I, Wanna rock and roll all nite!

And party every day.

-Kiss.

BONJOUR FROM CANADA MOTHERFUCKERS!

The air hostesses spoke french! We all melted! Moi ?erm?? erm…I gotta practice!

Here is a non related totally abstract list of shit that has happened in a week.And I will rate it all on the “Meter-o-rock” [TM]

[I just made that up…Pe-rettty cluey eh?]

I AM IN CANADA AND I JUST SAID “EH?” WOOOOOOOO!

Ross and I freaking everyone out at the gym. 8/10

Me hurling in the bathtub on the bus at 4am due to a shady salad? 10/10

Picking the vomit out of my nose the next day? Priceless

Number of band members who would rather give head to a broken bottle than hear me play guitar? 3/4

More fireworks in one week than that Audioslave video [Dave is a Pyro-tech.]? 7/10

Me trying to show other members of my band the afformentioned snot? Not very clever.

Being given “Come out and Play” By Twisted Sister on gatefold by a Sikfuk? 9/10

Blowing shit up by the lake and not loosing a hand? 5/10

Kiss dogtags from sweden the nite we bailed?10/10

Members of Tourettes who have had food poisioning? 3/4

Evil sleep all day “I am never gonna drink again why are you looking at me like that I mean it this time!” hangovers? 1/4

Fag jokes on the bus? 18768763876487648765867586587658765.

Shit jokes on the bus? About the same.

Litres of shit pumped off the bus by Mikey and myself in 9 days? Roughly 600.

Russian gymnest pain and diffculty rating of showering on the bus? 9.5

This will go on as the tour keeps rolling.Heh….hehehhh….MUAHHAHA!

Sorry if I have been crap on the email from but my account thru the site is as twisted as a born again christian at the moment.The day we left I had 596 emails telling me how to get a bigger dick and a heap of letters from you fine people that I could not access.So If you have written me over the last month I am not being a dick and blowing you off.Try me again and I will get back to you.

So good to have computer access for long enough to touch base with all you Sikfuks again! It really has been too damn long! Before I go any further in my tales I gotta thank everyone who came down to our last Australian show in Kings Cross.

If you were there? I bow to your pit! That was one of the best nights of My life.I watched it on Rosscos computer [Thanx Tony and Box!…have not taken the necklace off yet dude!] on the way to Hawaii.All you can see is the pit of doom!Limbs fucking flying! It was all my Slayer -esque wet dreams come to life!

If you decided to stay home?

You will be lying you ass off ,telling your mates that you were there soon enough….snort!

……soooooooooo,

It was the flight of doom times three.

But we made it 20 somthing hellbound hours later.

You will be seeing our tour bus soon enough on tourettes Tv.Its bigger than my last fucking apartment.Dave and his crew were at the airport when we arrived and have been taking A-1 care of our rotten asses since.I am sitting in his house writing this to ya’ll right now.he and his wife Sandra have the paitince of at leat 5 saints….Oh man! Speaking of “Paitence” guess who got up and wooed a table fulla canook chicks with that very evergeen number at karoke just the other nite? hmmmmmm…..I gotta tell you though,nothing , and I mean NOTHING,bar me sticking a grenade up my ass and pulling the pin, could beat my Bass-gods stunning version of “My Way”

My favorate bit was when the fat lady in the leasure suit almost had a heart attack.

We got it on video so its all good.

Besides being in heaven cause all I do all day is train at the gym next door [ Ross is “Ripley” and I am “Connor” when we are goading each other to do another few reps….] and write untill my hand goes numb, I am really impressed with the clubs that we are gonna be playing at.Dropped by “The back alley” the other nite [I shit you not] Bar girs dancing on the bars,spooky kids everywhere and the closest version of Miss b

Brody I have seen since,well, I last saw the real Miss Broody…spooky….It was like a teen movie gone wrong! And packed to the rafters on a Wedneday nite…did I tell yall that I am going to see LA Guns in 2 weeks?….Sorry…I digress….pissed off that I missed W.A.S.P due to killer jetlag the nite we arrived…[sorry Glamours!]

Where was I…..Oh yeah! So I am cruizing around when the Dj Says “I wanna here you make some noise and give it up for Tourettes who are here all the way from AUSTRALIA!!!!!” And they all went sik! I swear all I needed was a redhead to come up and start talking about band camp……

Spoke to Gene Hoglan on his birthday.Strapping are in the studio at the moment.

“Hey babe! You taking care of yourself?’ [Me,playing worried jewish mother…]

“Hell-NO beautiful!” He bellowed at me and started coughing as we both pissed ourself.Vancover better brace its self when we hit the town together again! We are gonna kinda mix both of our birthdays together….Ya’ll will most likely hear it back home!

I better get out of here but I will stay on this a bit more.Mike wants on and I am sooo slow.There are gonna be some really cool people hitting the chat from this side of the planet so You SF’s back home show em how its done ok? I have told em all about you!

Oh yeah.If anyone is in Europe and they see my Mom? Can they say hey from me and tell her that Im Ok?

Cheers.

Stay sik.

SF4L

Michele.

[AWOL.]