No stranger can get a great many notes of torture out of a human soul;
it takes one that knows it well- parent ,child,brother, sister,intimate.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes [1858]
Where there is love there is pain.
-Spanish proverb.
Fucking musicians.Not mine this time belive it or not!….I mean, This is what my dirty ass does.What kind of people do you think I am gonna meet? Fellow sonic heathens right? Sure. So if I fall for some one? Even for a second? What do think they are gonna do for a living? Play the fucking devils music.Duh.Problem being is that we are all kinda dumb when it comes to the mating game.Which is why the lord invented beating off.
Still dragging that dog -eared photo around the world.I am a useless romantic,dig?
Said foxy has got a sweet domestic set up that means that I admire from a far…Better off in my imagination I am so sure [ On a good day I am so sure…]
Just lovin Rosscos new addition to the front page.The tale will all unfold in due time……
It makes me jumpy when people are nice to me.Headshy motherfucker that I am.I wonder what they want.It is totally beyond me when a civillian wants to date me.Then it gets back to Me…..”Yeah…Shes in a band!” Ok,next time Blow all my band mates while I hold the camera if that kind of status means so much.All my fault ’cause I am “Always gonna be going……”
Makes me wanna write Bon Jovi type tunes and play 12 string guitars.Makes me wanna blow chunks is what it does.
Music saves !!!!!!! Stevie Wonder !!! Excuse me for a moment!!!!!
Ok! Fuck the Bon jovi idea! I am reborn via Motown! I just did the Soul Train dance down the middle of this all nite cess-pit.Shameless.A most wicked mix Cd from a girl who is sweet as sugar back in Sydney town…..
I had one person in my life love me for me.Long gone and too long ago.The only reason this theme keeps comming up right now is because I am bored off my tits and questioning everything.Cept’ noise,and that is so far away…..I bet it will be another 2 weeks before I am called in.By then I would have been going postal for almost 3 months.Sigh.
13 songs.All of them sweet and strange in their own way.Most of you Sikfuks are tight with a few of them.”NOLA “still makes me wanna kick in a window.Its sounding massive. I am keen for all of them to go onto the album but Ash wants to cut it to 10. I have already had to kiss a few good bye that made my heart sore.”Sand” was the one that I miss.”Fracture” is in for now.”Novena” has been kicking round since last summer and its massive.”Hitch” missed out again but you never know where shit is gonna turn up……The download trax that dont make it out this round? Think of them as a private thanx to those of you who got in there to listen and give us support.You rule.
Some fat dude with nipple rings and whip marks across his back informed delux that it is gonna be -18 on Sunday.Ross meets the strangest people in the dressing room at the gym.I dont.There was one inked girl in there a few months ago but the eye candy is pretty thin on the ground.Sub zero temps.Why Me?
My life at this point is pure country and western.Everyday rolls by like a fat drunk on welfare day and I never make the phone calls.Havnt touched base with anyone in BC.B* is not getting any calls….I dunno.I think that if someone was nice to me right now I would slip my moorings completely.
Guess that I am gettin’ my dirty rox off while I can.By the time Delux gets to Spain [“Oh god! dont leave Me here!!!”] the last thing he is gonna be into is my shite via the internet.Just when I think that I cant sink any lower the tweekers at this cafe are giving me the “You are one of us” eye when ever I stumble in here.I wonder if there is a secret hand shake? Ross had me in stiches at the Supermarket.I remember when I used to be that shameless.We had security following us around because it seems the more I fade away the more lairy he gets.I got him a donut by way of thanks.Once we had the fuzz on our tails we started dissing Calgary at top volume.The more attention he gets the easier it is for me to do my musical Robin Hood number….
Nothing much else to do ya know….Sue is trying to sell the house that we are living in at the moment and as I am never awake I tend not to find out when these estate pimps are showing people through the house.They got the fright of their life when they opened my door tonite.I sleep like I have been shot.I heard the woman gasp “Omygod!’ before they made a break for the door.Was it My lanky leg hanging out the bottom of the pile of borrowed bedding or the baseball bat?
Who can say.Fucking civillians.
Mikey is happy.That in itsself is quite interesting to see.I would be happy if I was processed 1st and was heading into the middle of a rock soaked summer.Me and Ross were talking about fandom and other such earth shattering subjects…I have spent more time with him than anyone on this run.I am never gonna hurt or rip him off.I have lost count of all the times I have been fucked over and burnt.This is the 1st time that anyone has ever messed with his inner peace and it makes my blood boil.I would do anything to take all the gross-ness away from him.
He is alot smarter tham me.He is a real player and I am not.I just go in and start swinging.My nature dear.I wanna get him a t-shirt that says “I hate Calgary” I am sure he would wear it.He is still waiting to get in and lay his parts down.The clock is ticking like crazy.Mike is out on Wednesday then Ross 6 days later.
And here I am.In shitsville .With Ash……..There is somthing in me that tells me to keep going.If I could find it I would kill it with my bare hands.I always wondered what it would be like to have this kind of time.I think if we hadnt of had to deal with so much two faced bullshit it would have been a different story.Its like going for so long,at such a high vibration that when you stop you fall apart.I guess that is what happened to me.To a degree anyway.
I did not come into this a strong as I would have liked,but I dont think that I am ever strong enough at the time.I always want more.Just like The bass gods arm ink states.I have nowhere to aim myself.I never go to the studio.I was told early in the peice not to.I have these small freezing circles that I roam.Itchy trigger finger.
There are too many empty hours for me right now.I could not see an end in sight……I want to call the album “Belltower” .Nothing that I come up with anyone likes.See my suprised face? Yeah right.
Here is the one that was worth waiting for….I give you Rossco Delux.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A] An anal glory hole.
What is your greatest fear?
A] Being caught pissing on the seat.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
A] Insul…he invented selling electricity.
Which living person do you most admire?
A] My mother.
What is your greatest extravagance?
A] my skin products…Clarins.
What do you dislike about your appearance?
A] The fact that my beard is not black.Besides that, I am perfect.
Which living person do you most despise?
A] No one.
What is your greatest regret?
A] Regrets ….Ive had a few….[ see “My way” Frank Sinatra ]
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
A] Myself.
When and where were you the happiest?
A] Now.
Which talent would you most like to have?
A] Already talented enough.
What is your current state of mind/
A] Content.
If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?
A] I would never have let my parents sell my childhood home.I long for my green carpet.
If you wre to die and come back as a person or a thing what do you think it would be?
A] Electrical impulses.
What is your most treasured possesion?
A] My foreskin.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A] Its not my misery…the haves and the have nots……
What quality do you like the most in a man?
A] His skin.
And in a woman?
A] Her skin .
What do you most value in your friends?
A] Their skin.
Who are your favorite writers?
A] Robin Hobb, Jarrod Diamond, The Earl of Rochester.
Who are your heroes in real life?
A] My mum.
What are your favorite names?
A] Beer,Frankie and Basil.
How would you like to die?
A] Naturally.
What is your motto?
A] Live and learn [Motto from primary school.]
And there you have it.He sounds like somthing out of a Thomas Harris novel with all that “Skin….” stuff.He said that I should answer all these questions.I dont know why.Y’all know what my shit is about thus far.
Fuck it.
SF4L
Michele.
