ho-hum.We gazed longingly at each other across crowded catering tents and festivals,We sent veiled messages with other member’s of the sonic Illuminati across the planet. My brother gravely informed me that “he” had told him that he liked me while Dave Grohl beat every one to a sweating and drunk pulp at ping pong behind us in the VIP pavilion.It was giddy,charged and utterly doomed.I beat off in a porta potty while he did drugs and set hearts and knickers aflame.Then he shagged my sister.

This is my love life sports fans.This is why I stick with my crushes and Hustler collection whilst keeping my rather ample trap clamped shut.Along with my legs.

So.

While on the phone to MFR ,Gonzo editor,ninja and all around stand up guy,he tells me that on a recent sojourn to our fair land said heart-breaker was asking after me.Good for my battered ego indeed.

But I don’t date the creatures that I wanna be when I grow up.(Or who shag my sister.) My world is too small you dig? And I have always been one of the boys ( cue Rose Tattoo…….) Guess I will run into him when I get home to Long Beach.

That and a few other heads from the past popping up on my leggy horizon like lust addled Meir cats,prowling the dry perimeters of my Serangetti of smut while all the while the one I want (” I don’t WANT that guitar god daddy, I want THIS one and I want him NOW!) is cool hand Luke with a crooked smile,a mind like a steel trap and my number ( “—– cannot take your call right now leave a details message after the tone and then hang up”)

I wish I was that cool.Now when I think that I am gonna do something uncool I call Leeroy who tells me to pull my head in.( “Michele? ” “What?” “Pull your head in “.) I am prone to monster bouts of being uncool.Its like how I spend 2 hours getting ready only to say “Oh! This old thing???” when flooded with compliments.Go figure. ( FYI: Chicks do this ALL the time.If there was a secret chick league of which I would probably not have ever been invited to join anyway, I reckon they would kill me for disclosing this information…)

Is it natural to be so in love with ones bass guitar? Je adore! Oh Leeroy of Fish! How you do deliver….My trip to Canberra a few weeks ago to get ground to a fine and fragrant dust by some of rocks dirty finest was brilliant.Truth be told everything has been a bit of a let down since.It was filthy in all the right ways.Worth the bus trip brilliant.Worth the fight we almost got into outside The Greenroom brilliant.Matt Skitz still floors me after all these years and small town yokels still don’t know what to do with an amazon in a mini skirt….whatever.

Back to the Fish. I was telling him about Dee-Dee Ramone visiting me in a dream and so on when he told me that he had a bass for me! When dealing with the ,let’s say more salubrious end of the Madden clan ? (Who am I fucking kidding?? I am talking about me and Lee here….) Its best not to ask so many questions,dig?.If we are not minding something that dislodged its self off the back of a truck we are usually seeing a man about a dog….

I dont care how he got her,we were meant to be together.

My beautiful Bass! Her name is Corey and she likes long walks on the beach,The Stooges,distortion and ME! I am not ashamed to say it,we are in love.Nothing like the love between a girl and her instrument.I did porn shots with her tonite.We are getting married.

I can play the beginning of “The battle of nevermore” on the mandolin now as well.Bow and pay great homage.

4;36 in the morning.I am addled.

M

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