25/09/03

I have been running on empty since we made it back from Melbourne, not sleeping, thinking far too much about the state of my state so to speak [utterly fucked,thanx for asking…..] I am in the mood to ramble so thats what I am gonna do….How often do you think about emotional mutiny? For your sake I hope that it is not as much as Me.I should try and get my point across a little clearer here. Ok,It is the “Kick Me” sign that your broken heart sticks on your ass at your lowest…It doesnt really affect me,I removed my heart years ago.It was doing nothing but getting Me into situations that did nothing but waste my time and make me hate my all to human failings.Trust Me when I tell you that I dont miss it.I hung a photo of Sir Johnny Cash in the empty space only last week.Vale.It looks rather fetching surrounded by red votive candles,somewhere to retreat to in my dark hours..I know that Nick O is out there drinking enough for both of us.[You gotta get that tattoo now man…..]In a word?Gutted.I couldnt write about it when I heard[Thanx to all who wanted to be the 1st to tell me and thanx to the 1st who did”…He has gone to the grand ole opery in the sky pussycat”You know who you are.] We are gonna watch ’em all leave the building you know,it is our lot.Tears me apart.I hate day to day humanity,not really what you could ever call a “people person” so to speak.

Humanity makes Me want to vomit.Cant be any more blunt than that can I?.Music is my life line.Never had anyone stay up with Me and see Me through to the dawn the way My CD collection does THATS for damn sure.Do you know what I mean? Your loss if you dont but I doubt that you would be here now if you didnt get my drift. As you know we just made our way back up from Melbourne.I hate September with a passion so to that equasion add the tooth ache,the fight at the Greenroom for which my bandmates hung Me [Michael and Glenn? Two soilders that I always want on My side of the wire.Thanx for saving Me from getting totally smeared.] My shithouse birthday…Lets just say that the fun didnt stop for olde misery here.

Not all bad,dont get Me wrong It was great,show wise.Playing with Bloodduster was as amazing as I knew it would be.I fell off the table I was moshing round on like an utter tool when Tony dedicated a song to us.Yeah,I know,real fuckin’stylin’.My big bro Blackie made my weekend showing up at The Tote after The Hard-on’s killed it only scant meters down the road.I wanna take this chance to say sorry to the nice barman at said venue that Ross and I put on the spot with our quasi adolecent sexual stupidity.No one deserves that kind of verbal panzer division raining down on them when they are trying to do their job…..YEAH RIGHT!..[.I think that he woulda shagged Ross but that is a whole other sordid tale.] Miss Karen Cocks did a great job keeping our asses where they were ment to be [never an easy task] Got to rock with some great bands over the 3 nights that we laid waste.Wouldnt trade it….so many new sikfuks crawling out of the wood work.I am tired and smiling for that fact alone.You can win a set of steak knives if you answer My jaded ass this one question before I head out into the sunset to pay for all My sins.
Q:What do you do when the enemy is you?
More later.
Dropfire.
Lt.Madden

Part 2
Sept 26th 6:08 am.
Soundtrack? “I walk the line” By His Holiness, Johnny Cash………[on repeat.] …..People always saying how they “Love” stuff.”Oh!I love you/it/that/him/her”.I got to thinking on the way they throw it around, fire it like spit balls in class on the last day of school.I thought that if “Love” had to have a friend to hang out and shoot the shit with ,that friend would be “Yes.” They would hang at the mall and tell each other that they looked great then bitch about each other to lesser verbs later.I am on the rampage when it comes to these two words tonite and although you dont give a shit why you are gonna get told ’cause this is My fuckin’ page and I can do what ever I want….They both have built in exits.Are you following Me here?Look,How about I give you a little background before I get in any deeper and my brain explodes due to my rampant insomnia.I get hung out to dry,alot.This is because I dont give second chances and I dont buy into social reindeer games and bullshit banter.I say and stand by two words.I say and stand by them a REAL fucking lot.I say “No” and when I must rise to the occasion I dont fuck about or say it lightly but,and you can sue me, “Hate”.The last one is one of the only things that I have ever really had a real flair for to tell you the truth!I dont know where you stand on this but I tend to think that life is too long.Too long to put up with people and things that mess with your inner peace.The way that I see 99.9% of mankind is like someone who got totalled in a hit a run and then to celebrate getting out of the ICU decide to go and play in the traffic.Self abusers of the 1st degree.

Look,you are not under contract to make anyones life into a fucking theme park.If you dont want to do somthing or you dont like someone,stick to your guns…LOUDLY.Say it.The reason people shy away from doing so is because they are surrounded by
vampires[Read;friends,lovers,bosses,parents,teachers,spouses,girlfriend
. ..wah,wah…add lib to fade.]
who make them second guess their most base emotions.I call Bullshit.You feel what you feel and you are the sum of that,go on tiger,ya know you wanna.What is the worst thing that is gonna happen?Ohh boo-hoo, a pack of people that, if you could even get the bare minimum of guts up to tell YOURSELF the truth, you dont like ANYWAY are gonna leave you out?Gonna seperate you from the pack?Lemme tell you somthing,You are gonna die alone.You only have a 2/10 chance of buying the farm in your own bed… DONT WASTE YOUR TIME.Why the hell suffer fools if there is no need to??Clear the path and walk alone.Dont be so afraid of your own company.You can change your 1st call on “Love” and “Yes”.”Hate and “No”?…Wellll,The weather is not so good and the room service pretty crappy and come to think of it ,I am usually the only guest but all that aside…It is not a lie.When you say yes to somthing that you wanted to say no to in the 1st place?That is where the lying starts.And for what??You are now attempting to protect the feelings of someone that you knew in your heart that you should have denied in the fucking 1st place with little regard of what was best for YOU in the 1st place!Gimme a fucking break!!What kind of self abusing shit is THAT!??Then you go and complain…about your own stupidity,no less!!!….To anyone who will listen.Why?BECAUSE,YOU BORING LIFESTYLE CHALLAGED SPINELESS FUCK YOU NOW HAVE A ISSUE ALL OF YOUR VERY OWN!!You are a 4 alarm whiner.I see people like you as a car crash,I dont want to look,buuuuttttt…Damn!!Me?,My life flings enough shit my way every day thanx…usually friendly fire,excuse the pun.What?Awww!!C’mon!Friendly fire?Your own “Side”getting trigger happy on YOU! and yup,I am the ham fisted motherfucker of Doom on the IRONY tonite My heritic sikfucks,better belive it!I dont mind the crap from the civillians so much its the sniping I cop in My own DMZ.Why?CAUSE I WONT BE OR DO ANYTHING THAT I AM NOT.End of story.Sure I will work with you,we can teach each other.I am all good with that.But You know what I am and where I stand.I make myself clear from the get go.So,That pretty much,right there explains why you fuck with me on my own point…Because you dont have the balls to call the shot and stand by it and because I do?…Ha!Compared to you on a social level?Lets just say that I dont HAVE a social level.I went out there.It dosent work for Me.Hell,There was a time when I wanted to go and mix with the animals[Thanx Hank!],to see if I was missing anything..I decided that I wasent and made my way.ALONE.I found out early that I was not a pack animal.Big deal right?WRONG!And that,if you have made it this far,is what gets me hung out every time.I live by My own code on My own time and dont answer to anyone.Now, you would think that that wasent hurting anyone.Right?WRONG!It,as far as I have seen ,hurts EVERYONE and why???Cause THEY CANT DO IT!They tell me to My face how much they admire my,ahem,”Stance” on things …FUCK OFF,FUCK OFF,FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!You narrow minded wannabees.You make me sick.This is not a “Stance”you clowns,I dont fall back.What?You think that I go home and stop being Me????#@!#@!That there is a”little lady”[….snort!] just DYING to climb out of the self created carnage that I am?So you can stick a label on her?Jesus-fuking-please-us!!!You SUCK!You WISH it was that “Movie of the week” cut and dried dontcha…No dice.

I was born right,maybe not right for anyone ELSE but I know that I am right for Me and at the end of it all that it the one truth that I have never backed down on.It is the only one that I own.If you have made it this far,ever been bailed up by me after a show when I am on a roll or listened to what I sing,I know that you know exactly what I mean and for a moments peace just maybe that will let Me sleep tonight,but I doubt it. Michele.

Hola!Ya’ll never cease to amaze Me!

Didja know that? Pornstar hits the lights and all I can see,and keep in mind I am legally blind,is you.You trip on it and it drives us even harder! Candys was brillant last night and thank you to anyone who came down to support 4-bolt and us…..Lemme tell ya what has been goin’ down on planet sikfuk! Ohhhhh. Paper down for Me! Got the call that we had been waiting on since October last year….We will be seeing you on the main stage,midday,at…wait for it….. METAL FOR THE BRAIN!!! Yes! Sound like a Sergio Leonne script,don’t it?..”12 noon…main stage…pistols drawn..”Gimme a break!i havent been sleeping much.[“Surprise”] As always the highs are so high so ya know that the lows are gonna suck….BUT…I wouldnt trade it for anything!!So Canberra it is on Dec 20th! THAT is how you do Xmas! I have got the hottest date lined up.You will see me cruzin’ round with her so come up and say hi..The long suffering fox in question is my Mother and she would love to meet you! How cool is that! She has never seen the band play before so its gonna be funny as hell! She is used to my rancid self and behaivour so it will all be good in the hood!

Off to Melbourne on the 18th to play the Espy,19th the Green room and sat the 20th we have the honnor of supporting the mighty Bloodduster at the Tote!Ha! Whoever says that dreams dont come true can fuckin’ BITE ME!.The 1st 2 shows we will be hitting the stage running at Midnight at the green room and the Tote we play at 10;00[…See ya there Matt!Miss Alexx!Jarrod,Karen…….]Thanx for all the support and E-mails that have been flying up from the deep south!You guys make the Trip down worth it. Also,before I make a run for it without paying[“…GO!”]Thanx to all who have sent their regrets and love to us,via e-mail and the guest book,coming up and saying beautiful things to us.Ash is reclining some where smirking his ass off! Big Hey to The Brazilian Sickfuks!Go Hard! Cool to see you up there! Aiming for Rock in RIO!!!! Keep it comming. Big fat Birthday wishes to the big daddy in the Sikfuk family….SKOT 1#!!!!You are a fucking champ.Have a killer day!
Will write from the road!
See you on the darkside!
Michele.

When I heard about Charles Bronson I knew there was a bitch wind blowing……..

To early to be late,September 3rd 2003.

Some shitty net cafe…….. Sometimes,no matter if you think that it is you writing the fairy tale or not,the bad guys win.You just dont hear about it,and nothing much changes except for those that are left behind……for them?The poison gift given by a leaving hand…. that nothing is,or will ever be the same again and the lack of what came before?

Totally endless…… What do you do when it is really all too tiring and you discover that the dark was never out there but in you all along,that you carried it like a rotten bouquet down a glass strewn isle at the end of which was the only truth you had ever known?The one that you had run from from the day you were born?Let Me tell you what you would you would do…

Relived,Greiving for us,the ones who would play Wendy to your Peter Pan left behind… forever in your choppy big hearted rock and roll wake ’cause thats just the kinda dude you are and that we all love, You, soles bleeding and eyes leaking mercury tears….. you would lift her rotting veil,see yourself in her kind eyes,sigh with the weight lifted and kiss your self good bye. You gave it away to all that were ever blessed enough to know you…You shit.

Im telling you,where ever you are out there tonite.You didnt just touch people,you Nalpalmed us!..Man,If I still drank I would hit the beach with a bottle of Mother Russias finest and drink myself to a blind- drunk standstill toasting your life as the sun rose over Bondi….I am seeing you in the lane way now,The last time.

Remember?..We were all so high on the show that none of us wanted to leave.Did you know then? It was gonna be the last time? Flinders st alley in the middle of winter,You making Me,the whole band feel like we could kick a hole in the sky and that you were gonna be there to see it all come true…

You were leaving us then weren’t you? I am SO pissed at you!!! There is no good bye big enough.You told me the 1st nite we met that I”….had to keep going,I see the dark in you,I can hear it in your music….”.I was gobsmacked! Seems that you had that effect on alot of people cowboy and I am glad I was one of them…I digress…I thought you were the cheekiest fucking lighting monkey I had ever met!!I looked into your eyes and said that “It takes one to know one!…you are gonna have to keep running too man!”

We both laughed and introduced ourselves……………….I was still sniggering in the easy shade of your friendship,patched and erratic as it was,the virgo vibe….untill I got the call today………….

The way you believed in what you believed in was both awsome and blinding to all around you. It is late and I am full of bad salt and disbelief,I dont wanna stay here and I dont wanna go home.

I dont hold with religion so I am just gonna keep singing and remember that last show in Melbourne,You and Karen right in my myopic eyeline beaming at me,giving me my only childhood friend back.Believing in my sweaty broken loud mouthed self like a demented father..there was always magic around you, you fuck!…I know that you had to go but goddamn! I wish that you could have stayed…It is all just starting to get good and now you’re not gonna get to see how it ends!

I am gonna go home and pretend to sleep,you asshole…..Miss You,Just like the Rolling Stones song…..I got the memory of an elephant.I will never forget……anything.No love was big enough in the end was it?

You will always be Gatsby via Keith Ritchards to me Ash…..Looking out to the green light shining across the bay where you believed that it would all be alright…………..

Zebra skin red lights and Rock and roll……

Go easy into the tide friend. R.I.P Ashley Cocks…. September 2003. Michele.

Hell!It has been a while!

I am still on a Rock high from the last show!!!

Candy’s Apartment is my new HQ!! First off a huge thanx to Michael “Pornstar” Goode for giving us a chance to tear the Cross apart. He and his crue rule and if you missed it? That taste on your tounge? Well,I’d guess that is the after affects of EATING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!It RULED!!

And it was just the 1st of many! Seeing Mz Ann Thropick and Nunchuccka Superfly in action had me creaming. I was the fool doing the lighting! And blowing up the smoke machine in the process,sue me,I love those fucking things,there is no more of a sure fire way to feel like the 80’s never ended..[Well,that and playing “Appitite for Destruction” between bands, much to mine and Battys endless rock pig delight and Ross and Blackies utter disgust!]…..

Thanx so Much to all the die hard Sickfuks who made the pit a pleasure to behold! I cant believe that you fucks made it through 2 bottles of Jack Daniels!![Thats bullshit!You woulda made it thru a KEG had I tapped one on stage!!!]T

hat was cool as all! Well,you tell me,what kind of host would I be if I didnt offer our guests a drink?[….snigger!]…

We will be back down there on the 11th of Sept,which will also be our last Sydney show before we head of to reap Mach-10 damage on Melbourne yet again!………..

So,Big mouth here has been all over the press and perfecting the ancient Yoga move of “Foot in Mouth” and loving every SECOND of it! What? You want that I lie???

I know how lucky we are to get the chance to get our noise out there,So to every poor bugger who has ever had to sit thru an interview with Me??,I owe you many Drinks!!!And a purple heart.!!!!.Like I am gonna shut up and play cool now!!!Are you kidding!!!

Any one who knows me knows that a.I was born with my jaw flapping and b.I have about as much chance of being cool as Jimmy Hoffas body being found!!!

Hell,I have been waiting for this all my life.If people dont like it they can turn the page or switch us off WHICH they will have an option of doing very soon.YESSSSSS!!!!…

3 months down the line, Mr Matt Lawence and his tireless team have put the finishing touches onto the video that caused sooooo much pain to yours stupidly here…yup! …”Stand” is being graded or whatever the hell these talented types do,and almost ready to upset parents coast to coast!

I got the chance to see it and……..shit……….How about you tell me when you see it!!

Me and Ash are still comming up with the goods for the next slab.I am still a writing fool and getting angrier all the time.I never run outta bile to sing about.Thanx for siging the guest book and for just being there.Quigs is now the man with the plan when it comes to booking shows as we are running the machine on pure punk ethics yet again.You can contact him if you wanna play with us or have shows for us….We go down a treat at weddings.[..snort!]And to everyone who asked me if they could have my Ramones T-shirt at the last show? Bugger off and get your own at Faster Pussycat in Newtown who supply Me with a shit load of other cool stuff.Say Hey To Miss Terror The superstar lead singer of Mz Ann Thropick for Me an’ tell em’ who sent ya!!!

More of my crap later.
Search and Destroy.
Michele.

Hey

I am still dealing with the cruel fact that no one will pay me to stay at home all day.If you have alot of money feel free to give it to me at any time..

I am talking shit,this can only mean one thing……Yes,I havent slept again!

WAH!

Totally Killer rock weekend. My long suffering Best friend Lee[…and yes Tenacious D did write the song about him…I digress…] made it up the relentless Hume Hwy so we could bond and be men together in the pit at The Hard-ons who,OF COURSE, tore the Annandale apart on friday night.Shit hot show as always and if you werent there? SUCKED IN!!!!!!

I am still trying to work out how I ended up on the floor in front of Blackies monitior covered in tequila making a twat of myself![………….Viva Brazil????I DONT EVEN DRINK!!!!!] Thanx So much to all who have written me.

Now…do me a solid and write to all the mags who write about US and then we will finally be able to take over the world….ahe-m!….. I aint shittin !

Make a noise!

Let ’em know that you are out there!

….So,Have you checked out Rossco’s Page??? It is hard being in a band with people who are mucho clever ’cause it only re-inforces how thick I am at the best of times,although I have no regrets about not finishing my suck ass catholic education past the 8th grade [….it was only suspected arson?Ok?] Ross is a true all rounder..An ideas man if you will….read it or I will crease ya!

My drummer seems to be M.I.A so if you find him can ya send him back to me please? Did a cool radio interview with Andre the Madman up in Townsville today.Thanx again man! We did it last week but as I am prone to swear alot we had to do it again!

HA!!!!…..

How cool are Andrew Pittman’s Photos!!!!!You Rule!!!!Go check ’em out….Skot also got the ones that are up there as well at the Detour bar/Newcastle….The hello kitty camera of doom strikes again! Got a covert message telling me that “….I am causing a stir”

FUCKING BRILLANT!!!!WHERE????MORE!!!!! Before I fuck off back to the dark hole from whence I came….We are Half way through Demo-ing the NEXT album! Happy?…Note;One mega Shit eating grin!Its slicker than snot on a rock! I am taking suggestions for album titles….Pencil THIS one in ya diary Sickfuks…….

TOURETTES/NUNCHUCKA SUPERFLY/MZ ANN THOPICK…..CANDYS APARTMENT…..KINGS X….AUG 23RD….

[…the place ,not the excellent band from Texas..I love the album “Dogman”….Sorrry….!]…It is gonna be a killer gig.Cause I fucking said so! Till Next Time.

Stay sik and the left hand path is ALWAYS more fun……

Michele.

23/07/03

Good to see so many heads and sickfucks out in force for The opening of the Detour bar in the city.Dont make it a one off!!! Get your asses down there. I will be! Caesar and crew did a great job and it showed.Great line up to play w/as well .Nice and diverse,just the way it should be! Forlorn Suffering did a killer black metal job and I am totally shamed to say that that is the 1st time that I have seen them but am now wearing their t-shirt with pride! Nothing like a bare foot drummer with mad double bass action! Old big mouth here and crew were up next.What IS it with Me and crap fold back?? I musta thrown a heap of baby’s into a volcano in my last life or something…I digress….Couldnt have given a toss to tell ya the truth the vibe was SO good. All I could see was a line of Sickfucks camped out in the front row going off!!!.You guys drive me and it is so cool to catch up with you all AND that there is always more of you guys every show that we play flying the freak flag high.!!!!….Flesh Mecanic just get better every time I see them and we get the chance to play together. Rock solid comming off the back of those big supports. Tighter than a nuns cunt lads! So to all involved…you are the shit!

No word from The Hard-ons camp as they laid ruin to Melbourne on the weekend with The Spazzys.It is SUCH a cool time in rock. Can ya FEEL it. I can not only feel it but somthing smells a bit wiffy as well and it rules! Soooo….After Friday nite at The Detour I was not gonna lay down and die…Oh NO!!! So Saturday Nite Found Me And The most divine Miss Terror And The Queen of all that is Riff laden, Miss Susan, Half of one of my Fave bands Miz Ann Thopick, with our respective rock Asses parked on the pool table At the Vic on the park rockin’ out to The MOST slick Booby trap who look as good as they sound and they sounded pretty fuckin’ awsome let me tell ya! Love a lead singer who knows her way around a tamborine and no, I am not taking the piss! The world needs more of it!”Wildflower”The Cult…I Rest my case….The the legandary Shiek the shake…I would hafta be the only long hair in a Nailbomb T-shirt who rocked out and scared the be-jesus out a a pack of pointy toed fashion statement rock-a-billys who wouldnt have pissed on me if I was on fire!!! I dont get how they can just stand around?? Dont they FEEL it!! Fuck man! What do they do? “Hey Man,Nice Quiff…” “Oh Thanx. Nice Brothel creepers…”…..LOOSEN UP!!! Needless to say it was shit hot,I danced my ass off, Tried out a spot of bitch slapping rock inspired wrestling by the crapper with the polyester clad Lover man of rock,Tito R [“Fuck Michele! Not The boots!”]Lookin’ foward to a rematch ya bitch!!! Me and Susan deciced to relive the opening scene of Jackass in all of its glory on the way to The Town hall…Shopping trolley mayhem! Yessssssss…I LOVE going to the Townie,as I dont drink so I get to see mankind groveling in its own shit and fake honesty until the wee hours of the morning. Fuck TV! Gimme one nite out like that a month![Sorry to the off-her-ass drunk chick we conned into thinking that I was Tim’s far better looking younger brother…It was funny at the time..what the hey! Its still funny as fuck now I think about it! and you should learn to hold your piss lady!] Well Fuck!! No one can work out if I am a boy or a girl so I may as well be neither and get my rocks off!fack ya!!!..[….je te ami Sir’s Jagger and Richards!] In we roll as The Saints are wailing.”…stranded far from home….”Upstairs to swap triva with the crappest drummer in the world but the coolest brother! [Just kidding Tim,wait no I am not….Shit! Did I say that out loud???] So,much like 3 teenaged boys on no-doz and goon wine,the 3 Stooges [Me,Tito and Tim,Christ ! Could be a Jackson 5 coverband!@#!!!] Proceeded to offend all and sundry with our usual blend of silky smooth pull my finger bullshit and totally politically incorrect behaviour. Stellar!……..

So now here I am! Sunday and I feel like some one took a dump in my mouth as I havnt slept yet.[You try it straight,if ya think your so ‘ard!!!] As my insomnia is killing me OH soo slowly [Wish it would hurry up or leave me the hell alone….] and I went on a writing binge as the sun was comming up..nice..Cant wait to do this next album…I wanna take the crown…AND the castle on this sucker…My boys are the shit!…And I can’t and wont stop…..The sound track to my folly? Mad Season “Above”….Peachy way to end a night or start a day depending on how you wanna see it….Ash is gonna give me 5 shades of holy hell as I am ment to be recording with him tonite but as he didnt show for media stuff on Friday I’d say we are even![..just kidding Bro!] Thanx to Steve Anderson ,Killer virgo and member of the mighty Hatemail for putting up with me raving and ranting in my usual style for Drum. Cheers! Man deserves a medal!!!!……!HOLA!…Kerrang! Thank-YOU! And to every one who has told me about it!WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! METAL FOR THE BRAIN!!!DEC 20TH!!!! Could I have asked for a mightier xmas pressie!??? Hell No!!! We will see ya there! I would drag my fat ass over a mile of broken glass just to BE there! Get on the forum,Throw our name around…We love it,and you dont get shit unless you chase it down and kill it![…I knew it!I am Finally morphing into Ted Nugent!Cool!]….We need you all on our side of the wire! Many shows comming up..I will keep ya posted here but if ya dont want to wade through my neverending self indulgent bullshit,Ross has gotcha covered on the opening page.Right!Fuck it!I am dead in the water!

Thanx for all the letters and feed back on Detestimony,[In store Aug, Dist thru MGM] always good to hear from you.
The mighty sickfuks…you rule my school! Hands down!
Til next time.
Dropfire.
Michele.
The cowgirl from hell.

Newcastle…A GREAT SHOW!

Thanks to all the COOL […and that word will become more relevent as this entry takes shape…] punters who decided to get off their asses and head for the Cambridge on a thursday nite and to the bands that played with us. Newcastle rock city,look foward to comming back up soon!!

Thanx for having us… but there are 3 people I want ,no scratch that.. I NEED to thank….I am gonna follow my gut.I have found my calling…I am the thing that goes bump in your nite you bong smoking sheepfucking ingrates! Send me your assholes,your drunks,your wannabe rockstars hiding behind their schooners of New….gimme em’!!!

That money that you paid to get in? I took it HOME cunt! You wanna heckle ME? BRING IT On!!! You sad ass little bitches…

If you had a 100th of my balls on a bad day you still wouldnt be man enough to get up there and do what I do…Your mate trying to defend you?

How sweet,you cant even fight your own battles… “Awww He’s just drunk..”.”I dont give a fuck, you called the shot with me? prepare to follow through”…

Ok,I had 3 maggots call me a bloke. I guess that it must be hard to see when you have all that corporate cocksucking load sprayed in your face day after day,it must really mess with your vision,but you see,I wouldnt know cause when you get back from a hard day at the chicken gutting factory or where ever the fuck drones like you work,just after you beat your wife,scream at the kids and pull a cone and settle in to watch “Australia’s funniest home videos” or whatever dreck keeps space monkeys like you happy, you close your eyes and see yourself up there,dont you?

 Doing what I DO, What you never had the talent or the balls to do…Try and kill what you fear, you air guitar playing fuck up…Fuel me,Prove me right show after show…I feed on it…YOUR FEAR MAKES ME STRONGER…..and no matter what,I always win…….

This happened 3 times so 3 times thankyou/ fuckyou very much…. I walk the point while you sleep behind the wire you civillian cocksuckers,Look,do us ALL a favour and do your best Kurt Cobain impersonation A.S.A.P…even though your parents WERE brother and sister I have enough faith in DNA that even a clueless button punching no- hoper like you could manage to pull the trigger…

Dont mix up your ambition with your ability boy..I’ll cut you down EVERY TIME!

Hey,

something about the Tote. Ok where was I???…Yeah!The Tote! Ha! Awsome as always to catch up with Contrive,[have a cool trip to europe boys.] I have known the twins for about a millon years and Tim is the most dapper gentleman in rock..

onward I ramble…

As we are a support tonite the I would of had better luck with sound yelling into a paper cup with a peice of string hanging out of it!In light of this fast dawning fact about two songs into the set,I decide to do the 2 things that have never failed me in such situations.1]Be a total bolshie pillock and 2]Use all around me in a weight ratio experiment…Including the lighting rig,speaker stacks and punters if they keep still for long enough.

Contrive just keep getting better,Its all those trips up and down the Hume…Oh man,By now it is late and time for Abrasion.Dumb ass here decides to sit with her fingers in her ears right in front of the PA.These boys hit all the brown notes..you know? When the bottom end is so heavy that you gotta go for a dump half way through the set.A Great bunch of guys,go see ’em.You wont regret it.Load out and die in the ass.

Back to the hotel to wind down and puruse the most excellent porn that I picked up on the way out of Sydney that has already even at this early point done a few rounds of the van,Cant talk [“Shitty Pa’s!!Thou shall not break me!!!”I did that in my best Charlton Heston voice…]And I smell like shit! Its a pirates life for me!… I am mixing it all up here! I know! But We are playing The Cambridge in Newcastle tommorow (woops was that the day before yesterday) nite and just wanted to remind you…Ha!Happy Trails to My fave Canberra Sick fuk,Jo,Blind ’em with science in the USA.

Lachie and The Bris-vegas Sickfucks..sorry I havent been in touch but stay on the left hand path…You rule…and to all the new Recruits in Melbourne…Welcome to the family![Michael.Ash,Alex,Karen,Benji,Lisa,Zoe…..]And before I run,Sickfuck 12#? we are writing and demo-ing every chance we get!!!!

Hey to Toddski and all in NY.As The King Would say “…Always on my mind…”SF 69# you make me blush! The Angelina Joilie of metal indeed!!Thanx for the e-mail dude!Go and get your eyes tested A.S.A.P…!!!! I gotta get gone.

Remember,

The only Difference between a rut and a grave are the dimentions…

Michele.

14/07/03

…..All I can remember at this point is comming to in the back of the van still swaddled like a rock’n’roll newborn in the layers of sweaty Black Flag t-shirt and Helmet long sleaves that I had seemingly only Rocked out in scant moments before.Who the fuck is driving!!!???Hold on lemme sit up…Mikey? Yeah!. Phew. My mouth tastes like Ive kissed the wrong end of a baby and its 100 miles to the border. Whats that?![….”take your earplugs out you tool!”] Ohhhhh!Strapping young lad! Cool! A full moon and stale farts……Tourettes are on the road. “What happens on the road stays on the road” “Close to something is somewhere near the middle of nowhere” “What the fuck are we listening to??!!”…….. Good Question! Never let the lead singer ride shot gun as there seems to be some fault in our DNA that makes us unable to listen to a CD all the way through…Lets just say that I dont even think a commune of acid casualties have clocked up that much Led Zepplin since the heady summer of 68′.[Nice one Rossco!] I think they wanted to throw me out of the van when I decided somewhere near Gunning[Fucking TOP Cafe Dave…Just tell ’em Tourettes sent ya!] that Skid Row was a good idea…um…and Europe?..Oh what ?!Like you didnt dig it!”The final countdown”went off!!! I am still trying to work out what the fuck Joey tempest was on about! Heaps of Sabbath. And I noted that Mikey sped up during “Vulgar Display of Power” That album invites speeding tickets! Ok…So we rock into Melbourne to only to foist ourselfs upon my long suffering Godmothers Jen and Kate who then proceeded to be their ever excellent selves and hose us down in the front yard,feed us a most stellar rissotto then chuck us all into bed. Ahhhhh!!! First gig day! Paper down for Michele! Enter the most Cool Big man on Campus,Ash Cocks,complete with coffee jones,hangover and fully done worksheet! Ya cant ask for more than that. Ahh, Melbourne! “Smack one day rehab the next!….” So out we venture to stick our name up on any thing that doesnt get out of the way fast enough, Meet and greets,Breakfast….soundcheck when? Ok…So I get the boys to dump me at my Fave Hotel in St Kilda,I love em’ but I am not gonna sofa surf if I dont hafta! WOOO!!!So off I sod and sticker the bejesus outta the prom and all the way down Ackland st. I feel like I should be cannonised by some religious order for not Jumping the counter at The Monarch cake shop and eating all that lay in my path…Cool! Netcafe!!Shit!…Thats a heap of mail!Cool!…Ahhhh!Skot! My sweet Sydney sickfuck! 100 points and running for The Germs Trivia!Gave you 100 ’cause even I didnt know that his mom hadta get the body shifted cause of crazy fans….Im gonna hafta make em’ harder!…Ummm..Miss Maggie,The B*,Blackie the great,My Mom telling me to cutsick!WAHHH!!!Fuck!Soundcheck!The Tote!….. As my brain is now totally broken I am gonna leave you hanging for the rest of this fable…Note to self:Do NOT attempt to blueflame at 100 miles an hour….. Ok Sickfucks,riddle me this, 1]Name Debbie Harrys 1st band… 2]The film in which Divine eats dog shit… 3]The day and year that Kiss took off their make up… 4]The movie in which Paul Newman eats 50 eggs.. I gotta sleep ,We are playing in Newcastle on Thursday…More of my shit tommorow…. Over and out. Michele.

Ahhhhh, So here come the questions about the songs…

I kinda figured that it would only be a matter of time.I always swore to myself that I would let people find their own meanings in them so here is the deal…

Picture me and Ash in a room yelling at each other and thats HOW they get written…its fun to tell the truth…but the words? They come from another place all together.[Thanx for asking sickfuck9#]

What drives me to write the way and the things that I do?,I could lie here but I wont…Revenge,anger,pretty much pure hatred all round. My Muse,if you go for that shit, was written by Dante and created by the devil! I think that she looks like Jenna Jamerson and smell like a good fuck! My office usually looks like some one opened the door and lobbed a grenade in and ran!.I am a stationary whore!!!,gimme note books and pens and you have made a friend for life! I have a big sheet of butcher paper up on the wall next to my bed so if I think of anything good in the middle of the nite…[ and lemme tell you that is as rare as rocking horse shit!]

I can write it down without having to fuck around too much.”Faust” was half written on the back of a bus ticket going into the city to meet my sister at the movies,I cant remember what we saw that nite,all I could think about was that bloody Chorus!!!I go through all the same shit that you do,I am just louder about it, that’s all. I know that this is true because of the letters that ya’ll write me.

Some of the stuff that has ended up on “”Detestimony””is still very painful for me but I guess that it needed it to be or I would be in some shit- house pop band!!! Cant you just see THAT!HA! Fucking not!

As a Band we went through some amazingly gut breaking shit..I decided at a really good peak due to personal problems in’01 to bail out for New York and quit the band,It was horrible,I just walked out,I had nothing left inside me […or so I thought].

We had no contact for months and I was sure that they were never gonna take me back,Thank fuck I was wrong on that front! I came back to Australia and got lied to and fucked over by a whole bunch of cunts who took advantage of me at my lowest…They know who they are and they know that I will and can wait forever..I dont forgive or forget….My saint of a mother tells me all the time that “Living well is the best revenge darling,let it go”…”Ma” I reply sighing “That is all well and good but I would much rather be the last thing that they see before the lights go out for the final time….” She just sighs.

Like I said the woman is a saint! So between me fleeing the country,drug problems, Violent encounters on the front lawn of our old band house “The Ranch” involving an axe handle no less, health, marriage and nervous breakdowns….well,there you have it.

Detestimony. Tourettes. And the only three men who can handle my bullshit and I guess to a degree,I theirs..We are still together! Ash is an amazing man to write with…he just sighs and lets me go crazy when I turn up at the studio with my hatbox full of paper and weird manga notebooks.Ross and Mike are the back bone that send me crazy live,they are my sonic cluster fuck, watching those two record at the Milkbar with Ash behind the desk was a dream,a revalation for me.

I sat there and shook,feeling it pound though me.So there you have it.I wrote right through a very rough New York Winter alone at last, through bitter and had won choice, watching my life fall away in a shitty motel room with a king size bed and as many cartons of ciggerettes as I could afford[…Ahhhhh Marlboro Lights, my true lost love…A year for me without your carsonogenic comfort come july 9th….sigh….was that yesterday] No one knew where I was, all I knew was that I had to get the Fuck out of there.I wrote and slept alot.Depended on the kindness of strangers,kinda like a Rock and Roll Blanche Dubouis….If you have ever had to break your own heart to save your life you will know where it comes from……..

Till next time my fellow Ronan and mad-assed heritic sickfucks. Dont change or back down.

Michele.