‘Tis some visitor,’
I muttered ‘Tapping at my chamber door-only this and nothing more’.
-Edgar Allan Poe.
Well bugger off!
-Me.
There was a shady time in history when ,clad in a cowboy hat and other flimsy assorted finery,I would heave myself up apon a coffee table or milkcrate in smoky living rooms of little or no distiction and recite “The Raven” by Mr Poe at full volume to the pack of stoned losers amassed on a shitty dung colored sofa. Until someone threw the bong at me or I fell over.
The End..
Why I am planting such an unsettling visual in your mind I have no idea.I got woken by an incessant tapping so that may be it…….
Life is all about the soundtrack.Moods bay-bee! This is why I have got my knickers in a twist. Well,If I wore any I would. I digress…
Ok ,Picture this.We are about to play CBGBS.What do I need to listen to.?
Television
Blondie
The Ramones
Patti Smith
Iggy Pop
The New york Dolls
Right?
Right!
Lets jump to the West coast shall we?
Gonna play the Whisky on the Strip…[WAH!]
Which calls for….[besides leather pants and balls the size of Montana…]
The Doors
Motley Crue
Capt Beefheart
The Flying Burrito Bros
Love
Guns and Roses
Wasp
Frank Zappa.
So on and so forth.
You could not deny me these things.It would be fucking criminal!!!! A Musical felony!!!! Problem being, for every bloody city and venue in the world I have about 10 fucking cds that are mega relevent which leads us to my condrum…….and…while Im at it…..
DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BLOODY DETROIT!
Its A-lot of fucking Cd’s.I want a Sherpa guide to lug my music collection on tour.And it would be nice to have some one to do yoga with.
Oh fuck! Now I want a Lama as well….. What was my point?
erm….
I am awake for I am stresed.
Not over my usual petty crap…this is fuckin’ important!
Or bummed.Dont you hate it when a product lies to you?.I braved the mall [ “The mall!!!!!” ] yesterday to go and buy a Cd case.
A saucy vixen of a bloody lying Cd case!!! I was felling pretty stauch in the seeming secure fact that I would be able to last a 4 month Tour of duty with 96 Cds.Right? Scam platters off fellow band mates.Buy more? Fucking wrong! Thats what!.I have jammed every thing that H.Rollins has ever breathed on and all Of my beloved Sabbath ect ect and I cant even zip the fucking thing up.B* caught me trying to fit more than one CD in every pocket…
For shame.
I hung my head under her feline green orbed “Tsk-ing” Gaze.
Like I am gonna leave the country with out everything that AC/DC ever did. I mean???[ Bon era natch.] Have a heart!
Oh God! And The Saints!
I am doomed!
There was a dude selling “Bling” at the mall-o-hell and due to my finely honed Irony-o-meter I was gonna buy a big necklace but then I thought of all the people who wear studded belts who have never heard of The Exploited and The desire that I have to smack their heads in.I may get the diamond studded guitar for Ash though.He is above my moral pettyness.Too weird and far to cool.He emailed me with the stellar news that I get our new pre-pro CD this week.I am moist!
[Note; Tooo much detail!]
I wanna meet Steve Jones.Sorry! Listening to the Sex Pistols.I just wanna say thank you for such a monster sound……
Giving Miss Shelia The rest of my photos before we jet.So keep your eyes on the site and Delux wants you guys to contribute to the new site so if you got any art that you want to see splashed around send to him and he will get it up there. Cool. Also The mega talented Miss Kim Francis From Smackcentral will have a gallery up soon.She does all the great black and white stuff,trust me you,you will dig it.
The gallery on www.sikfuks.com blows my mind! Go see it.You can rate the pix now [I Shudder!] Kidding!
So as always ,It will be 4 dirty t-shirts,Army issue boots a few stupid hats and a million cds.[“Hellllloooo Seattle!!!!!!] Practical.
I just want to say that there is nowhere NEAR 96 cds in that thing.Does anyone wanna donate an I-pod to a worthy cause?.And where the hell is My copy of “Funhouse”????? Gotta be lovin’ the B*.She is out in 2 weeks [ All I am gonna say is that LA should brace is fautlined ass!!!! Snoop Dog? Beware man! She is comming for your skinny-blunt-rolling- butt.Fo’ Shizzle….] and as a major act of indulging my idiot self she sat through “Apocolypse Now” ‘Cause she knows that it is one of the visual corner stones to my existance.Now THAT is cool.
I checked,She did not pass out once.
Toddski calls me “Kurtz” That is why Toddski still gets Xmas cards.What a star. His woman hates me but he still breaks his balls to be my mate.And as we all know that is not an easy feat when a broard puts the screws on.I am lucky.It also looks like I will hafta find somewhere else to stay in NY if she reads that.Well,Truth hurts.
Heh.
WAH! Got to talk to Blackie in London this morning.So cool.His voice is holding out and they are getting ready to head to a monster festival in a few days to play with Discharge [sigh…..] Who have a new singer[???] He sounds well and that is all that I give a shit about,Well that and the fact that he always gets me the most killer bootleg t shirts off some dodgy Jamacian guy in Camden markets when ever he is over there! Score!
The boys wont let Me take my guitar on tour.I am ,yes,Hurt.
So we finished off a monster night quoting our way through “Casino”.So cool.
How the hell do you sneak a guitar onto a cramped bus???
Oh Fuck!
And Led Zeppelin.What do you mean which one???!#!#!%..Well! Bloody All of them.
Shit.
shit shit!
I am awake during daylight.I dont think this is good….weird dreams again. I was impressed with Miss Shelias dream,for in it I had a tank! Sweet.
Dont bother calling our house at the moment as writing “Sweet ” just reminded me that Nanda and B* Are on a “Dude,wheres my car?” Trip and will just say “And Thennnnnnn?’ in an asian accent Until you hang up on them. It seems to be the evergreen joke at Chez Rock right now.
Tool.No sleep+computer+me= Shite.
Feeling random…
I still have an inbuilt parania that a house will fall on me for wearing striped sox.
I have to stop interjecting the word “Ring-hole” into every conversation.
Not every one is obsessed with detail,though I think they should be.
Why wont some one clean up after I am done with what ever whim took me in the 1st place?.
How much does a Tee-Pee cost?
I once lived with a girl called Fat Sally who told me that I would never succeed in anything to do with music.She usta trace pictures and call herself an artist.Like Karoke is singing right?
Eat my shit.I miss seeing the Beasts of Burbon live.
Fwa,fwa,fwa.
Matt&Matt are gonna be on hand for the new clip.Thank fuck for that!!!!!! So we will leave you with one last one before we go.If I get my way ,which I usually do being the shameless hussy that I am ,the next one will be shot live from Ozzfest.Fuck it! Why not dream big.Why would you cheat yourself outta such things? Dosnt life do that for ya enough?
The kids across the road are beating the shit out of each other again.Cheap solid entertainment.I can dig it.
SF4L.
Michele
