The damp night drives deeper into my soul.

-Walt Whitman.

I wanna be sedated!
-The Ramones.

I think about ya’ll alot. I know a few of you and I am touched by your trust but I am not gonna sit here and tell you that I Have any answers to anything. If you have ever met me you know to file that under “Duh!”. I am stumbling round in the dark just as much as you. Its kinda a relief to bump into someone else out there in the great big fuck all sometimes.

None of us really have anyone in a traditional sense. I think about this too much. Well, alot anyway. And by the by? Fuck Tradition! I am just some uneducated dumbshit that fronts a band yet you tell me shit that you would never share with your own blood….I would never betray you. Do you want to know why? Because I have been betrayed my whole life.

I want to write about you. To let you know that we are all in the shit together. When I am there with you I feel like I am worth more than the shit that they pinned on Me from the day I was conceived. If I can make you feel somthing,Anything that saves your ass even for one second we are winning. Its worth it.

And no motherfucker can take that away from us.

Shit…I don’t even know your names and I spill myself all over your screens at four in the morning and I still don’t know why. I guess I wanted someone to tell me that it was Ok to be a fuckup, that it was not some kind of crime. There are more of them than you. That is never gonna change but there is something so appealing about one scream in the darkness.

The shit that you send me astounds Me. I keep it all. Files of it. This is between you and me now, do you get what I am saying?. Beyond the music….Its inside the fucking sound now. I don’t mean to be getting all heavy and shit but I am on a jag. You are alone. You are always gonna be alone no matter how many people you fuck, how big your family is, if you are with someone till the day you die.

But when there are 400 of us in a room together I couldn’t think of any other way I would want to be “Alone”.

I hope that you feel the same.

I get so tired but I wont back down and I will never shut up. I don’t care if this reaches one or a million of you. I wanna tell you something that I remembered the other day from when I was real young. I have a brother. We don’t see each other a real lot. He is a solid citizen. He is a good guy. We are honest. We have fuck all in common but where ever he is in the world right now I wish him the best. I remember Our mom asking us what we wanted to be when we grew up. I must have been round five or six and I remember Jr had alot of ideas of what he wanted as four year olds are prone to. He was real vocal. Had it all worked out. I didn’t say anything until she turned to me.
“So Shell-bell? What do you want to be when you grow up?” She said smiling at me.
“I wanna be great” I said
“At what darlin’?”
“I dunno….I just wanna be great”.

I still haven’t grown up but I do still wanna be great.Somthing tells Me that you are not meant to admit that…So fuck it. I don’t think that there is a master plan and I don’t think that you are meant to have all the fuckin’ answers. Humans explode just like anything else when under too much pressure. All I spend my time doing is looking for clues and I know that I am not alone or you would not be reading this right now. The only difference between you and I is that I am writing this and you are Reading it.

Tomorrow when I hit my inbox it will be the other way around. I like the way that we all trade. You and I. I think that at 4 in the morning you sikfuks are the only solid I have ever known.

Everyone has a sad story. There is always gonna be someone better off than you or worse off but no matter what happens out in the field there is only one you and that you are irreplaceable. Once you are gone you are so gone….and if you stop? If you die? if you walk away? they win.

The least you can do for your own memory is to go down swinging.

Small victorys.No one can take anything away form you. Hold on……

I love that line in Scarface when they pull Tony Montana in for the 1st time to bust his balls and one of the cops says…
“Every day above ground is a good day.”
No shit.

I annoy people just existing so I win and if I win? We win.

We are not so different you and I.
I am just a bigger target and maybe and keep in mind, this is a massive late nite assumption, have less to lose.

I am not gonna tell you who wrote this but I am gonna share it with you….

“I’ve never seen anyone like that before.,She preached a poison Gospel for the unloved ones.The tribe that would not admit to itself. The ones with no anchor.Beating herself endlessly.I have never witnessed such blatant duality. If She was as smart as she thought she was she could have ruled the whole world and all that it contained. One night ,I saw her move, glide, through the doorway of some inner city shithole dive..Lit by some inner Vengence.Fuled by this flame that just lit her up.And as .My friend ——- called to her she spun blind on feet of glass and….but it was a long time ago and it doesn’t matter now.”

It was unsighed and touched Me in ways and places that I didn’t know existed. I tried to reply. I had so many questions but the address was dead. If you are out there tonight?

You are beautiful in a way that I could only ever dream of being.

So, here we all are joined by outlaw sound. All the good shit? That is what is gonna cost you the most….but remember that that is only if you measure by their standards. Make your own. Code, religion, path whatever the fuck you want to call it ’cause it may be the only thing that you ever really have to call your own and it may be the one thing that saves you.

This is a sentimental as you are ever likely to get me but I went through the file that I house you all in tonight and the measure of sheer talent and passion that you possess left me speechless. I shit you not. There are over 1000 emails in that motherfucker and I sat here plugged into my Discman and read them all. I hope that I ,in time answered then all as well as you wrote them to me.

Fuck being enigmatic.If you have to try to be something your not. Bottom line Ok? Do it or don’t. You don’t have time to fuck around I don’t have time for that shut-In a numb world full of shit ya’ll take time out to get to me. To tell me shit that needs to get told.
You are all strong and you amaze me.
I am lucky that you are on My side of the fucking wire and that is a fact.

I went and had a moment on the shed roof thinking about all those kids that were used to defend this island. 19 year old cannon fodder most of the time. I said my thanks, lit a candle and then got my cold old ass back inside.

Mikey getting high cleaning the bathroom [That bleach will do you in every-fucking-time] me waving my axe handle round like some crazed dictator yelling about MC5 [ So?…Is it a date then MFR? Huh?] and Rollins and Bad brains covering “Kick out the jams”, B* rolling A-1 joints and making Mikey all nervy with her knife handling skills, Lex here cause her flatmates are insane and Nanda doing her homework after seeing Radiohead last night with her super cool husband [Fuck! feels cool to write that!!!]

I live in a fucking madhouse.Wouldnt have it anyother way at this point. Just sitting in Keith watching it all unfold [“Why did you call your sofa Keith mish? inhaled lex passing the joint back along to the B*.”Cause he is old,leathery and pure rock and roll” replyed little Miss- got- a- fuckin’- answer for every thing here!] True story though.

I am out.

“Stay Gold” as SE Hinton would write…..
I am and will always remain.
SF4L.
Michele

Moi?…Uncool and at home.

Soundtrack….Doom Saloon [ sniff!]…Judas priest….Hole….[“Don’t question me!’]

No quote…..

I lied you know.
When I wrote “Damage”.
I lied.
I said “You’ll never see my damage…..”
Liar.

I wear mine and every motherfucker can see it. The way I figure is that when you hide it you are sniffed out. You are right in front of your face and the hounds have been set loose on the grounds. You can run for your life or walk. You are gonna get torn a new asshole one way or another….

To all who got to see The Pod people at the Vic last night while I was legging it to Newcastle. I am green with envy and I hate your guts. I needed to be at the Doom Saloon bad. Nixed. So In honor of my bummed out mood a free form poem.Im feeling a bit Ginsburg so bear with me…

Bugger
Pod people at the Vic
Me in the bong on wheels.
Fuckit
Missed it..
Hence?
Bummed.
Thank you.

‘Tis a long way indeed Sir Bon.

As Miss Susan Sikfuk wrote me from Smackcentral [ aka; Melbourne] “I am bummed that you missed your fave band but I miss you guys all the time so shut up….”

Well,it was something along those lines.

I don’t want this to be all down [ If you don’t own “NOLA” and “…Bustle in your hedgerow” you need ya head checked…] and what not. I just wrote a whole other epic and this stupid thing crashed like the Fucking Concord which then sent me into the arms of “Hearts of darkness” which gets me a tad riled up and yelling at the TV and what not. Mikey called me a “Warmonger” tonight. Now, You tell Me? Is it wrong that I did not take offence? That I smiled?……..

Some days I don’t know what the fuck I am fighting.

I was not going to write about the Surry Hills Show. I was gonna keep it all light and sweet about our jaunt to Newcastle yet I find myself returning to you that were there. The waves that we rode. I don’t know if I cant let it go or it wont let me go. Lines are blurred. It is late and I am alone.

Don’t ask Me what happened. We ALL happened. I am driven by something that wants to fuck Me or kill Me. I never feel big enough. I don’t know if any of us ever will. Tonight I know that the one solid reason that oxygen and I are still on friendly terms is to spite my enemies. The one thing that I did not lie about was the fact that I will never name the names….They know who they are. Worse luck for them…I will never forget who they are. And they know it.

As Willie Dixon once wrote “I got a black cat bone”
As I once wrote “Fuck with Me, C’mon! Bring it on….”
Same thing really…..

I keep walking round the house picking stuff up and putting it down. I don’t know why its all here. All there possessions confronting me. Constituting A life. A life style that I want no part in. I open boxes rabidly looking into pieces of my past. As if a moment of clarity will jump out and goose Me.

I want to take to myself with a linoleum knife when I am up there. When I am up there I never want to be anywhere else. I don’t think that I have got anywhere to go…. and I will Never be good enough and that is what drives me. Passion with a melting heart of ice. I would perform an autopsy on myself. For You? Or Myself? Who can say…..

…… lets just ride it.Delux had got a new van and I have written a song called”Jeff Spicoli” in its honor. The thing is a monster. We left at five and made it in for line check round 8 I think. I lied to The guys from Fullscale and told them that I was the roadie. Lead singers man, Really there is nothing worse. Its up there with being a speed hump. You know when you talk to those dudes and they are all like “IM the LEAD SINGER” and you know that they are seeing it in capital 20ft red neon…tossers..or I say that I am The drum tech.

You Novacastrians are some of the most staunch sikfuks I have ever had the Honor of hanging with.Thank you for making it worthwhile yet again. Gotta tell ya’ll that the Slayer/Pantera singalong at the end of the night will go down as one of my all time touring classics.That and my passable Mike Muir impression that a sniggering B* got and everyone else went “Huh?’ [“All I wanted was a Pepsi!!!….”] I sent thru all the profiles that I could READ,you drunk- ass fucks!!! YOU RULE! Go to www.sikfuks.com in a few days and feel free to make any adjustments. I can just imagine the look on Miss Shelias face. She is gonna have my ass in a sling.

I wanna thank Big Bill and Fullscale for putting us on. I must be growing up. The only thing I broke last nite was my head when I ran into Deluxs bass.The less said about B* and my cartwheel festivities in front of the Fillmore lightshow the better…I know it freaked out the drummer.

Poor Delux had me shot gun on the way home. I stank and it was like being inside a mobile mosh. Mikey was passed out in the back since he had been up since 5.Ash and the B* were up in smoke and I was fading in and out to My Most beloved Guns and Roses when I had a revelation. Its not a good move having a revelation when your highly strung Piscean bass player is bug eyed on the highway to hell and you forget that you still have your headphones in. And bellow “COWBELLS!!!!!WE NEED COW BELLS ON EVERY FUCKING SONG!!!!!!!” It was “Bad obsession ” That did it. A true vision! A moment of clarity!!! Poor fucker nearly ran off the fucking road.

Then he rabbit punched me and told me to shut up.

Mikey is used to my cowbell rants….”Where would the fuckin’ Stones be without that cowbell at the beginning of “Brown sugar”? Huh? I firkin’ ask you that????”Mike being the Zen kinda guy that he is just nods sagely and pretends to listen to me.

This was around 3;46….
Shit went from bad to worse at 4:00 when I lunged forth from my stupor once more and woke every one up with the earth shattering announcement that from this moment forth we would be covering “November rain” B* thought this was the best thing since the last cone pulled and to celebrate we started to sing, no less, the guitar solo that Slash nails while kicking dust and looking cool outside the church. It was then that I thought that Ross was gonna pull over and leave me at the Woy Woy exit.

Thought…How did they fit all those wedding guests inside such all small church and where were all the cars parked? Can you imagine how dangerous I would be if I had half a brain? I wanna kick dust or stand on a rocky outcrop pulling a guitar solo!!! That would rock!!

B* and I are Bevis and butthead….with tits.

To make things worse Ash started doing his god awful version of “Knockin” on heavens door”

I don’t remember anything else till we loaded back into Chez rock at 5 am.

Since I had the house to myself tonight…yup…you guessed it…..War movie frenzy.I think that I am the only 20 something rockchick that has a Vietnam vet trapped inside them….
Incoming!!!!!!!!!
Platoon / Hearts of Darkness /Apocalypse Now/ Full Metal jacket.
Bad mood just got worse,
Everyone came home.

Take shit from no man.
SF4L
Michele

Whiskey bottle,

Brand new car,
Oak tree your in my way….
-That Smell – Lynard Skynard.

Its not funny any more. Not that I am laughing. I was watching “The Godfather 2′” again Until I could hardly keep my eyes open and yet here I am At 5:06 in the morning right back where I started, The fucking sun in gonna be up any second. The human body is an amazing machine, it can go without food for-fucking-ever but after nine days with no sleep? Your dead in the water.

I wish that I could shut my brain down……What fucking brain?. Christ.

Wanna be in Mexico. Just there with no time limits. Don’t wanna own a watch.

You would hurl if you could see Me right now. Shovelling spaghetti into my cake hole cold outta the tin. A real bonafide charmer. Fuck it. Rock and roll only pays your ego, not the rent…Whoops! was that me telling the truth again?

I am meant to be sending Rossco all this stuff but as I can only get my head round this shit at such a crap hour the morning I am sure that he will let Me make it up to him tomorrow. He came round to pick up the case of beer that Mikey got him for helping him find a new car…that was the whole “Volvo” thing…Took Me a day or so but I get there in the end.

I gotta go out there this week. The B* almost has to frisk Me before we leave the house. That is how much I hate it. And to all have fallen to her charms? I know ,I know. I am the loud ugly one. She is the one that looks like she fell off a cloud. Ya’ll don’t have to keep reminding Me. I know how beautiful she is. Don’t be such chicken shits ! Go tell her……..

So, We will be seeing ya’ll in Newcastle this weekend with Fullscale. Score. Got told about it while the boys were rolling spliffs under the moon on the back stoop. Suits Me just the fuck fine. I just want to keep playing. Miss Karen made it up for the show…hardly got to see her but she looked happy enough and that was good enough for me. Thanx for all the letters that I am gonna answer once I stop talking crap here. It is such a still night. Wish that it would last longer……And a personal thank you to the 170 or so of ya’ll who made it to the show…..fuck you rock.

“Short Memory” Is one of the most brilliant songs. yup, you guessed right….”10-1″ Midnight Oil.
For Now…….

Kinda wish that I still drank till I remember what a bad drunk I was. Anything for a bit of quiet in the cranial region. I watch people drink. I never want to see myself like that. I just watch. Someone has to…. I would rather this than excuses. I would rather this because it is an identifiable enemy. Fine by me, I will lull it into a false sense of security and then frag the fuck out of it. Or it Me …….we will see…..stay tuned.

I flinch everytime the phone rings.
I have been listening to “Dirt” Over and over and I miss them as a band and him as a talent so bad. Thanks for sharing all your Kurt and Layne memories with me. I like to know that I am not the only fan boy in this whore of a city at 4 something in the morning who thinks about it and is permanently plugged in. Cold comfort…got the shits as my copy of “Bad motorfinger” spat it today. It is now gracing the roof of the neighbours house.

Over The ‘Oils…gimme a sec……

I know that it is a J.Lennon line and all.. but….”How do you sleep?”[ Theres one for ya Toddski……]

It avoids Me like the plague and then when I finally fall apart I wake up feeling worse than ever. But I guess if it is a choice between this and 9-5? I will take my chances…..Ahhhh…Iggy. How many times you have saved my broken ass….I am listening to a Cd that Miss Karen made last time we played the Arthouse in Melbourne. Nice mix! Right into Rage against the machine…sadly missed. Weird memory of being in Melbourne…’97’? I dunno…some club with Francis before he turned on Me…. and the Twins watching a RATM video on a big screen in black and white curled up on a brown sofa that stunk of beer…..

Mike is gonna be up to go to work soon. “Deanna” Nick Cave. Lived with a chick called Deanna once….I am raving now huh? Delux’s Birthday at the Ranch…….She wrote me a while ago…I didn’t answer. Got nothing left to say I guess. Sweet Kid.That place was a haven for fuckups and I took em’ all in….got a tattoo now that says “Mother to none”..Ok.So its internal but ya get the point..Live and learn.

I am so tired that I feel like a human bruise. So Soundgarden’s “Louder than love” it shall be…..Mr Cornell looks like a soccer mum now but he was once the finest hair farmer that Seattle had ever seen. I remember the 1st time that I ever saw the clip for “Jesus christ pose” and wanted to be that cool that bad. Still waiting but it was the thought that counted at the time. I still think that Kim Thayil is one of the most over looked axe miesters ever. That man was in possession of a sound defined a movement….Oh god! here comes the over tired inner fan boy again.

Excuse me for 6 sweet moments while I dive into the bliss that is “Hands all over”…………

To all that asked…I still have not washed the cammos but every thing I wore at the gig on Friday frogmarched its self downstairs and washed itself. Win some lose some….

Gonna head back upstairs and try and read myself under.Gonna hafta do “Loud love” 1st…I still think that they cribbed the opening riff off Enrico Morricones “The Mission”….Naw! fuck it! I am gonna watch “Heart of darkness” again.
You ever want to see how to follow a dream and what it will cost you? That is the movie that I recommend….

Welcome to all the new sikfuks who signed up. Your profiles are gonna be up ASAP…….

And no, I am not gonna tell you who I was dedicated ‘Damage’ to on Friday. I know that they will never know and even if they did would not care…..

SF4L
Michele.

Is it worth what it cost you?

Did you ever regain what it lost you?
Do you still carry that lack inside?
Do you still lie?

-M.Madden “Keloid”

I close my eyes I see static and fire……

All the arms that I have ever run to have betrayed Me.
Every fucking one…….
So I stopped running,
I was not getting anywhere I needed to be or wanted to go…..
And
I stopped wanting to be solved
I stopped caring
and
I
started fighting…….

I have theses dreams and I wake up sweating, fighting, defending myself. They don’t even qualify as dreams. I don’t know what the hell they are, but they would kill Me if they got half the chance. There are very few people that I would wish this affliction upon.[ Just a couple of deserving motherfuckers….] If I don’t talk it is because I don’t have the words to trancribe,to describe the flame covered vistas that I see even in my waking hours.

If I could tear my broken eyes out to make it stop at my lowest I truly believe that I would. Hell, it only takes 7 pounds of pressure to tear off a human ear…couple of eyeballs couldn’t be that hard. Right? My social graces are sorely lacking at this point in my life and if I said that I could bring myself to care I would be a liar.

I saw you there. You came and I need not tell you. You just know…I don’t have to walk you through the bullshit.Your radar works just fine. For you and for this I am grateful as I am to tired to baby-sit without getting paid for it. You will never know how necessary you are. No matter what the outside world wants you to believe. You are vital and together?……. Legion.

Sleep has been a rare and fleeting commodiity since Friday night. I woke up after 3 hours again. Wrapped around my baseball bat cursing all the stupid bovine fucks who can go into the long night and stay easy….

At least it lets me know that I am alive. Or just living…that changes from day to day…who can say huh? That is one way to look at it. I had a dream. Regretting punches that I did not throw. I looked down and there was half a bottle imbedded in my sternum. Neck sticking out. Pulsing with every beat of my black heart..The band was looking at me with unbiased disgust and I was screaming at them “Keep playing You Cunts!!!!” Cause all I knew was that if I pulled it out that it would really start to bleed and it would kill me and then my enemy….. ? The foe that had done this to me would win. All I could think was that I had to die in the field.

That would be my place.

That I had to win.Do I see it all like that? Yes. Can it torment a person?. On a bad day if you want to let it? Yes. Just another form of self abuse. Are you going to live under it or kill it? If you don’t kill it will kill you. It is that fucking simple and you can deal with it how ever the hell you want.

Subtle enemies. Small growths. Insidious cancers that come in the form of allies….

Do I trust anyone? No. Not even myself.

Most people wait to talk. I listen. I eavesdrop. I hear the way that they complain. About injustice. Lies dealt to them like an unlucky hand. it is one of the few times that you will see me smile. It is the easiest thing to fix yet……Ahhhhh, That’s right! They don’t want it gone? Noooooo! What would they have to complain about at the pub on a Friday nite while pissing their wages away for another week if they got off they fat corporate cocksucking asses and Fixed it ?

See me as a walking hate manifesto if you must .It will kill me before it even touches you so don’t sweat it. Just think about it….

A Sikfuk wrote me that she wants me to “Be Happy”. It was sweet, I mean that, but if I wanted that I would not be doing what I am doing. I would not be what I am. Happy? Happy to me is a lobotomy and I Prefer to garner my scars in more interesting fashions.

Happy is a band-aid on a bullet wound. It is a placebo to keep people in line. To keep them stupid and moving forward in an orderly fashion. There is no pot of gold. Do it now.

Thank you for your numbers and your belief. I cant see you but I feel you in waves. I know for damn sure that it is the only thing that is worth a fuck in my life. The pure thing….Bigger than Me. I like that. I like it a real lot.

Its the next day when your hurts hurt. I am covered in cuts and bruises. At least I am feeling something even if it is total anilitation and exhaustion. Mine. This is the cartology that matters to me. You are born with your skin. The roads? The rivers and marks? Well, They are up to you. You are a map of where you have been and every scar is another day, another gig ,another night, A battle won or lost. I want to die marked with the map of my personal experience. I could almost be proud of that…if I let myself.

But I wont. I don’t have time to stop.

I am numb away from pain and sound. Each of us is a tribe of one. None of us have any answers for each other but when I am crammed in there with ya’ll I get a little clarity, a little piece of mind.

And goddamn it but that will keep me low to the ground till next we all meet.Watch your back and stay true.
SF4L
Michele.

14/04/04

There is nothing noble about being superior to some other man. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous self.
-Hindustani proverb.

Touch Me.Im Sick.
-Mudhoney.

Lend me your ears and allow me to tell you age old tales of betrayal. What you see is what you get with me. Don’t play if you are gonna fuck around. I can only speak for myself but I, as I am sure quite a few of your fine selves, don’t have time to play “He said, she said….” Why ? Cause I, plain and simple just don’t give a shit. One strike? Your out. Nothing that you didn’t know so quit pissing and moaning and fuck off.

Blood calls…get back to your diluted strain and leave Me alone.
I was never one of your kind and I knew it from the start and even if I wanted to forget you never failed to remind me. This is your dessert. Bon appetite.
Eat it.

I can take alot….But push me too far?
I can hate you this much cause once upon a time you were my brother in arms.
Wipe that…I will save it for my dark hours…I give you my pity.

Don’t risk it. Not with me. You are the FNG. I don’t even wanna know your name….I can handle it. I kill and resurrect myself daily .Why damn! If I aint your garden variety Jesus H Christ of rock and roll with a cunt! [ Heavy on the sarcasm there my darlin’ sikfuks….] You are made of finer things. Weaker things. Civilian. Walk……….

You broke it…Tough shit.
Feel the lack,
Feel the lack of me ’cause I don’t look back unless that is where I am planing on goin’ and I aint…

Have woken up far too early for my liking so I am gonna sit here and type a bunch of cack handed drivel to the strains of the Shine. [ “Pure Dynamite” fact fiends….] I thought that we were jamming early and I was trying to get a gold star by being ready to roll….so here I am a dressed up, no place to go… but alas no…A bonus lurks though…We have got what I like to call “The Metallica suite” at Sound level. This room is fuckin’ Massive and I always feel like there should be a film crew and a towel roadie lurking round the corner….As Aerosmith would croon to my abused ears….”Dream On”…..

If I ever get my hands on the little dude who takes a dump in your mouth while you attempt to sleep through the day while the council mow the nature strip outside ones bedroom [ Grrrrrr!] I am gonna kill the little cunt!

Well! Tonite is the nite that we run the new stuff..[ “Remember the words Madden!…The WORDS!”]
Mikey just walked into the room muttering “Volvo,1976….” Said it before,say it again “Drummers….”
I cant wait to play…….

Thank ya’ll so much for all the profiles that you have been sending in!!!! Blew a load when I saw em’! Thought that I was gonna hafta dig Miss Shelia out from under the fast growing pile…and thank you Mr NYC….snigger. So, We have almost hit 100! Proud like your momma!

Sooooo….There will be a 1000 pristine copies of “Detestimony” invading the shores of Canada and North America real soon.Phew! Nothing happens, then bang! All over your shit like a rash… Gimme more! I would go on the road with a syphilitic tone deaf one legged triangle playing monkey at this point as the support act to get out of here right now…..but by fuck I am gonna miss ya’ll….but I didn’t hafta tell you that. You should know by now.

I am putting myself in a quasi-rank mood listening to QOTSA….cant believe that its all over….bummer in the summer. Glad that I was there before the shit hit the fan….. Got one of the old Bones Brigade videos on as well. Jesus! Tony H looks soooooo young. I will always fly the flag for Sir Tony Alva myself…sigh…my fave afro on 4 wheels.

Soundtrack “Dust’n’bones” Gunners.
Cool.

Tomorrow nite is gonna rock and the Support bands are solid action so get there early….Now got “Roadblock” By Pod People kickin’ my ass! They are at The Bat and Ball on the 23rd so be there is you like it loud and stoned. The spawn of Sabbath to be sure.

Gonna go and keep the sofa company for a while…..
SF4L.
Michele

Later,
14/4/04. 2;45 in the morning…..

Great and good are seldom the same.
-Thomas Fuller MD [1732]

Yeah,
Ive been hurt,
And I dont care….
-Iggy Pop.

I know that I am not going to sleep. I would give anything but I guess that this is just the way that it goes. I am feeling compelled to write. About what? Well, that we shall see.It was great you know….Big room Big sound,over tired drummer,video camera,new songs…..its all good.

So here I am home and hosed with my addled brain doing the minute mile. It is so difficult for Me to come down after being exposed to that much electricity. It twists me ugly. It is my one abiding and true love. I could not have picked a cruler mistress if I had tried.I sang so hard tonite that I felt my spial fluid drop right down the back of my neck…better than sex…better than anything I have ever known….

It is the only time I feel close to any kind of grace,any kind of beauty….so ugly that it becomes stunning?

That is why I do what I do. I dont think you really get a choice when it comes to things as raw as this.Wanker as I may be and it would not be the 1st time that I have been given the once over with that brush…. to my spatic self I am hanging with the Jimmy Morrison camp of shamanship on this one…There are whole Blocks of shows that I cant remember let alone describe and somthing tells me that that is exactly the way that it is ment to be.

It is not about standing there and looking the part…live it!!!!!.Christ! Ive got a head like a dropped pie! Fuck pretty! What ever you do? What ever you pick or as the case may be picks you ,do with it what you will with every folicle and fibre of your damaged being. We get so numb so easily. We are beaten down daily by airbrushed medioricty….I want sweat!
I want blood damn it!
I want no perfection so glairing that it becomes holy in its own right!

So stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

Why be this way? Why set myself up as a moving target? Why? Why the fuck not! as a wise man once burped over a schooner of New more likely than not….

My mother in all of her infinate wisdom once said “Pick somthing that you are good at and stick with it”

My forte seems to be A-1 shitstiring. Loudly.

Give it a few years and people will be kissing our trailblazing asses and it will be then with great aplomb and crystal clear dictaion that I shall tell them,ever so elequintly,mind, to, and I quote ” Eat the peanuts out of my shit.”

The guy at the fruit shop told me today that not only are the grapes really good but that it is better to be alone than in bad company [Although I think that Paul Rodgers may disagree….] I live near one fucking cool fruit shop. And he is right. Most of us have enough monkeys of our own.Why take on anyone elses.I skipped the grapes though…broke again.

I told Rossco that I was going up the river to find Kurtz after the Canada run.[ “The Horror! The Horror!” ]..well, surfing in Mexico to tell the truth.I am not as dumb as I look…I said it over the phone so he couldnt kick my ass….sigh…I guess that that will be filed in the “Later” folder of dreams. Hell even a week…..I would love to disapear…..Me, a couple of Irish wolfhounds [” Hanoi! Siagon! Here! ] a killer sound system and a big old Ford truck.
Hopefully the only people who would miss me would be due to their crappy markmanship and as little sentiment as possible.

All prefomers are raging twats. Ok. I will just speak for myself here as most would not admit it. I crave total alienation yet seem to want the whole world to watch. Why dont I just go and tilt at a fucking windmill while I am at it.

Jesus!….I mean re-ally.

To change the subject totally as you know by now I am quite prone to doing I fully recomend that you get into Frederic Chopin. [ 1810-1849] Nocturne in C-sharp minor is akin to complete bliss. The aural equivelent of being asked to join up with Ozzfest…well… for me anyway…..Serious beauty. Blinding.I find myself with my head thrown back,tendons creaking at the sheer power of it all. Try it sometime and you tell me.

Ok back to the total twat thing. You would not belive the way that musos conduct themselves in rehursal spaces…admittedly 999.9% of us are completely socially retarded but honestly…I wonder if some of these idiots were brought up or thrown up? Strutting round like they are back stage at a solo sold out show at Cobo Hall. Sheesh! Get a grip! You are in a cover band! You sing “Louie Louie” at sweet 16 parties…erm? ….Ground control to Majour Tom?….Awww! Forget it! Not that all of the last bit is bad mind [Ya gotta hear Iggy doin’ ‘Louie,Louie / Hang on sloopy” live…you will blow a load….fuckin’ perfection!] and I myself have had a hankering to start a Lynard Skynard cover band for many moons now….what I am trying to long windedly [ is that even a word???] get at here is pull your head out off your asses.

Ahhhh….I feel better after getting that off my chest.

The shit I get up to to avoid the abortion that is my dreads…..Unlike Jay from the mighty Flesh Mecanic…my locks are of the more feral vareity….a train crash of folicle disaster.The Hindenburg of hair…..

Just Got word from Larry M, my most fave guitar Tech that Incubus are now making their way through Germany and that he is going out for Mexican after the show tonite. That man could find a burrito on The plains of the Sarringetti, I shit you not. Finally got word from Gooch out in the dessert as well…Miss ya bro. Have a Dixie with Gil at Daisys for me OK? I need all the Nola vibe that I can get right now.

Gimme a sec…CD change and I am trying to keep it lo-fi so I get some sleep sometime soon…erm….so I guess that “Roots” is outta the question right?

Ok , Fuck it…The Melvins it is then.

I gotta tell ya’ll about my shorts. I totally grossed out the other 3 over sensitive members of my band by informing them that I had not washed my blue cammos since BDO.3 months for those who have a hard time with numbers. I was not wearing them at the time or else Ross wouldnt have let me in the van again. I feel that we went thru alot together, those shorts and I…it fair brings a tear to the eye… and that I now have to respect them as an independant life force with a personality of their own. And not wear them as they fucking reak but that is beside the point. They took me out for sushi last week. It was lovely. I wore them while swooning over Metallica for gods sake!!!! There is rock intwined in their very fibers!!!!…it would be criminal to wash them.All that rock magic so callusly rinced away into the sewers of Sydney! Punishable by death that should be!Writing while knackered should be as well…color me dead!

The rest of the band get a bit iffy and wont let me tour if I dont clean up my act…Big Girls blouses!

Ho-hum…Thats why incence,impulse and baby wipes were invented.Duh. Be a bit different if I had a bunch of slaves to bathe me and shit. Our bathroom at Chez Rock is a fucking disaster….almost fell out of the window that is so brillantly placed IN the shower. A very un-rock death to be sure. Unless I choked on a ham sandwhich on the way down or somthing. I am the biggest bloke in my band.Not that ya couldnt work that out already……

Raised by wolves remember?

Ask Ash about his new shit story if you run into him…Pure class…He is most happy to retell it constantly [3 times tonite] so you wont be putting him out…I starting laughing in the middle of “Faust” just thinking about it. Only Mannining would know someone who had crapped on livestock….

Gotta go to the bathroom ….the Melvins low end do me in every time.I am gonna sign out now and try and get some sleep.
Ha-de-Ha.
Later
SF4L
Michele.

Easter bloody long weekend..

… when all is closed but the 7-fucking-11…….
[ I have had 6 slurppees in the last 24 hours…I am pissing pure sugar….Thank you! come again….gack!]Everybody is so fulla shit…
-Janes Addiction.

I dont care if you dont want Me
’cause Im yours anyhow……
– Screamin’ Jay Hawkins.

Man is not man, but wolf to those he does not know…
-Plautus [ 3rd.c.Bc]

HOWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
-M.Madden 04′

I think that it feels great to feel your feelings hard ’cause at the end of it all maybe that is all you have…… As all readers of this esteemed drivel know I am about as cool as roadkill….Roadkill with the sars virus?. Being cool smokes cocks and it looks uncomfortable….. kinda like an emotional visible pantyline?…ahhhh! sweet digression!!! Where would I be without you?.

About here…
All the answers to life are contained in “Appetite for destruction” By Guns and Roses and do I look like I am trying to be fucking ironic? […Bumbles off .Tripping over shit that is not there,yelling at inanimate objects……muttering ” Fucking heathens…assholes….”]

Had a fucking brilliant time at The Annandale on Friday night Thanks once again to The Hard ons/ Front end loader/ Demolition High style…. Ta!…[ Big Pete K? The hardest working drummer in rock…G’on…Argue with Me! The man is a fucking machine!]… and as I was moshing myself into near dehydration with a brotherly arm thrown across my back by this really cool guy with a green mohawk who stuck his whole HEAD in the the monitor at one point [ Bless!] I felt the wholeness of not only the sonics but how RIGHT it feels to be able to adore something greater than the sum of all you are or will ever be. A perfect fucking moment.

And they are as rare as rocking horse shit as we all know…..

I love being in the flannel clad front line, I live to be a fan. Why the hell WOULDNT you want to be in the thick of it? You have the rest of your life to keep quiet.[ UNLESS YOU ARE ME…SNORT! ] I need more tea so hold on as I skank my way to the kitchen to the mighty Fishbone [ A sadly underrated band..They kinda got sucked under in the swell that the Red Hot Chillis left in their LA wake when they were still the rockin’…Anthony and co usta open for these guys!….check em out.] I am in a ska kinda mood….gotta be” Message to Rudy”…Wahhh!!!!! I am chilling to the best mix tape! I love The Specials.Wah! Dexys!!!”Jackie wilson says…”

Bugger it! I am gonna get up and do my stupid chicken dance in front of Mikeys kit!!!!.Who ,by the way is freaking me out at the moment with his decorating ideas, He has shaved his head again…always a stormy sign….wants everthing out of the house ‘cept his kit…I think this includes me as well…a bit creepy to be sure….. but…. fuckin’ drummers man? What are ya gonna do?

We gotta jam tonite so best I wake up….. I think that what I am attempting to say [Going back to what I started with….pft!….I really suck at staying on one subject….] is that being a fan is a rare and fragile state of grace. If it lasts a single or a 50 album back catalogue.So be it….for that one precise moment? Well, you know the rest… At 3am its all you got except for the suicide help line.

I know that I am not the only person who has a 24 hour soundtrack running in their head…..sans discman….

I would rather be Jack Black in “High Fidelity” than Jennifer Annersion in “Friends” if you are surfin’ my wave here……

CD change hold on…..All Ska’d out.!.

NWA!!!!! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So there I was…Pit happy and so were all the people round me and I dont know what it is…could be some kind of zen state that there is no word for..or you can make a word up…I am quite fond of doing that……but it is so fucking Palpitable! So there!!!! When I am being cocky [ “Madden! My office NOW!!!] I dig saying that ” If it dont make me wanna fuck, fight or do my body weight narcotics then its heading for beer coaster territory…” [ not that anyone ever listens to me when I am doing one of my 3 hour desertions on “Funhouse” ‘cept maybe Blackie…heh…]

But even that is shit to a degree…All of it is valid in one way or another…legal aural drugs that dont make every pig within a fifty mile radius wanna whip out the plastic gloves…. and it gets you there…..Highly addictive and leaves track marks all over your heart. [ AND ITS FUCKING LEGAL! YES!!!!! ].. or what ever you have got residing in that ribcage of yours…….

To whit…..I have just listened to “The End” by The Doors 4 times in a row…pathetic huh?
NO!

Fans are always standing outside. We have our noses pressed up against the glass of the window of the house of “WAHHHHHHHHH” [ Ya gotta imagine Iggy doin’ that at the beginning of “TV eye” track 3 on “Funhouse” 4 min 17 sec….] that rock built and do ya wanna know somthing? It feels great and speaking for my most unruly self I would not have it any other way.

Just got an E mail from the force of nature that is Miss Sheila. 50 profiles up!Wahhhhhh! Big girlie boner! Thank ya’ll so fuckin’ much. Keep roping in your friends and be deserving of my eternal gratitute….Welcome to JC and the Kansas Sikfuk family.Well AllllllRight!

Delux is working his skinny yet oddly appealing butt off and we all have callusus from typing too much [Well, that is my excuse and I am stickin’ to it….snigger….] but it is cool knowing that Tourettes is spreading like cancer! Looking forward to the 16th. Mikey showed Me the set list the other nite and half of it is new songs. Hope I dont fuck up too bad! I keep changing the names of the tracks…and the I am not even gonna tell ya some of the things that my boys call them!….so please be patient with me.Or not…up to you!

So….. I guess that I will write before then….. but I will catch ya on the 16th.

Easter? Wadda ya fuckin’ want? Have a fuckin’ egg……
Later
SF4L.
Michele.

And I swear that I dont have a gun…..

-K.Cobain.
[File that under ” Yeah, sure buddy”.]

Burn the witch
The witch is dead
Burn the witch….
But bring me back her head.
-C.Love

Where were you?
Kinda like when people talk about JFK…[ I was on the grassy knoll if you give a shit…]
With Me it was the phone calls.That was the memory that I run with I guess… At that point in my life, my clockwork moves apon falling out of bed, was to hit the bodega under my apartment…”2.5 lt of coke. 1 Packet of Malboro reds and chocolate please”…healthy huh..Then back to the darkened cess pit that constituted my room till the sun set to chain smoke and write drivel and listen to music so loud that the deaf guy upstairs would bang on his floor. Just another day at the office right? Oh female Hunter S wannabe?Far fucking from it….
The light was dancing on my machine but I thought that it could wait. On with the bathrobe and sunglasses and out…and there it was.On the front of every paper. Dead at 27 just like the rest of em..17 messages on my machine telling me the bad news….

And here we are 10 years later. How the fuck THAT ever transpired I will never know. I think that I am still 14 smoking bad weed,on bad speed in the back of cars going nowhere….. but that is a whole other story.

Interesting how the whole world is looking at the good Widow Cobain dontcha think? … waiting with morbid wet glee to see what she does next. I dont give a fuck how far the world thinks that it has has come….Strong women? The real ones? And you and I both know that there are not many who will go all the way, so few willing to go that far, are wanted dead. Oh save it! If you are Keith Richards you get a medal for pulling a tenth of the shit that she does.

Vale Courtney! Hola! Says Me!
I think that she is great and I hope that she is gonna get over this horrible time and continue to go on and piss off the masses.

So? can I blame this bad mood of mine on the Kurtster? Hell, why not?…. Nanda came up with a good one….You will spot us down at Bondi. Sitting on the roof of her car, watching the sun set playing ‘Bleach” and raising blunts, 40oz’s and my very shitty guitar to the memory of one fucked up junkie angel who managed to change the world.

You Mr C along with many of the greats are missed.

I feel more of a kinship with the people whos music has changed my life than the people that I know. Got a great cabdriver tonite. He interjected “Fuck” 53 times into general conversation from Elizabeth bay to Newtown. Impressive to say the least. Almost made Moi look like a novice.

Ash had to put up with me being totally shit today.Poor cunt. Soooo much going on and I guess that we are all fully concious of the great Australian tradition of al-most getting the brass ring and then fucking it all up in the 11th hour due to an un-addmitted fear….People are not afraid of failing. They are afraid of success. Success brings change and with change comes the unknown and as we all know from too many Scooby Doo re-runs No one digs being spooked. I think that what I ment to say…hold on…ha! Got it! Change! people are shit scared of leaving their controled rat cages in case they get hung out to dry by their peers and so on….but I still stand by sketchy Scooby doo thing even if it doesnt make any sense.

What kinda sense are you after! Its 6 in the morning!

RIP too many great bands that have gone the way of the wolley mammoth. Far too many to name here. You know that all the bands that we started out with have split up? No shit…that there is some spooky action.

Before I forget. Kim SF? Thanks for the letter…I am making my way through about 10 fucking books at the same time but the stand outs are “Planet Joe” By Joe Cole who was Rollins best friend.[ RIP] It is a tour journel and very voyeristicly engrossing [” Madden! You literary perve!”] and “The Complete works of William Blake” Cause sometimes I like to make believe that I am smart. Heavy shit and a tad to religious at times but some of it is gold. Check it out…What do ya do for fun up in Brisvegas anyway or is it best not to ask…..

As was written by my very worshipped F.Scott Fitzgearld…” And So we beat on…”

What else are you gonna do? Really? Laser off my ink and sell used cars? I am gonna follow in the footsteps of the aformentioned great shits of rock. I am gonna keep going…Tooo many people to piss off and more people that I ever hoped for getting what we are all about.

Oh Melbourne Sikfuks please forgive us…. You have got no idea how much I wanted to be there with you and we will get there as soon as we can. You know as well as I that on this fucked up island that medoricty rules and we are broke assed dirty punks! If Ross got an afro and did a cover of that hell revolting “Angels brought me a beer” song do ya think that we would make any cash? Just an idea.Again to Big Mike V and Miss Susan and all the crew…I am so sorry. Dont give up on me yet……

Following the great tradition of watching Rage on a friday nite…Riddle me this sports fans? Why is everyone playing the same sloppy Stooges rip offs [Man! They wish that they had a zillinth of that Michigan magic!!!] through Vox Amps and strutting round with record deals….Conspirisay theories abound…mostly to do with gay sex and dotted lines….

I shit you not…I have just heard the same song 23 times! And why has no one [Ie :Iggy and or Bowie and or for that matter the crazed genious that we know as Brian Eno…Argh! Footnote..”Needle in the Camels eye” is a Glam classic!…sorry! got excited.] sued Jet for ripping off “Lust for life” when George Harrison [Rip] Had to pay out the Chiffons a fucking packet because the chords of “Hes so fine” and “My sweet Lord” were too close? Hmmmm?
And another question…. why the fuck do I know these things!?

[” Because you have no friends and are a totally uncool over read fan boy”]

Oh yeah! Thats right!

[God? Lester Bangs even??? Was that You??#@!]

That is the 64 thouand dollar question tonite.

Write Me cause I dig it and dont get none on ya.
Thanx for the memories Nirvana….
SF4L.
Michele

some crapola net cafe……

Fuck you you fuckin’ Fuck!
-Age old saying that I seem to be flinging round a little too much at the moment……

I am all rocked out I had a rather massive weekend but I dont wanna incriminate myself and I am too tired to write….

The ones that you love are the last ones you will see. They will be the ones to kill you. Draw your own conclusions.

Had to laugh at Incubus show watcing the pit… Not at the band…I love those guys! But at some of the clueless fuckfaces who turned up to see them play…So good to catch up with the Boys again. The crowd so wrapped up in the vibe….dont make me sick!!!. Half of those meat heads went back to school yesterday to kick the shit out of the kid who is gonna grow up to be the next Brandon Boyd.

All of them in their General pants Identikit outfits….So very…!!!!…So original.!!!I love this “Metrosexual” angle…Thugs dressing like the faggots that they beat the snot out of….Let us all go now and file that under “Irony.”

I am way Tired and doing alot of road work so the mood is not at any kind of premium as I pay to write.

The computer at Chez rock fially spat it so here I am surrounded by the scum of the earth pretending that they are not “Really..” looking at kiddy porn. Its the training that does it…the more I run and the more weight I press? The meaner I get.

I gotta throw out a few thanx to all who rocked with me….The B*.Greg, Cheers for the tix. All the boys from Seven dust [ Clint? if we got a divorce would we still be brother and sister…?] Lj, Morgan…Jose? You drum on man! Dana, Nicole [ happy birthday] ,Ted [“Thats the thing that I love about these high school girls man…..”] Larry, as always sooo fucking good to see you….hope you coped with NZ…Sean…Tech supreme…and that is comming from your Soda pop Curtis.

Thanx to the ladeezz at FbI who let me play Blooduster last friday.Always a pleasure….

This is not gonna make a whole heap of sense.

Whats new right?

My Sunday? Dont make me laugh…
I am out cause this mood is just wrong…I am gonna go smash up a phone box or somthing.
The new shit sounds great. I wish I felt it…..

SF4L
Michele

Do you think that you will always be famous?

No, But we will always remember us.
– Nigel Tufnel 1985.

God will not look you over for medals, degrees and diplomas, but for scars!
-Elbert Hubbard 1927.

Looks like I got me a ring side seat to the resurection then dont it?Think I will be washing my hair that day……….

Oh HO! Have I ever told you guys what a spoilt snot I am? hmmmm? [ Like you couldnt work it out???] Nope! Didnt think so…. I am getting all G’d up as the infamous B* and myself prepare to rock the fuck out this comming week-end. Nothing like a backstage pass to put a smile on my dile. Thank you Larry. You rule!

Hey Louise! Yeah…I remember all those spacy emails that you wrote me so thanx for writing about The Rolling Stone thing…Thanx To EVERY one who has written me about that!!!!. Jason? You are the 1st person to get me to sign somthing like that…you got me to swoon!!! I am blushing. Well…not blushing per say…just smiling in the midst of a low grade freak out?…yeah! that sounds about right!

Anyone who tells you that all this “…Is a drag and I want to be alone and wawawawawawawa…ect”? Is totally fulla shit and should have a cow prod forcefully inserted in them.
Lying cunts!

Weddings freak me out. I have to much time on my hands to think about shit like this……you are legally obligated to like someone!@!##. Have I got this right?? I am so fucking tired I would have a hard time telling my ass from a hole in the ground right now to tell the truth ‘cept my ass is most likely bigger.It is early as all shit cause Mikey just fell down the stairs to go to work and I can hear him fuck asssing round in the kitchen making his school lunch. Soooo sweet. The B star is passed out next to the guitar that Wonjo gave me upstairs…I will try and get a photo, looks sooo sweet. She has got me so well trained on the “Get me Snickers or dont bother comming home front” Spooky.

Note to self; Do note use the word “Wart” in a wedding speech.

Listening to all the new stuff and doing the ‘Wembly” effect. What?! You dont know about the “Wembly” effect? Get outta here!!! Surely you jest? Its known as the “Cobo hall” affect if you reside in the USA. If you do it right it can take HOURS but that includes all the rigging and lighting and we dont have the time to go into it here..Lemme tell ya…there has been many a time people have thought that I was doing sweet fuck all lying on the sofa, eyes half mast, snoring gently…but little did they know of the seething HIVE of Mega watt activitity taking place in my rock addled cranium!

No sleep till bloody Hammersmith indeed Sir Lemmy!

I am geek enough to admit this…the “Wembly/ Cobo hall” effect is when you play the show to finish all shows in your imagination. Pyros?, flash pots?, Chicks in cages?, spinning drum kits?!!!…Check,check.check and CHECK! WHY THE HELL NOT!!!! Fuck it man!!! It rules!!!! That is what I have been doin’ with all the new songs….imagining what they are gonna feel like up there.[ “HELLLLLLOOOOOO CLEVELAND!@!%!!!!!” ] You are talking to a woman who has played to 2 people and a dog after 6 cowpunk bands at a beer barn in Bris Vegas….and lived…Fuck it man! Think big!!!

Its my brain and I can do what I want up there!

back to thinking big……….

Which, by the way, is what I think my AWOL Guitar god is up to at the moment. He said somthing about writing, and I quote ” More Crunchy riffs babe ,gimme a week….” and the last I saw he was conspiring with Crusty camera boy ace video director Matt by the toilets at the last Annandale show and now all I know is that I have got to sing under water!!…Very “Titanic” that dontcha think??? I am gonna freeze my fucking tits off!

Ahhh! Rock and roll! Its my life! its my wife! Who said that?…mind failing…Shit! One holiday and the boy is back and kicking ass! Rossco! Wooooo! I am like you SF’s ,meaning that I tend to find out about every-fucking-thing through the site. Gigs ahoy! Gimme gimme gimmme!

I am gonna go and try and get some sleep.Keep the imput a-rollin’ cause I dig it!Thanks to all who wrote me about Martin..Aim all your good vibes at Auckland NZ ok? They really need it out there. Go see the mans work at www.illicit.com.nz He was and is a master.

I remain….
SF4L
Michele

21/03/04

“Hey Lady! Have you ever had your asshole licked by a fat dude in a trench coat?”
-Jay.

You never know what is enough unlesss you know what is more than enough.
-Willam Blake [1790]

Ross, You rule for putting up with me sending you all this beligerant missspelt drivel. I salute you.
– Me ,Tonite.

Godamn!!!!…. finding a cure for Suday-its is up there with “The check is in the mail” or “I wont come in your mouth” All in all what I am telling you is it is a lie.

My ass is wearing a groove in the hardwood floor in our living room and I just lie there looking at the plaster work on the cealing. The B* and myself declared that today is “National blunt day”….she looks so cute passed out on the sofa….I am always “Blunt” so to speak so its just another day at the office for me…Got word that Uncle Larry and Miss Cassie are raising hell in Melbourne on the Incubus tour and I was woken up this afternoon by one very timid drummer to fall down the stairs to sign bits of paper with all the band here. Me in my stained Tyler Durdin robe and the bootleg Slayer t shirt and track pants that I sleep in.Sexy non? I think that there are birds nesting in my dreads and when pray tell when did Jack Black become so unbarably sexy? see? Fuckin’ sundays man…First the Catholics go and ruin it and then I get struck down by a malaise that I am making up just cause I cant be assed to do anything.

Oh man…Make that “Dread” non plural dig?

There are a few of you sikfuks who would give a kidney to be listening to what is blaring through my head set right now….Final cut Pro pro my darlins’!!! YEAH!!!! and just as I predicted all the shit that I love the band hate. Look, I want you to tell me cause we are gonna roll these babys out real soon… hopefully but dont hold me to it,at the next show which by the way is gonna rule. The new singer for the most Stellar Flesh Mechanich is one Jessi Merdoch and I have said it before, this is one of the best metal voices you are ever gonna hear so you are a total cock smoker if you dont make it there early. Not only that but the opening band One shot kill? Lead by Gaz ther dreadlocked terror are killer as well. Just fuckin’ be there allright and none of this “Dog ate my home work” shit eather.

Lotta dread action on stage that night…could go into a free for Bob Marley jam….
“I WANNA LOVE YA…LOVE AND…” …Lets just move on shall we?

Damn…Two of my best friends just got married. I did that once and failed. Dont think that it was him. Hell no man! It was Me. I said that it was a long shot and I was right. Look. The way I see it is some people are “Hopeless romantics” and some are “Useless Romantics” Lets just say that I file myself under the latter.

IF that! I just get spastic bowel clenching crushes.

Watched all the “Revenge of the nerds” movies tonite. “Police Acacdemy ” Next week! Thats Right !! We are swingin’ like a gate at Chez rock. See ya’ll thought that it was lear jets and coke huh? Sorry to bust ya bubbles….As my friends the Shine say “hookers and taxis” and that is poetry.

If you have not checked out “Feind” magizine yet you need a good kick up the quoit. Miss Alexx and her fearless team are breaking their goth balls to give you dark spooky kids a rag of your own so get out there and get it.

End of add.
Fuck ya’s….

I dunno if you who read this have a big bunch of people that ya hang with….I dont. But I am doin’ that thing again…that culling thing…. shit…..Moving targets…To digress…All these new songs are about or for specific people! Aint that a thing! I know that they wont work it out…that or the wrong people will claim songs that dont have a damn thing thing to do with them….but to all devoted to the art of 6 string wankerey are gonna need a clean up commettee after hearing this lot. Mr Ash Manning has outdone himeself on the fretboard jack off .And it Rules! The last time I delt with this many solos was that live G’nR thing at Wembley when Slash was fried on mexican and tried to go the Peter Frampton route. Funny shit is I still dont… We still dont know what is gonna make the album till we run it past yall…no shit. There was so much stuff we cut last run cause it did not feel right live.

Or one of you Sf’s told me sucked dogs….You guys SO fuckin’ rule.

All I know is that I got alot more writing in me before we blow this burg. Miss S sent me a snippet of what she is doing with all my photos…Oh man!! It is gonna look so good and if any one has got any incriminating photos of us out on the road feel free to send em’ to her at www.sikfuks.com It all adds up and helps my fried,tired brain to remember what we have done and been.

Look like we got a home town show comming up. We finally get to play with Pod. Cool. On my old stomping ground…remember? The one that I siad that I would never go back to?…hehehehe…. Besides that you aint gonna see me for dust. Did I ever tell ya’ll that “Children of the corn ” theory I have got about that place’? It is alot more solid that My “Starwars is an intergalactic gay love triliogy” Which, by the way got a boyfriend so pissed off that he dumped me. Truth hurts.Hans wanted Luke and Leia was a fag hag… fell free to ask Me about this….. pop quiz….

I have got far too much time on my hands and Ash keeps telling me that he is gonna get me the BDO footage. Yeah…on my death bed. Looks like the amazing filmclip machine is gonna be swinging back into action. Cool. Matt and Matt are gonna style it [natch!] Me in a dress!!..Wet!! Snort! last time I wore a dress? Shudder! but this is gonna be cool! Underwater filming! Yey! jail cell!! I am never happy untill there is blood in there so I am gonna hafta work that into the story when no one is looking.

Nice to have Rossco back again. He looks at me like somthing that a cat coughed up but ya can even grow to miss that after a while. At least he is off the shitter. He and Ash went to a wedding today. Ash is a pisser. He always walks up to the bride and doom [and no,that was not a spelling mistake. ] And offers his “Condolances”. Love that shit. He was late to mine. No one is ever gonna get that one down the aisle. Moi? Again? File that under fuck no. I cant even be fucked with a relationship outside my band.

I got this theory that the one you want never wants you anyway so why bother?. Just write a heap of down tuned songs complaining about it. Emosexuls man! Emo screamo!! bahahaha!!! Ok, sure beating off gets a bit boring after the fact but lets look at the “Smiley happy ” altertive shall we? NOT! Everyone I know in a relationship is sucidal and paying shit off. Yey! Sex and a new sofa. Hola! An overdraft!! Woooo!
Eugh!
Pl-ease!

Someone once said to me that”…no one would want to be Mr/Ms Michele anyway…” Good fuckin’ point that. Good and sharp. Gimme all that truth! Fuck B* looks cute! She snores like a kitten. I snore like a mac truck going into 3rd gear on a hill.

I left the sad shit till last. I want to send my condolences to the many friends and family of one very talented and much missed Martin “Fuckin'” Emond who passed away suddenly in Hollywood this week. His artwork and Clothing through His label “Illicit” Inspired and touched many people including myself and the B* the world over. His comic book “Whittrash” Ruled so totally. His work was untouchable and he will be so missed.RIP.

I shit you not but the “Unplugged” sessions start here next week end. If I was not such a fucking athiest I would ask god to have mercy on us all. Well. Mostly on the neigbours.B* Says “Mostly” like Nute the little girl of “Aliens” and it cracks me up…
See! Small things do amuse small minds…
Oh Man…
One more movie then bed…….
The sun is gonna be up soon…Pft!.
SF4L.
Michele.
Ps. Gabba Gabba hey.