Heya sickfucks!!!

Wooooo!

Born ready lemme tell ya! Come 7 friday morning we will be on the road to destroy ear canals and break hearts in Melbourne.

Ash has already called shotgun and I couldnt give less of a shit as I am gonna be passed out next to Rosses bass rig listening to the best of Johnny Cash, Lynard Skynard and COC for starters.I have lit many a candle this week for the most amazing June Carter Cash. May her amazing self R.I.P. Like the Man in Black even knows who the FUCK i am but I am sending him all the good vibes that I can muster at this point.

Educate yourself,There are some amazing books written about the man.Thanks for keeping all the e-mails rolling in, Talking to you guys and answering all your questions is always the highlight of my sleepless mornings.Still cant wait to start recording again, Miss Emma, The Sharon osbourne of Australia has been booking us left right and center! How’s this for the best news to wake up to.I fall outta bed today to be told that We are playing the mighty Espy In Melbourne on my birthday! Details as always,are skechy as all but I will keep you well informed.Oh God!

The reality of being stuck in a van w/my band for 13 hours has just hit me. If you hold with religion ,pray for me or just start a bail fund. And while your at it sign the goddamn guest book as well!.Soooo what else is goin’ on…lota good press stuff and amazing feedback from the launch…FUCK YOU IF YOU DIDNT TURN UP! HA!…The most cool Capt A and his ladylove Michelle have decided to make it legal on the 4th of July next year![….Can I be best man or man of the match or what ever the fuck its called???? Can I???]….The filmclips are being edited,Two of my Top sickfucks are out there spreading the word..[Cheers Skot and Aimee…] And I sunk 5 balls off the break at The Town hall after the Miz Ann Thropic and Tito And The Pearl Birds show at The Annandale on Saturday nite…I know! Little Miss Hank Rollins Anti social out???!@#$!!! Will wonders ever fucking cease!

Two reasons…1] It was a killer show and 2]My sonic big brother Blackie is FINAlly home after the Hard-Ons Kicked the SHIT outta Europe! Yup! That was enough to get me off my fat ass!!! Have you been busting The BDO Forum for Me? Hmmmmmm? And The ten points go to The most Amazing Toddski In New York For Naming “Sweat loaf” by the Butthole surfers last week ….yup! You Are the man! Ok Smart asses and trivia fiends…try this one on for size……Who was the lead siner of The Germs and how did he die?….extra points if you can tell me how his body was found.I really should get a hobby huh!
I write after the Show at the Tote on Sat Nite!!!
Dont get none on ya!
Michele.

Hey crew…. first up why dont you go sign the Tourettes guestbook

I have hit the low that follows tearing the Annandale a new asshole! WOOOOO-WEEEE!!!.To be expected. Doesnt matter though,I got PLENTY to keep me busy.

1st;I am gonna stage a hunger strike in the lobby of Lees and West.Yup,you heard me,I figure that it is the only way I am gonna get What I want…and what might that be I hear you ask? Read on…..So,tell me, Do those Names ring a bell? Well they should as they have given us the Big Day Out for all these years and I figure now that it has been confirmed that the mighty METALLICA are gonna headline [WAHHHHHH!!!!]BDO 04′ well,they are gonna give some local metal a chance right??? RIGHT!!!!@%^@^#^&!!! Makes perfect sense to me. Im not just talking about Tourettes…..Oh Man, Cant you just SEE it…bands with BALLS!!! Well What then!?Yeah..METALLICA AND…..THE WAIFS…! Oh sign me up for that show! Pl-uease!!!

Why dont you go to the BDO forum and tell them what bands you want. Big Day Out Forum
I had a chance to catch up with one M. Webster, All round Bass God From Daysend today..They have just been busting their hump to play shows all over this great brown land…war stories…lets just say that Bon Scott was telling it how it is in “Its a long way to the top”…[and if you DONT for some fucking stupid reason that I CANNOT fathom own a copy of “T-N-T” by AC/DC,first, go outside and give yourself an upper cut and then go and get it!! It is a lifechanging album!]…ahem…I digress…What I am trying to say is PUT SOME HARD ASSED LOCAL TALENT ON THE BILL!!!! What? Name names? No problemo! TOURETTES FOR STARTERS THANX VERY MUCH!!! Contrive, Earth, Daysend, Bloodduster, Pod People, Forte, Jerk,…and there ARE more but cut me some slack as my insomnia is kicking the bejesus out of me and it is some rageingly[ is that even a word?] stupid hour of the morning…Hell,I am a fan to the death! I am like you, I buy Blunt and Kerrang![…How cool is THAT! Not one but TWO Australian Mag’s fulla the music WE love] every month,I pick up Drum and Brag every week and there is soooo much going ON!!!…And give me a reason why not? I dont know one person in a band who doesnt work day and night[‘cept for a few dole bludging stoners who I adore anyway!] to keep it all rolling, You do some crap job all day and then spend all your money on getting your music out there…its almost pay to play..I dont give a shit about that cause if we didnt want to do it we wouldnt,the point is they tell you that you need time in the country, a record deal.blahblahhhh..man! Half of the promoters keep you chasing your own ass so the rather long winded point I am getting at is…more local HARD stuff on BIG DAY OUT 04’.

Oh man…there are some industry hacks [and you KNOW who you are] that shall remain nameless who dont Ever wanna run into me in a dark alley! I am over all this closed minded tall poppy bullshit…The tales I could tell you about the shows we and sooo many other bands have lost cause they couldnt label us..”Sure,you sound like Tool/Pantera what ever,sure we will rep/book you” HA! Take chances…keep going to see bands that you have never heard of…..Remember,Seattle was just another town once…….It is the swell of people that make it tangible..Wear your musical heart on your sleave…be a fan.IT RULES! And pay to get in,even if you are mates with the band,it dont matter.Look, Seeing all the sickfucks come out in force ,on a shitty Thursday night no less,really lit a fire under my butt. Write to the street press,Do a ‘zine, A web page that gets you out there,just get your point across cause no matter what they tell you, life is far to LONG to have any regrets about the shit that you didnt say or do when you were able..Stand and be counted or fuck off. It really IS that black and white. As I am almost at fall over point I will leave you with the immortal words of the most amazing Butthole Surfers……………..[Gibby,Je’te ami..sigh!]
“DAD? WHAT DOES REGRET MEAN?…..WELL SON,IT IS BETTER TO REGRET SOMTHING YOU HAVE DONE THAN SOMTHING YOU HAVENT DONE…OH,AND BY THE WAY IF YOU SEE YOUR MOM THIS WEEK-END ?BE SURE AND TELL HER SATAN!SATAN!SATAN!!!!!!!”
I think there is somthing in that for all of us.Now..what does one wear to a to a hunger strike to get their band on BDO?????? A wifebeater,shorts that I Nicked on the last Sepult….ahem……and a Cowboy hat! Sorted! Till next we meet,keep the mail rolling and get busy!
Ps.10 points if you can name the song!
Thanx for listening…
Dont let em’ fuck with your inner peace.
Michele.

You Blew My Mind!!!

I am still high on all the energy that you gave us…..Trust Me when I tell you that i am Not rendered speachless very often but…..YOU RULE!!!!!!I KNEW that you wouldnt let us down!GOD! #@$@%FUCK! That was one of the best shows I have ever had the honnor of playing for you Sickfucks!@!#@!!!!!….You re-instored my faith in our fatally wounded but still gasping Sydney scene.I hope that ya got to catch Japunga and Neo-ezi who NEVER fail to slay me,awww,sue me! You guys know that I am still the Mega fan.!.They were great huh!Thanx for all the mail that I have been answering all day![They hate me at this net cafe!I mustnt be the kind of “Clientele” that they are soooo hot for.Fuck ’em!]Your support is what keeps my head above the fetid water that we ALL hafta make our way thru each day.I am lucky enough[…and NEVER think that I dont know how fuckin’ lucky I am !] to have my music,My band and you Guys!!!speaking of the Band….HOW GREAT WERE THEY!!!!!!God-damn!I told ya!!Didnt I!!When I was up on the bar it was cool as ALL for me ’cause I got to see what you Guys see!!If I didnt get to catch up with you ,I am sooo sorry,it was a blur in the end and please never think that I am ignoring you!!!!! As the more Seasoned Sickfucks out there know most of the time i am too vain to wear my glasses!!!Sooo I can only see about a meter in front of me IF that,on a good day! But what I saw I LOVED!!!!just the thought of those Tourettes knickers being pealed off in a fog of rocklust…WOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!! I am not gonna name names in this update ’cause i dont want to leave anyone out…But I want you to know if you were there you have my Thanx and gratitude and that goes for the rest of the band as well.You made it great for us………Now onward and upward!!!!…..On july 12th We will be rockin’ The Tote in Melbourne with one of my Fave bands and some of my oldest mates ,the mighty Contrive.contrive.com.au
You have got to check these boys out they are unrelenting!Thanx Boys!….its gonna be tooo cool to recruite more of you!!!!!There is talk of a show with Bloodduster..[Michele..”ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”]..But you know that I will keep ya’ll posted as it happens….Write and tell me what you thought of the new stuff as your opinion is the only one that I give a rats ass about! I wanna know what you think of “Detestimony”…Hell just write if ya feel like it.I dont give a fuck!..Ash will have me back in the studio as soon as we come back from Melbourne and for a change I am really looking foward to it as i have been on a real writing binge of late…it always feels better the more you do it.Like jerking off..[“Get ya hand off it Madden…”]
I gotta get gone but before I jet…THANX TO ALL THE SICKFUCKS!!!YOU ARE THE GREATEST FANS IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!
And this to my Boys…Ash,Ross and Mike,Thank you for making it come true….You are the best part of me…I remain forever in your debt….. My brothers.
Stay sick.Stay angry.
Michele.
[Drained and thankful!]

Hey crew!

All fun,games and stress at the tourettes camp! Me and Mike did a well cool interview w/Tin Tinn at HHH on the weekend[Thats 100.1fm sunday nites,he plays heaps of really cool local stuff so check it out….] As always I talked a heap of crap and Mike showed me up by being tooo cool.It is the quiet ones that you hafta watch.I Just got back from doing an interview w/Ross at the most awsome “Blunt” Magazine w/the mighty Matt Reike and his super fly pornstar ‘tash![…I think it looks cool Matt,No shit!]Ross has taken to calling himself the”Tonia toddman of rock” which in itself brings a pretty scary picture to mind! He has been going off making ALL our merch…the man is a machine! I just hope that Matt destroys the tape! It turned into a mockfest at the end fueled by wank stories [..ahem…that would be moi…] involving…well,it doesnt matter ….so then I blabbed about how Ross…well….Like I said.TRASH THE TAPE!!!![tee-hee!] Man!I have been snowed under this week but thanx to all who have written to me getting me all Hyped up for the show![…Big ups to Skot,long time no hear! Thanx for getting the word out there,Stu the pocket-rocket,Lez and Jo the coolest fans making their way up from the A.C.T for the show and Death for getting me to the doctors and all the other cool shit that she does for me!,Blackie writing me from London where The Hard-ons are delivering their usual brand of search and destroy…missya….]Sooooo,You cant make it to the show? Down load our new song “Stand”….We thought it was about time that we gave somthing back to ya’ll! Write me and tell me what you think…..I also got to have a mega cool catch up chat with Mr Rod Yates at the home of Metal,”Kerrang!”…He has just come off the road himself so as you can imagine Mucho goss was exchanged! Thanx for the support Big guy! You rule! Rod always asks me questions that I love to answer…I ramble on tooo much which is what I am doing now!!! So by your leave,you sickfucks, I gotta go and jam with the best band in the world..MINE!!!!!!!!.FUCKKKK!!!!I,we will see ya’ll on thursday nite!!!!YESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!
Dont let the fools fuck with you.
Michele.
Ps…Thanx Sis xoxoxoxo

You are the fucking GREATEST!!!

Thanx for all the get well letters and support!You amaze me all the time![Sara.B,I will get my tooth done before the show,thanx 4 giving a shite!]I think tooooo much…..I got you guys and then I go out into the world and have to deal with these civillians.[…I know that you know what I mean….]You guys are the only thing that keeps me from sticking a hand grenade up my ass and pulling the pin in the pit at a Creed show!!!!Ohhhhhh!
The Tattoos are amazing!!!BIG thanx to Mr Adam Craft,healing well and looking ROARRRRRRRRR!!!!![..thanx 4 asking Capt.A!]We, [The band] had a KILLER jam at Soundlevel on the weekend…The boys are sounding amazing…I just sit on the floor and watch ’em go,then I remember that I am ment to be singing! Ross has a new bass rig that is sooooo hard! REAL Geezer B,hits right below the belt… ,Mikey has been taking his Vinny Paul pills,I swear!!! The double kick action on the new stuff is shit hot and he NAILS it!!! Its his Birthday on Fri the 13th so if ya see him say hey! And Ash is blowing our minds! He is wanting to write more but I want to throw all of our energy into putting the best show on for you guys on the 26th…He is cool w/that…THEN he will break my ass!!!!I cant WAIT till you guys hear this shit! WOOOO! Keep the mail comming,as I love hearing what you guys are up to.Stops me from climbing the bell tower!…..Next week I will tell ya about how we did a filmclip on a golf course….best you DONT ask! Dont take any shit and remember that life is toooo long to put up with people and things that you hate.
Still loud,still ugly and STILL HERE!!! I ain’t goin’ NOWHERE!!!Tooo many people I havent pissed off yet!!!!
Born Right.
Michele.

Hey Sports fans!

Well it is looming like the raven!!!D-Day Thursday June 26th….THE LAUNCH AT THE ANNANDALE!WOOO!!!! …I am talking about what is gonna be the nite of the year! Be there! Big love to Lachie D and all the Brisbane hard core crew who have been spreading the Tourettes word up north for us! You rule dude! Sorry that I am still bad on the fan mail front but I am gettin’ better at this shit all the time…keep the faith and keep on writing!!! As I write this Mr Manning is over at Sony putting it together!WAHHH!!! We go to press tomrrow…Its like childbirth! Christ!!! I cant believe that its finally done!! We have also re-pressed the 1st album so you will be able to get your hot little hands on it at the show…Me? Well mighty nice of you to ask!..not sleeping enough as always and having a ball doing interviews with collage stations in the USA real early in the morning…I am still getting it back together after the shoot for “Stand”..wooo! I got some hot stills that we are gonna scan for ya’ll so you can see how full on it really was…Murray got it right in Drum “….More like a one day war…” Not wrong!!…and Thanx to everyone who has been requesting us on JJJ. Love ya work. We need you to keep it up as we are, as Nailbomb would say…”punk rock losers”…Hell! I wear it with pride! You guys are the greatest!!! And ’cause we do it all ourselves you guys make us….dig?…cool!!! As I feel that I have been loosing what is left of my mind I am getting More tattoos this week-end..The god of ink is one Adam craft..check his site…amazing!!!…adamcraft.com
I can hear my Mum screaming at me from here!!! I have also been writing like a sick fuck Ha!Suprise! for the next ep that we wanna try and get out round Sept.WAHHHH!!!
Contact me any time and I will see you all loud and proud on the 26th!
Over ‘an’out Michele.
Ps.Big Thanx n lovin’ to the following faithful and missed this update.
Miss M Bass Goddess…Thanx 4 The support!You rule..
Murray at drum.We know its only rock n roll…….Thanx man.
Sleezy Pete In Los Angeles? Miss The ass off you!
Skoota,Krystal and Monkey- ear Deanna for the New Zealand support!
That crazy Chick and all Her mates outside Utopia…you made my day! Tell me your name next time!!
The Sharon Osbourne of Australian Management! The bands mum/asskicker! Miss Emma M,You Rock!
Capt Andrew Mac..
Adam Craft……OUCH!!!
Miss Maggie miow.

Hey!

So I guess that you can tell that ma’ band got jack of me not bein’ able to use one of these things sooo….here goes nothing!!!!!….1st off the bat,I get all your letters an’ i cant tell yo how much you all save my ass!If I dont write back that dosent mean that i dont care.I am just tryin’ to come true so you guys have somthing to look at!An’ more important to listen to!The shit that went down to get this album done!!!!That will be My next epic!!!What i am tryin’ to say is without you guys who have stood by us for the last few years we wouldent have shit.You guys are the sickest an’ best fans in the world an’ anyone got a problem with that statment I DARE you to say it to my face!Fuuck!!!The new album is brutal!!!….We did it down at the milk barMuch thanx!…I kept falling asleep when I wasent needed an’ having members of silverchair falling over me thinkin'”Wha’ an’ who the fuck is that thing!!!@#”…….The new album is called ” detestimony”…Ash,Ross an’Mike sound UN-belivable and as always it was a blessing to work with such amazingly talented musicians…cant belive these guys have hung round my rotten ass all this time!!!!…I know that i keep sayin’ this but when you hear this its gonna knock you on your ass.I shit you not……..
We just spent a grueling weekend on a film clip…all at 303…we owe you large,thanx soooo much! for one of the songs off the new album called “Stand” I think I that Swear more then anyone!!!…..Before I keep telling you guys more of the fable…I gotta thank ALL that were involved with it….EVERYONE worked their assses down to a bloody stump for sweet fuck all to make my an’ the bands vision come true….. an’ be warned it is gonnaÊ fuck you up!!!Hell,I am IN it an’ it makes ME sick so that has gotta be a good sign right!@@#$%….So,To all cast,crew all….Tooo many to be named here,Thank you….. with all That I got.You Guys rule.How lucky am i?#$%….Some days i dont know How i Got here….I get to work with the best talent.Damn.
All is well in the Tourettees camp,I am counting on you freaks to turnout in force to our launch on the 26th of June at The Annendale.Jupunga are heading down from Bris-vegas for it,the true rock Gods that they are are….much thanx guys! The sonic clusterfuck that are NEOEZI are Opening up the nite so be there early….now, I am not just busting your balls cause It is My band,but by now,unless you have had your head up your ass you woulda heard that Club 77 is no longer gonna “Rock” fuck it!!!So we hafta show ’em ALL …You know who you are you are you motherfuckers….That we still have the numbers to have a live scene in this town.Put your money where your mouth is…..
I cant get a hold of Ash…He is mastering AND producing.Damn.He just locks under and does it.Ross is,as always ,the backbone of the unit,and if I was to list all that he does it would read like a Rock an’ Roll War an’ Peace…Yeah!THAT MUCH!!!Mikey is still the coolest gentleman drummer in rock since Charlie Watts from The Rolling Stones.He Has been up the coast doin’ His Jazz thing.Home now.We are all getting ready for the tour……
Me?
Hell,Just yell my ass off.Almost got my 1st book finished.Phwft!@#….what the hell was i thinking!
Damage report from weekend….
1 Black eye.
2 Lost tooth….not happy’bout that one
3 Cracked rib.
4 Broken right knuckle …What a wanker…I punched the camera!
Thanx for reading an’ your support…feel free to contact me thru the site…
Take it any way you can get it an’ we will see ya all at the launch.
Ps.Thanx for all the feedback on me being a tool at the Big day out with the Mighty Hard-ons in Sydney this year…awwww….Ya’ll make me blush!

talk more soon.
Michele.