Why do I have to get locked up for protecting your freedom?

-Larry Flynt 1976

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that today has been utter shit. To put it even better? A total cunt. Only not as useful.

When you are small you parents look you in the the eye and tell you that one of the worst things you can do [ outside of setting fire to a family pet and I am not in the mood to get into that right now…] is to lie, always tell the truth they say……

Thing is that no one ever wants to hear it…..

When are you ment to stop?
Is it only when your are answering to them…..
I am good and goddamed if I know anymore but this is a lonesome rope to be swinging from.

I got a crick in my neck from trying to get all these fucking knives out of my back.
I will say it to your face . If you dont want to know? Dont ask me…deal? Cool……

I am in one hell of a rut. I feel like I keep writing the same song. I wont let it go. Other people will tell you that they forgive, that they have forgotten all about it.What the fuck ever.. They lie like dogs. They are the ones with the half moons etched into their palms from clenching their fists to break point while gritting their teeth at the roaches who rule them. Smile pretty for the big boss man now…. maybe I am ment to sing this song forever? I will mix it up with some ELO covers or somthing. It is not such a bad song you know,not really.

She tells Me all she hears is hate
When we speak
So I tell her not to call
and the wound still weeping
[“You hear that? ” I think…]
Dont leave Me…She says.
I wont take you…I telll her.
I wish that you would forget Me…I say
She wont
I cant.
Do this anymore….so I stop.

Lions and tigers and bears oh my!In-fucking-deed.

I am black and white. I leap before I look and I do and have done myself more damage than anyone else will ever manage.

Boo-ya sucks to me huh?

I was recording today again with Ash and I am so pissed at myself. I get some good shit but there is this this hatred inside me that burns so fucking hard, cant put it out.I close my eyes and think of, see their faces, all the assholes that I trusted and loved and I just spew this utter lyrical bile…. I told one of the only people in my life that I did not trust them today. I told them because they asked me.I did not lie. All my trust?…the job lot that you are granted at birth? Well, it has been used up. I have done some pretty stupid shit in my life,granted. But I am not an idiot. No wonder I am sitting down here burning away while the rest of the house sleeps.

The $3:95 all- you- can- eat spit roast of hate…..

Got word from My friend Larry that he is heading down this way again…my how 2 years have flown. He is the guitar tech Per-excellence for Incubus among other great bands so if you ever hear an AC/DC riff before a show and think “Wha’ the fuck???” Chances are it is Larry. So that will be a good weekend for old grumble bum here. Looking foward to catching up again.

Cant tell ya’ll how much your support and mail means to me. I have got files of all that you send Me… The sikfuk site is looking amazing.

I got told today that people change. I said that I dont have to take them with me out of some kind of service to a shared past if our idioligies part ways.Funny watching people resent you for not giving up on yourself….I dont pick up the phone anymore.

the mesesnger always gets shot.

Delux is gonna be jetlagged and rockin’. We start jamming the day after he gets back. If I dont do this I am gonna be carving x’s in bullet tips..I shit you not..I feel like I am going crazy here.

Gonna go upstairs and watch the sun rise.I would slit a beggers neck for a Marlboro……

If they are not for you they are against you and feel free to hang round and watch Me die on My feet cause I sure as hell am not gonna live on my knees….

Roll up.Roll up……
SF4L.
Michele.