Living in a hellhole!

-Spinal Tap.

The only time that you should doubt me
Is when you belive you can live without me…

Please pardon the fuck outta Me.
Its not that I have not had anything to say [ Somehow I doubt that will EVER be a problem!] More the flipside.Too much to say and do so I wound myself up a treat and went up my beloved river…..

Even if I had of had somthing to say for a few weeks there no one could understand me anyway.I picked the most sadistic dentist in the history of pain and proceeded to hand over my airfair and got drilled, root canaled and extracted.Ok.So now I have no money…can ya’ll guess what happened next? Lung infection.No shit.Stupid here thinks that she is a fucking Rolex watch.Well a cross between that and the mail.I take a licking and keep on ticking and I gotta get through no matter what !@#!#@! [ “Jesus-fuckin’-please-us!!! screamed my beaten immune system ]. So,
To cut a long and stupid story short.
I am fucked.

Just got a call from Delux telling me that he booked our tickets out of here.All I can think is that all the tat that surrounds me is not worth selling and I make a crap theif.
What to do……

The highlight of the last month as always has had to do with music.Had a magic time playing out at Panthers.Took me ages to get the spray paint off my hands after the fact.[ If you are a sikfuk you will know exactly what I am talking about…..] Two words.
Fingerprint Resistant.
See them or regret it.
Oh yeah! To the 3 lovely ladies who presented their fine under aged racks to my sharpie weilding ham-fisted myopic self for signage? Thank you for one of the most rock moments ever!!!!!!
Hell,Thanx to all the sikfuks who made their way out to that baby Vegas out in the burbs’.I didnt want to leave the room! I kept thinking that it would be unwise to do so without leaving a trail of breadcrumbs.If you have never seen this place it is HUGE. There is even a whole “Kiddyland” Bit where the little ones can play while Marter and Parter throw their education funds into the gaping maw of a poker machine.The sadist in me rubs her fine boned hands with glee at the supidity of humanity.

I hate Doctors.
Just thought that I would get that one in there. I never thought that I would say this but being ill is making me even meaner than before.I just did not think that is was possible to tell you the truth. All the songs that I am writing at the moment are comming from disease and insomnia.The B* should have a day named after her for putting up with me and as is well known already ,Delux is a saint and I am a bitter motherfucker held together with scars and spite.I wake up sweating bullets with horses of flame running through the snow.

They say that you have your whole life to write your 1st album.I can dig that.It was easy ’cause you are hanging to get it all out there, you are just so fucking stoked to be doing it…The 2nd one? Lets just say that I had enough bullshit going on to fertilize the Sahara and turn it into a market garden.Nothing that I have not told you guys about.But the 3rd? ho-HO!
This is the “Betrayal” Platter.
I think that all the songs that mean the most to me this round are just big fat ugly car crashes and they have all be directly inspired by the people close to Me. Or that were. Lets just say that there are alot of kiss-offs on this one.Feel free to include them on mix tapes to anyone you hate! I would be fuckin’ flattered.

Ash has astounded Me with his understanding.Believe me that many have NOT.Pressure brings truth.
I am surrounded by cowards.
Fuck em.
My new-ish idea involes landmines and a compound in the swamps.Dont drop in with out calling is all that I am saying….snort.

So ,for my last “What the fuck!” in olde Sydney town, one of my all time favorate bands made their way up from Mexico and rocked it at The Marquee. There are some bands that shift your blood the wrong way around in your veins.They become the sound track to the movie that you have always wanted to star in.They make you feel better about everything and at the same time make you think like you can handle it all……

One of those bands for me is The Shine. Ever since the 1st time we had the honnor of fucking shit up with them down south a year ago I have been a fan.

So to Powerhead, The hell City Glamours and The Shine…thank you from the bottom of my jet black fan boy heart for making my last big night out in this whore of a city with my sweet sister and the sikfuks worth its weight in sonic gold.

Friday nites at The Marquee is the place to be.”Eleven” goes off.Dont be a pack of whiney ingrates who complain that nothing is going on…It is! I know cause I broke my toe having a bonding moment on the dancefoor in my pimpin’ boots with half the Glamours to “Youth gone wild” by Skid Row.


Cant wait to play for ya’ll tommrow night.I just want to give it away. It is the only thing that means shit to Me. Now more so than ever.You are all gonna get to see Me lose what little grip I had left on anything.I dont quite know if “Fun” is the word.Lets just make a pretty fair assumption that it wont be boring.

Made a dick of myself yet again on the radio.Dom Romeo took the time to interview me for the ABC.Thanks Man. Delux told me that I should think before I speak…HA! Like we would have any songs at all if that was the case.I hate listening to interviews that sound like some one is yanking ya chain.
Mistakes rock. Flaws rule! Fuck perfection like sex with the ex that you HATE. I mean it.
Perfection will not comfort you no matter what the mainstream shoves down your neck.It will not make you a better person and it is not gonna save you.

Excuse me for a second while I struggle with my discman….Everyone just rolled in and I view human company up there with assult and battery.[ Now I wanna listen to Metallica!!!]
I cannot stand it.Half the people I live with are on some kind of go given mission to ignore me and/or drive me crazy which reinforces my belief that you are only good for what you can provide. I get fobbed off with the old chesnut that “You are too intense Michele!”
[Read; “I got what I needed out of your loyalty and blind devotion and now I am gonna cut you lose because I am a shallow two faced cunt…later”]

Funny thing is that this was my last run. I was married once.Fucked it up so that was that.Had a few relationships.They sunk.Friends? Not many and to my profound disapointment,not true.[I was not being sarcastic there….] This was the year that I really worked it all out for keeps.It has been a series of emotional fractures and now my ass is in traction.

From the letters that ya’ll write Me that last rant should look pretty goddamed familier. You guys are the shit……….

There is somthing in human nature that so badly wants to belive.Giving up is like the load that never stops blowing.thats MY jones right fuckin’ there bay-bee! I was a fairytale kind girl.Take heavy and hectic note of that past tense action employed there…. Now I am some kind of stereo powered killing machine. I dont know if I would have picked this but seeing as it has singled Me out? What the hey!.

I really did lose the “Unlose-abe” ones this year. I did not think that I could ever be shocked again.It was not a question of hurt.Thats boring and old hat.Wah,wah.
Shock though? That was a good one and I am GLAD that it happened to me.
One of my band members asked me if I trusted him.”Nope.” I replied.And then he had the gall to look all injured. I am not the one you get to lie to you.The rest of the world will do that for you.It is not a service that I was trained to provide.

Who do you trust?
Who has your back?
Now,stop talking shit and tell yourself the truth….
Not pretty huh?

Lets move on shall we?
What is going on at “Chez Rock”…..
Delux is home and hosed from India and carting my rotten sulking ass from specialist to specialist.He will be telling ya’ll about his trip in “Uprooted” I am sure. The B* is sitting on the floor as I write this sniffing like a Peruvian Coke baron.I can hear her over Lynard Skynard AND the TV. She wont go to the doctors.I just looked at her and shes all like”Ignore me!!!!” I cant! She sound like a broken vacume full of snot.She is hitting the road in less than a month.Who knows when we will see each other again…..

Blackie is gonna be back out on tour in about a week.Over to England to play with The Exploited,no less!!!! See ya bro.There is another head that I will not see in a while.I think that they are gone for a month or so.Getting the last of the British summer,such as it is.I would tell you what Nanda is up to except that I dont know as most of the time she walks through a room and looks at me like I am somthing that was stuck to the bottom of her size 5’s.I will take a stab in the dark and say that what ever it is will involve Rock and travel.

Mikey is working on a “Need to know” basis.I just let it go. He is still the best drummer I know.Have you ever seen that movie “Falling Down”?. Take that and give it a shot of Joe Peshi and volia!

Ash is under house arrest without the ankle bracelet.He is trying to get as many songs done as he can and is.

Everything is about to change and I welcome it.I need out of here and away from a good 99% of the people I know…..
You too huh?
Run with it…….

See you in the pit