Moi?…Uncool and at home.

Soundtrack….Doom Saloon [ sniff!]…Judas priest….Hole….[“Don’t question me!’]

No quote…..

I lied you know.
When I wrote “Damage”.
I lied.
I said “You’ll never see my damage…..”
Liar.

I wear mine and every motherfucker can see it. The way I figure is that when you hide it you are sniffed out. You are right in front of your face and the hounds have been set loose on the grounds. You can run for your life or walk. You are gonna get torn a new asshole one way or another….

To all who got to see The Pod people at the Vic last night while I was legging it to Newcastle. I am green with envy and I hate your guts. I needed to be at the Doom Saloon bad. Nixed. So In honor of my bummed out mood a free form poem.Im feeling a bit Ginsburg so bear with me…

Bugger
Pod people at the Vic
Me in the bong on wheels.
Fuckit
Missed it..
Hence?
Bummed.
Thank you.

‘Tis a long way indeed Sir Bon.

As Miss Susan Sikfuk wrote me from Smackcentral [ aka; Melbourne] “I am bummed that you missed your fave band but I miss you guys all the time so shut up….”

Well,it was something along those lines.

I don’t want this to be all down [ If you don’t own “NOLA” and “…Bustle in your hedgerow” you need ya head checked…] and what not. I just wrote a whole other epic and this stupid thing crashed like the Fucking Concord which then sent me into the arms of “Hearts of darkness” which gets me a tad riled up and yelling at the TV and what not. Mikey called me a “Warmonger” tonight. Now, You tell Me? Is it wrong that I did not take offence? That I smiled?……..

Some days I don’t know what the fuck I am fighting.

I was not going to write about the Surry Hills Show. I was gonna keep it all light and sweet about our jaunt to Newcastle yet I find myself returning to you that were there. The waves that we rode. I don’t know if I cant let it go or it wont let me go. Lines are blurred. It is late and I am alone.

Don’t ask Me what happened. We ALL happened. I am driven by something that wants to fuck Me or kill Me. I never feel big enough. I don’t know if any of us ever will. Tonight I know that the one solid reason that oxygen and I are still on friendly terms is to spite my enemies. The one thing that I did not lie about was the fact that I will never name the names….They know who they are. Worse luck for them…I will never forget who they are. And they know it.

As Willie Dixon once wrote “I got a black cat bone”
As I once wrote “Fuck with Me, C’mon! Bring it on….”
Same thing really…..

I keep walking round the house picking stuff up and putting it down. I don’t know why its all here. All there possessions confronting me. Constituting A life. A life style that I want no part in. I open boxes rabidly looking into pieces of my past. As if a moment of clarity will jump out and goose Me.

I want to take to myself with a linoleum knife when I am up there. When I am up there I never want to be anywhere else. I don’t think that I have got anywhere to go…. and I will Never be good enough and that is what drives me. Passion with a melting heart of ice. I would perform an autopsy on myself. For You? Or Myself? Who can say…..

…… lets just ride it.Delux had got a new van and I have written a song called”Jeff Spicoli” in its honor. The thing is a monster. We left at five and made it in for line check round 8 I think. I lied to The guys from Fullscale and told them that I was the roadie. Lead singers man, Really there is nothing worse. Its up there with being a speed hump. You know when you talk to those dudes and they are all like “IM the LEAD SINGER” and you know that they are seeing it in capital 20ft red neon…tossers..or I say that I am The drum tech.

You Novacastrians are some of the most staunch sikfuks I have ever had the Honor of hanging with.Thank you for making it worthwhile yet again. Gotta tell ya’ll that the Slayer/Pantera singalong at the end of the night will go down as one of my all time touring classics.That and my passable Mike Muir impression that a sniggering B* got and everyone else went “Huh?’ [“All I wanted was a Pepsi!!!….”] I sent thru all the profiles that I could READ,you drunk- ass fucks!!! YOU RULE! Go to www.sikfuks.com in a few days and feel free to make any adjustments. I can just imagine the look on Miss Shelias face. She is gonna have my ass in a sling.

I wanna thank Big Bill and Fullscale for putting us on. I must be growing up. The only thing I broke last nite was my head when I ran into Deluxs bass.The less said about B* and my cartwheel festivities in front of the Fillmore lightshow the better…I know it freaked out the drummer.

Poor Delux had me shot gun on the way home. I stank and it was like being inside a mobile mosh. Mikey was passed out in the back since he had been up since 5.Ash and the B* were up in smoke and I was fading in and out to My Most beloved Guns and Roses when I had a revelation. Its not a good move having a revelation when your highly strung Piscean bass player is bug eyed on the highway to hell and you forget that you still have your headphones in. And bellow “COWBELLS!!!!!WE NEED COW BELLS ON EVERY FUCKING SONG!!!!!!!” It was “Bad obsession ” That did it. A true vision! A moment of clarity!!! Poor fucker nearly ran off the fucking road.

Then he rabbit punched me and told me to shut up.

Mikey is used to my cowbell rants….”Where would the fuckin’ Stones be without that cowbell at the beginning of “Brown sugar”? Huh? I firkin’ ask you that????”Mike being the Zen kinda guy that he is just nods sagely and pretends to listen to me.

This was around 3;46….
Shit went from bad to worse at 4:00 when I lunged forth from my stupor once more and woke every one up with the earth shattering announcement that from this moment forth we would be covering “November rain” B* thought this was the best thing since the last cone pulled and to celebrate we started to sing, no less, the guitar solo that Slash nails while kicking dust and looking cool outside the church. It was then that I thought that Ross was gonna pull over and leave me at the Woy Woy exit.

Thought…How did they fit all those wedding guests inside such all small church and where were all the cars parked? Can you imagine how dangerous I would be if I had half a brain? I wanna kick dust or stand on a rocky outcrop pulling a guitar solo!!! That would rock!!

B* and I are Bevis and butthead….with tits.

To make things worse Ash started doing his god awful version of “Knockin” on heavens door”

I don’t remember anything else till we loaded back into Chez rock at 5 am.

Since I had the house to myself tonight…yup…you guessed it…..War movie frenzy.I think that I am the only 20 something rockchick that has a Vietnam vet trapped inside them….
Incoming!!!!!!!!!
Platoon / Hearts of Darkness /Apocalypse Now/ Full Metal jacket.
Bad mood just got worse,
Everyone came home.

Take shit from no man.
SF4L
Michele