I never wanted it to end this way..

..But flies will always lay their eggs……..
-M.Manson.

That right there is some depressing shite,is it not?

Peh!

A crap day.I mean, the water is fine,The sky clear…….

Just my grumpy ass is in emotional traction.Having one of my “GOD! People SHIT me” days.I shit myself the most.

I just spent a non-productive day in my bunk.

I ran till my legs turned to jello last nigt and it all caught up with me.I think that if I did not have the gym at the moment I would be throwing rocks at cars…Ross and Mikey are jamming all the time.They are hensforth to be known as “The green Stripes” They rule…I like sitting on a roadcase in the dusty shed just feeling the bottom end pass through me.Ash is down stairs writing his ass off.And me? I am just trying to stay out of everybodys orbit I guess.

What do I think of when I am pressing weights……

I think about my blood at first.Rushing,unsteady, picking up speed to boiling point.Then when it starts burning, I see faces.I see situations.I am a sweating Orsen Welles.Rebuiding the film of all my betrayals, lovingly, frame by frame.All the hurts…I drag them out.I pull them behind Me.I carry them like a cross.And it fuels me.It flashes before me and I keep going.I go from Gangly and unco to pounding through a jungle.I cant see.I am in my own loop.

And it is there that I finally mean somthing.

It is there that I exist.

I am king.

And that, Charlie Brown, is how you burn off 5 hours a day……

[Jack of all trades master of none.Honking surburban wankerites.Sigh.]

I dig watching people at the gym though.I make gnarly drooling faces at the little girls who stare at me in the change room.Little fuckers.The old Sicillian women nod their head in approval at my armpit action and the Chinese women dripping with jade sound like wild birds chattering in the steam room.

I dig living in a place where everything is written in French.I have about as much culture as a tub of low fat dip at the best of times so I feel elevated…kinda…not really. Still cool meeting foxy chicks that sound like Peppe la pew though….

Vietnam dude has not been to the gym this week.

I have been meaning to tell y’all about Him.He was never in Vietnam I am sure,Too young.But you know those dude that look like they should have been? [ “You dont know man…YOU werent there!!!”] Well,thats him.He has got these totally burnt out eyes and does the equivilant weight wise of bench pressing a small european sports car with one hand.I keep expecting to see him dart in,and he darts,with a string of ears around his neck.He puts a strap around his HEAD for christs sake, and does weights with his neck!!! You gotta see it to belive it.

I wanna yell “INCOMMING” just to see if he dives….

What else?

I like jumping in the pool and watching everyone else jump out.

Delux call the aqua aerobics classes that hinder his lap time “The mongolid minefield” which never fails to crack me up.We are a nightmare together.He turns me into a real bitch…not that I needed much help.

Meh.

!0 hours in the bus tommrow through the Rockys [“Hey Bullwinkle! Watch me pull a rabbit out of my ass!!] all in the name of rock and roll.Sweet.If I had it my way would play every night.

Got the shits.People suck.

[“How are you today?” “Breathing”…….]

My options are…
1] Blow somthing up.
2] Break somthing.
3] Pick a fight.
or
4] Go over to the park,wish I still smoked and watch the squirrels being puke worthy cute untill I get so hacked off with It that do somthing……

Dont get none on ya.
SF4L
Michele.