There is a straighter line than you were first lead to believe and I greive for such ignorance.
-Untitled-New album-M.Madden.
Take me back to dirt and scum.Gimme red lights,gimme high heals gimme drunk whores and guido pimps gimme 12 hour nights and tattoo guns buzzing gimme sharp thirsty blades that moan my name,gimme green soap shaved skin ink in dogyears stale beers and a ciggette that never ends axl crooooon,gimme panda eyes stale air no sleep crack whores dark alleys made men fenced shit roapy veins dirty stages hard core porn broken teeth votive candles jail time ships commin in nick cave singin to me champane drunk under aged over pained only the faggots loved me….. gold dust women smeared edges guns and roses,swoon worthy kisses high school maybees boys in the car park gimme tonite forever gimme sweet hazy swamp grown sweetleaf Ozzy told me that i was gonna go snow blind Fucked till we were sore and still wanted to get high vodka and morphine and i smelt rotten water hurt then remember ?veins away from me.I got so drunk the day of your funeral that i almost fell of the back of his harley i thought if i jumped i would fly hitting up between parked cars kyuss a million pills for a million ills…if you tell we are gonna kill you family…you are a slut…I peed blood and was grown up then….Paper bag fuck ….too ugly to screw…a block of hash the size of my fist…he put sugar in the water to make the dope grow sweeter AK-47 in the house knife with my name V8 finger fuck foils dealing and making deals under tables I know this bent doctor dont use that fit again…Dropped a pill and i loved you till the sun rose,Big chalky sleepers,ludes,ludes,ludes and valium munchies who lives here?Cherokee in La and the GBH was under the sink and he got pissed and locked me out threw all my shoes out the window cause i was gonna be a star in LA baby How much can he get?…. stripclub princesses coulda loved ya junkie ass if you hadnt of stolen my guitar and you read my journal and i felt so right telling you to get out fallin down the stairs I beat on you just as good as you wailed on me daddy-o and sure we can blame it on the coke damn is that blood? Is it bleeding.rehab and lock down,hep tango yellow girl red wine blues Fuckin dyke.Sleepin with an axe handle Bitt my sister at the ranch..dont call it rape baby dont do it to me You cant even see the bruise so dont worry about it.I havnt eaten in 3 days…smashed plates and I wont wait for you sleepin in the closet on borrowed time thinking that i would live forever.
In your arms.
thought I was real.
( you are your 1st 20 years michele….Ross.)
Oh god…………………………
I never really reach.I did at four this morning and regreted it.Live in a van? Nowhere to run.Its lazy here.I have let myself slide.Opium madness…..
“Everybody is so fulla shit….”
Perry Farrell
The ones that you think will last never do.I curse mine with my belief.I was in Miss Annies bathroom today when I caught sight of myself in her mirror.I look like no one that I know.Beauty denied I will now open myself to the possibilities of completely destroying myself.
Do you wanna watch?
I cried.Sat in the snow and sobbed.It was like taking a shit.Just another bodily function.Felt a bit better after the fact but not much.Leif said to me before I left that this would be the run where I fell off the wagon.Most days I am hopeless with my lifetime.Admitted.But to fall off the wagon would take the last of me.Cant do it.I want a ciggerette soooo bad.Sittin’ on the sofa at Dylan and Nikkis playing with one but never lighting it.Dyaln snatches it out of my hand and tell Me that I wont start again cause I am not a failure.
Who is out there?
I dream about you.I see you all as lights across a open space.I can see you in the distance but you cant hear me.There it is.You cant hear me.
You learn how to fight with a greater skill than you ever imagined.We are not really playing agin and the thouht of long months of no relief burn me dry.I know that we will be in lock out and that this album is the shit but what will I do without it? I am gonna be watching for tripwires now more than ever.
I have no relief in sight right now.
It will drive me or destroy me.
Again I ask you….Do ya wanna watch?
When ever things go right for me I want to ask if they have the right sister.
Tonite I suck.
By your leave.
SF4L
Michele
