Im a fool when I need you.

-Im a fool to believe…
Rollins Band.


Delux is going to India.
I have not seen Ash.
Me and Mike fight till we go puce.
Rock and roll.
Send money.
Think of us like a religion….
A cause.
Got a toothache.
Playing a gig during daylight tommrow.
B* going to Japan to break hearts and heads.
Written a mess of new songs.
You guys rule.
I am getting my ears cut off.[ No lie, B* is gonna video it for the DVD ….gross huh?]Ya’ll can call me Lt Chopper!
Its cold.
FUCK IT!I am to bummed out to be depressed even…peh.

29/5/04….early afternoon.

“I got ONE thing to say to Craig from the Vines….”Someone need a hug!…Ya cunt!”
-My opening line Thursday nite.
[Classy huh?]

Before I get into the rock thang I got a weird as hell fable for you that has shaken me to the core…Read on Oh mighty Sikfuks…..
Woke up in a pool of sweat.

Dream –
I lived in a small town and was looked at strange as I was an educated young woman when most girls were not sent to school. My mother,father and I all lived in one huge room. We were not well off but we were happy. Both my parents were teachers.The decree came through that The German army was going to occupy our town.I did not know what was happening but I felt that I was about to experance a huge feeling of loss. A void was about to occur.

My parents thought that it was nothing to worry about. Not really. One night while still able I went down to the small theatre in town with armfulls of my writing and wrapped in a sheet I burried all my dreams on paper in case I ever got to come back.Like a dog I burried my youth. As I snuck out the back the SS were moving in the front…

We had no idea that the Germans were loosing the war and that we were a part of what Berlin called “The Final Solution”

The war was falling apart and Hitler decreed in his last will that “The war on the “Judea” [Jew] was to be ongoing…To never stop…”

We were to pack our “35kgs” I had a hatbox. The same one that I tour with now and I thought that if I packed books, Books by well know German writers,that they would see that I was different.That and a huge white inpractical dress that the female guard laughed at as I was processed.Mikey was there and talking to 3 other women from my village as well as Me in perfect Greman.One of the women taught German at the school. we asked “Why are you doing this to us?” And with his sad eyes he replyed “There are just some things that we dont like about “you” people”…..

He lead us through a beautiful garden.Insult to sad injury.On the other side the cattle cars were waiting…

I ended up in Buchanwald.

And in the final “days” [Almost a year] leading to liberation the guards would not let me die. They kept me alive to see what “I would say next” I watched my intire world burn alive and they kept me as a red eyed stunned big mouthed pet.
Dont you see?
My words saved my life.I had to keep talking. I was a Jewish Salome to these animals.

1000 nights of fire and fables.

After liberation alone I made my way “Home”…most of it in ruins.The theatre was bombed out. Evadence of The SS having had offices set up…Desks,filing cabnets…..I climbed over it all unaware of my dimished health,The lice burrowed in my skin,the stubble on my head….Down to the stage,under…to the bowels.Piles of pilfered loot that I am sure the SS thought that they would return for….From the houses of My dead kin and townfolk….

With bare hands I clawed and dug…And there, 18 long months later…no longer a child.Burning fat lingering in my head from the overloaded ovens at the camp…My words.

And I survived all.
I lost everything.
I was “What happened next”.

So I wake up LOOSING it.
As you can imagine! It was so fucking vivid. Mikey was gobsmacked as I fell downstairs half asleep and related the whole tale to him rubbing the goose flesh on my arms…he went a few shades paler. I sat there asking “Why?”

You think that everything will always be there and it was gone.

I have no idea why I am telling ya’ll this.Going for a dip in my murky subconcious! Fuck! I usually wake up screaming unable to remember the terror but this time…I rolled over,tried to wake and it kept sucking me back under.

Any of you got any theories on this one feel free to write Me! All I know is that it has landed Me in a shit mood and I am up and so is the sun and as ya’ll know that is NEVER a good sign…I just hope that the vibes did not leak over to the B* …happens you know…I have these hell dreams and she catches them. Sorry!

Nuff’ about my bullshit persicution dreams…. Naxul totally ruled last nite and The Rev Kris Hades made Mike and myself sick with his opening effort which is all you can ask for a night of Black Metal![ “Kris! Ya make Me wanna hurl! ” “Great Mish!” Beams He of all that is Gross back at Me…] If you laid all the Hair in the Metro end to end last nite you would have ended up in Melbourne! [Am now humming “Whole lotta Love” but replacing “Love” with “Locks” .Snigger.] Good to catch up with alot of old faces…heaps of whom wished I had faded away…WORST LUCK MOTHERFUCKERS!

[“Saw you in Rolling Stone” He sneered up at me. “So,Still working at the 7-11?” I smiled back, lashes batting…Dipshit! Christ people shit Me. He went an odd shade of puce and slunk back to the bar.]

I like music. I dont hide behind it…[You know who you are]….had some really great chats all the same! I was in drummer fan heaven while Chatting to Mikey Q and Pete K. Both fucking monsters behind the kit..As I am sure you will all agree..Fan boy theory chat with Rod H.[“Fuckin’ shutterbugs!”…”Fuckin’ Lead singers!” hehehe…]

Get home to be informed by the ladies of Chez Rock that we had just been on Rage! The New clip so thanx to all who got on the guest book and made em play it! Great end to a great evening!

My deaf as fuck big brother is cooking somthing with too much garlic in it and listening to the stereo on full so I hope that b* falls down stairs and thumps him for sheer entertainment value. I hope that I fully convey the joys of share living thrugh all this drivel.

I am still up for being a hermet.Howard Hughes sans tissue boxes if you will. I cant fucking wait to never see anyone ‘sept for at shows ever again.

Blackie is the TRUE germ-a-phobe. And dogshit magnet…Such language to offend My tender ears! I nearly busted a nut laughing!

Speaking of busting a nut….
The show at The Annandale was great! Thank you to all the Sikfuks who came out on a crapulent Thursday to catch us set it off with One shot kill and a little group that opened for us…erm…gimme a second…The Pains?…The Non -original-rip-offs?…Nope. Thats not it….Quaint littles buggers they were too…OH! thats it! The Vines!

Soon to be residing in the “Where are they now file”

Look,Not everyone is gonna dig everything.I sure as hell dont!That there is a solid. Plenty of people hate what I do and good luck to them. But one thing that makes me SICK,Will ALWAYS hack Me off, is bands that rip off their fans.


People came from all over the country.For What?To see them throw a tanty and break shit…Boo-hoo.And play what? 3 songs? Gimme a break!


Of course I [I have now decided that My Indian name is “Big Mouth Running” ] went off about it our whole set. We went off. Mike trashed his kit so I put My foot through a moniter [Accident! I swear!] Almost broke my leg! Headbutted Ross…felt so nice we did it twice!Mike chucked his sticks after the Mega ROCK ending so in the spirt of band solidarity I stripped off My “SF4L” custom-made-on-my-floor-half-an-hour-before-the-show wifebeater and pegged it at the pit from the riser!Felt SOOOO RocK! Marc SF faught for it and when I got my shit tight post show and came down to hang with the family HE WAS WEARING IT!!!! Now that is some kinda loyal! I sweat like a pig!!! My sturnum is not looking so kosher either..Its gonna be a wicked scar!.Tried to Show Pete at the Metro last nite but he said “Sorry! Only clocked ya tits!”

And so on that note…After covering The Second WW,SF4L,Fan lurve, Black Metal,The Vines, Tits and Injury catologue I am gonna go and pass out!

No J. I did not Belt him. I only fuck with worthy foe! And I miss you too Toddski,The King of NY!To all you SF’S keep the mail comming. I think you are the shit!

Remember…it aint gonna lick itself.
SF4Lc Michele.