I gotta tell you,you know that its a real bad day on Planet Shit when not even finding a super cool Iggy Pop tee-shirt in the five dollar bin at Thraxxy’ secret squirrel outlet store has really put a dent in it.


But it is a really cool tee shirt…..

I am manic once more so the house and corpse are both clean but the OCD is out of fucking control yet again.. I have a few amazing people around me and what feels like a head full of cotton wool and mastodon shit. My sadness is insidious. Creeps like fog and winds like Spanish moss. Holds me when I mange to sleep. When I make it under.

My TV show is back after a hiatus which means breaking, invisible in my case because I am too fat, bread with my amazing team and getting ready to do our guerrilla interviews once again. Guess who is on a liquid diet and training every day? Sigh.I have my dexterous digits crossed for Pennywise and The Bronx.That would be some sweet punk rock interrogation right there.  Matt Skiz, my illustrious co-host, has been recruited by King Parrot which means he is in about twenty bands now. I my fine self have shored up in four if you can believe that! Steve Hughes is back in the country so I think that means sound bites, joints,big laughs and other assorted mayhem. I am glad. I need another reason to starve and workout for hours.

I am not being sarcastic. It will be good for me.

I better start gravitating towards thing that are good for me and soon. I have just joined a really cool punk band so I have been writing songs and playing heaps of guitar again. Singing in this one and hopefully playing second guitar if I get my way which,let’s face it, I usually do. (Not when it comes to boys though….) Its is gonna be a whole grip of call and reply tantrum based fun. Then you got the stoner band that has installed me on the mic. Then you have “The Heshers” which is me and Thraxx going autistic on acoustics. Good times indeed! Work is good! Sound saves! If I don’t push myself I sink like a stone ( *plop*) . Blackie is down in Tasmania again recording. I have a show with him on the Easter long weekend. I have not decided if I am going to dress like a playboy bunny but it is always an option.

Bored my therapist to death last session. The whole “Why am I so undesirable ?” shtick. The bones of my face drift and I don’t look like anyone that I know. I am booked in to get my hands tattooed in a few weeks so that’s something. Fucking with my packaging never fails to calm me.

Had a super loud jam with my most beloved  Saint Cecilia on Friday and I swear I am still high from it. When we lock that shit in? Ohhh baby!  I am electric. Granted,I know that I whine about my lack of loving ( Read- hot animal fucking )  more frequently than anyone really needs to read about but man ,I gots to tell you, jamming with my brothers ? Well that right there hands down beats any fuck in the world. Its like a 3 hour orgasm!  I’m all sweat,hair,callused fingers ,hot-pants and suede boots. A sexual bass bent tsunami.  Its the only time I feel right. And sadly the only time I feel sexy.

Not much makes me feel beautiful but that sure as hell does. I cannot stress how brilliant it is throwing down with a second bass player and the depth that it brings. I lose my mind out there. And I am singing my ring out. Trying to be Ann Wilson from Heart is fucking fun!  Till we tuned to G# I had no idea that I had an upper range that with a bit more work will shatter glass.

Camper happy? Oh yeah.

So. Guys dig lesbian porn. They watch it all the time. Hours of it. So you would think that they would have learned to eat pussy by now right? Just sayin’…..

Now,where was I?…..

Just  txting my heart-hurts to a dear friend back in the states. He is bored on the bus heading out west to play a grip of headlining shows and giving me some pretty hysterical advice, bless him. He tells me that even though we know that I  am a total spaz, guys just see the school uniform and the stems…oh and the tits and the tan…and…well fuck it! You get the picture. He tells me sagely that dudes think that I am, quote ” Out of their league.”  What fucking league? What? Am I Ty Cobb with tits here?

He made me laugh and reassured me I am the shit. I love my far flung freaky friends so fucking much. I told him that I still have my rock and roll and I vibrator so its not all bad.

And you know what?  Right now? It will do just fine.

I’m not in the mood for much else. I am a novate to noise. Sister Michele of Sonic Annihilation has a nice ring to it doncha think? . Fuck yes .I can dig that!

Rock and Roll can be mean and fickle but its a forever thing and its real. Most importantly we belong to each other. Music is mine. Its way more real than boys who stand you up or drive you crazy when you cant be what they want. Or the ones who are too dumb to see that you are just what the doctor ordered. Or the lost love of your life who you are still connected to across miles and years. Pft! I need to go to bed.

Its all too much work. Now get on your knees and gimme a novena and a wet dream.Amen.

See you in the funny pages fuckers.