Well! What a fucking weekend!

It has taken Me a while to come down [with an ass shattering thump] If I had one wish right now it would be that…..I had a licence to kill? I was gonna write somthing else but that just slipped out! Must be the truth then. And from what Rossco is handing out in Uprooted I am not alone! Hell! I have got some kind of chemical inbalance, I love it when people try and mess with my inner peace. Chicken shits one and all. Civillans in cool fur so to speak but I can spot em’ in a second. I can see the fear under their skin…an’ lemme tell ya’ll another thing..I love fishing in a small pond and ya know what ? The fish are never as big as they think they are….

LOVE it I tells ya!

The uptight fat goth attitude problem on legs working the door…Oh man!She was a right piece of work! The personality of a busted thong and more crack than harlem. Not content in giving me a hard time when I had done nothing but say hi and give her our door list she gave Mikey a helping as well..Bad move Mortica… -Excuse Me,I was wondering if Michele had put some names on the door? [ Very polite and shy is our Mikey ] – Yeah,if Michele is an ugly guy…..

So natch my little drummer boy tells me this and I front up to the vinyl clad lard ass hiding behind the door….Dropfire.Over.

OHHHHHHHHHHHH. It gets better! Some tripped out bleach blonde wannabe rockstar waif asks me “So Who did you suck off to get the Strapping show?”…Excuse Me BOY but isnt your *ahem* band supporting us tonite? And seeing that Gene Hoglin is sitting next to Me why dont you ask him?. No sikfuks,I didn’t smear him from one end of the room to the other. I will save it for next time. Nothing better than seeing a no talent crack licking motherfucker run like a pussy bitch when ever you enter a room. Anyway I was in too much of a great mood after opening for such a great band! Strapping were sublime to say the least.Please excuse Me,I gotta go see a man about a dog…
MUCH more to come…….
Michele.

Well!

I think that I take the crown for ass numbingly boring Saturday nites…I have been building a sky scraper[ WOO! Diamond Dave!…sorry!] with my writers blocks and when it is finished I plan on doing a swan dive right off the fucking top! I have been complaining about this in the last few entries and I bet ya’ll thinking “Fuck she goes on! What about all the crap she said she had done…..” HEY! I didnt say that I WAS’NT writing! I am pumping it out like a motherfucker! THAT is not the problem…The problem is that it is all total dreck! I mean, how many songs can one angry young woman write about killing everyone ?[ Dont answer that!Too late!…] Lets just say that I have enough for two double live albums at this point..sigh. And more love songs to serial killers and the like.Sometimes Ash asks me “Whats this one about?” after I have almost bust a lung screaming my ass off “Its..” I puff,Red faced and totally unattractive “Its a love song, pant,pant…..” “But you killed them in the second verse.” “Yeah,well..um?…ITS STILL A LOVE SONG” “Sor-ee!!Remind me not to let you date anyone that I am fond of!”

We are adding a new member to the family this next run to Melbourne.Ross was right! The Osbournes have met their match in the mental stakes once we get going! We needed a camera man/merch god/all round good guy.Calls were made [” Oi! Lez! Get ya shit together! We are goin’ on the road!”] and we knew that there was only ONE man for the job.One man who could put up with the bullshit of being cramed into a stinky transit van with the most mentally unsound band in Australia for up to 13 hours at a time,A man who would embrace the “Pull My Finger” Je noi suis qui of the Tourettes experince….A stoner god and strangly enough the only member of my family who ever really had any faith in Me [it was all the free booze that I have thrown his way over the years..or maybe the controlled subst…..] A-hem! WELCOME ABOARD LEEROY M! Arghhhhh! Its a fucking pirates life for us!Miss Jo? If you are reading this I SWEAR that I will get him back to you in one peice.

He has been told that EVERYTHING is fair game….ohhhhhh Jesus!To quote Spinal Tap…….”A bit to much fucking perspective..” I am gonna go and keep writing and I wanted to tell you that I ran into Mr M Goodey from Candys tonite and as Strapping are playing the same nite as us [How rude!] Rather than risk my boys doing a freeform jazz odessy cause I have done a runner to see Heavy Deavy and co, It has been decided that we will go on round one in the morning so you can get down and see us ALL IN THE SAME NITE! How much does that rule!

SF4L.
Michele.

I got told by a well meaning friend that..

“It is rock and roll to have an overdue phone bill,rent!!Who cares!!” Well, Me. It has got fuck all to do with rock and roll to tell you the truth and as I am already up shit creek sans paddle..What the Hey! Hand me a fiddle and call me Nero! Right? I let my digits do the dancing and spent a most excellent morning catching up with one of the 1st true belivers in Tuscon Az…The Goochmonster. I have been doing a lazy sidestroke in the stagnent duck pond that is my psyche so please indulge my rampant bullshit…..We talked for ages and he ,as always, put my faith back in the right place.I find that the only friends that I have tend to live on the other side of the planet..telling non? Rossco Delux Bassgod will vouch how hard it is to be friend with a woman who sleeps with a baseball bat and a 12″ pigsticker under her pillow…

Poor baby had to wake Me up the other day and I was revolting as always…..My standard answer to any knock on my door is to bellow “FUCK OFF OR DIE!@!!!!” which has scared the be-jesus out of my landlord on more than one occasion.I Digress…..”Why so grumpy and tired?” You ask, oh gentle reader…. I had one of the most stellar Rock weekend in an age, thats why! Last Friday night I ran from the house with a song in my heart looking like I got dressed in the dark under the affects of A-1 LSD….Off to the Galic club to touch tounges with the sonic devil! YESSSSSSSSS…….Turbonegro!!! 1st up were the ever rocking Hard-ons..there are only a few bands that get me rocking THAT hard! The Pit was fulla photographers and well,me and my hair! Fernanda and I were the 2 man mosh of doom.My neck is still buggered but it was well worth it………

Shit I gotta go! More later…..

So, where was I?

Mmmm! In the pit…… Like I was saying, by the time The Hard-on’s got off stage I should have been in traction! There are only a few bands that turn Me into a Ritlin baby on red frogs and those boys, needless to say, light my fire…SHAME on all the hipsters that take home grown talent for granted saving up all their rock love for the internationals..See me after class! Took bloody ages to get a drink after that so Me and Fernanda stocked up.I turned around only to be confronted by the one person who is more rude and crude than my Whitetrash self…Enter stage right, one Mr Nik Troppiani,Mogul, mover, motherfucker and shaker. We have a charming habit of screaming total and utter profanity into each others faces no matter who is around,whenever we meet..the object is [ that is if there IS one..] is to be totally shameless, a task that neither one of us have a problem with.!! After the screaming comes the random violence of which I am a BIG fan.Poor Chris, the most dapper drummer from Turbonegro got caught in the middle of our male bonding session and made a break for the backstage area looking quite shaken, poor lad.Dont blame him to tell you the truth. Nik and I can be a Wog whirlwind at the best of times…He went on,fearless, into the nite, pinching boys asses and going bugshit in the mosh. I got a great photo of him from the balcony where a friend told me upon seeing my sweaty self hanging over the railing that I “..was doing my metal Juliet and giving the royal wave”…Cheeky git! My Reply? I then gave him the royal finger!

So down into the bowels of “Pick-the-riff” heaven!!! OH! But I havent spied that many sailor caps off Oxford St in my life!!! Nothing like a bunch of hefty blokes in eyeliner kicking out the jams on a Friday night!!! As I squished my way onto the dance floor I was swept off my combat booted tootsies by Flame Boa Dave and CARRIED! No less! into the eye of the sonic storm!My hero! It takes a brave man to attempt to sweep Me offa my feet but he has been getting away with it ever since I worked the door at Cue in the bad old days [” I dont give a fuck who ya sucked off last week girlie,if you dont have a badge stop wasting my time.”] As you can imagine I didn’t make many friends in THAT job…I digress…We are flailing around when they start playing “Get it on!!” It is, at that moment, that I cop a burbon and coke in the face,have what Hank assured us was “Dolphins blood” smeared all over me and being the tall fucker that I am , catch the feather pillow that has been tossed from the stage and swing it round my head cackling like a witch covering all and sundry in white feathers…blood,burbon,feathers and rock and roll? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh……. Colour my ragged ass sated!

The nite, as all good things do ,ended.I caught up with heaps of people that I havent seen in ages![ Mel & John! Good ta see ya! Shoot on Pittman,See ya at BDO Ben.Tim and Tito!My fave gay lovers!….] Got to meet the band and make a simpering tit out of myself as always…yup!…fanboy strikes again. Took heaps of photo’s that I got back tonite.[Including damming snaps of the last run to Melbourne and Bris-Vegas….half of which I will destroy when I get back to Chez Shed], Dropped a quadbox on my foot because I am a tool and got squried home by Sir Scotty only to find a car jacking taking place out the front of my abode!Now THAT is how ya have a nite out!!!…WAIT! THERES MORE!!!!!!!

I think that I got some sleep when the phone rang..My Brother reminding Me to remove my head from My butt and to make my way to the MECCA that is The Annandale,where, I am informed, my snotty- wanna-be- rock- god- name will be on the door for…MASSAPPEAL! I did NOT hafta be asked twice.Sighhhhhhhh..under-aged- goonwine- mean-skinny-high-school- joint memories swiriling through my motley head as I made my way gingerly across the room due to a very stiff neck and an epic case of mosh-itis.Doing the sniff test through the mountain of long sleaves that I make my way over every day to get to the bathroom,I threw on “Funhouse” by the Stooges and proceeded to rev myself up.Picking the least stinky T [Dont lie!! we all do it!!] And strapping myself back into the combats,I made my way out into the trenches for another offensive.Lock ‘n’ load! Ahhh, Massappeal, when I was young and my heart was an open book…Hold on! Wait a sec..ahem!!….When I was but a minor stain on the duvet of cool, I saw these guys tear a long forgotton venue apart in my less than hip hometown.Jesus wept and I very un-suavely spewed on myself BUT kept on moshing SO, as you can imagine it was with a tear in my cragy bad tempered eye that I showed up tonite. And by the state of it I was’nt the only bloody one!! Must be some kind of joint collective fucking memory that one!The place was packed to the fucking rafters! So glad that I got to see them tear such a good room apart! I was fading at the end so I went and lay down next to a heavily pregnant woman who I informed was “Gonna have the COOLEST kid!” Looking rather pained at my unwashed self and acompanying enthusiam, She smiled wearily and folded her hands over her bump and it was at that moment I was re- reminded of why I think that children are a bad idea….

Ahhh, The opening act…. Blackie had been chewing My ear off for some time about these guys and I am a convert to be sure. Check out the Stockholm Syndrome ASAP. Good God!I even got the 7″ and I dont have A RECORD PLAYER!!! Me being the Drummer fan of hell had my jaw flapping like a barn door! As a unit these guys are peerless. HOW fucking GREAT is Australian Music???You dont have to answer that Oh mighty sikfuks…just keep turning up to the shows!!! This sunday is gonna be a blinder at The Annadale yet again when My Fave Riot Bitches take to the stage at 6 sharp…Mz Ann Thopik with their new bass queen Kirsty. I will be there with Fernanda who never says no to a farewell tequila as she is jetting to Brazil next week…sniff! Soooo That was My weekend! Impressed? Well ya fuckin’ autta be!! I bloody am!!!

Poor Ross! I sent him these missives and he cleans up my dyslexic mayhem before it makes it to White trash for your voyeristic reading pleasure.He should be knighted for his efforts…and as for the “No boilers on the bus” rule. Its Ok big fella…We have all done it at one time or another.Rest assured that his other half thinks that I am a total bitch now.[” We are not a fucking taxi service for disenfrancised youth” muttered Heirr Stormtooper Madden from the shotgun seat while her trusty Bassgod gripped the gear stick white knukled and squinted into the cruel Queensland sun……] I will be passing on the photos of said jaunt this week [ shudder!] so they will be up real soon. Got some great snaps of the Preference boys inc. one Of Tim Hanging off a fence like a posessed monkey and NiKko jumping on top of me while running round the room playing his bass…Oh Darlin’s! I know its holy rock’n’roll bit I SPIKE it!!! Hehh..Hehehehh….

So Ash finally got me on the phone after I had been practicing the little-known-cause-I-am-making-shit-up-again ancient zen art of avoidence…We had our manditory “Fuck you.” “NO! Fuck YOU,Man!!” for round about 20 miniutes and then we decided that the only way to get me over this writers block thingo that I seem to be having [..”There is no such thing as writers block Michele, you are just fucking Lazy..” “LAZY!Fuck you Manning!!Some of us have to work for a living…” “NO FUCK YOU MICHELE!!This album is not gonna get made if YOU keep fucki….” add lib to fade….]Was to lock me in .Damn.See! Just like family really!! We love each other like…um…the Hatfields and the Mc Coys?.Hell! It works for us.You can see why Quiggs and Delux tend to avoid the writing process, huh!….We start again on Monday.Bugger. […”Cant trust that day,na,na,na,na,na,na..”.] I will be fine once I get in there and that pointy bearded bastard knows that AND Me far too well…… I have been keeping My head down, [well outside of big rock weekends that is!] I think that everyone is well over getting my answering machine.[ “Michele,It is time to let Johnny Cash Rest in peace…PLEASE!!”..Blackie on my machine.] I am really looking foward to playing at Candys next week.It will be cool. Miss Karen is down in Melbourne putting the wheels in motion for our next jaunt down to Smack central in november..Ross is plotting our next film clip for “Damage” You guys have NEVER seen me like this before! Christ! I have never seen Me like this before!!!Its gonna be different thats for sure! I think that he wants to get that rolling soon and as you can imagine I have got my knickers in a twist, [well, I would have if I wore any!] Over METAL FOR THE BRAIN!!!! Ohhhhhhhhh!!! I am dripping like a busted fridge with sheer metal LUST at all the bands that I am gonna rock out to that day!!!WAHHH!!! Big cheers to Adam and Co. for getting the show back on the road.Remember why you are there and what it is for and then go as hard as you can!!!!

Thanx for all the mail that you guys fire My way.It is always cool to hear what you are all up too. Well done to “Project Mayhem” Sikfuk’in it all over Old Blighty as I tap away and to the splinter group of “The Mischeif comittee” who have let me know who is who on the “Rage” Page…I am touched! Mike V and the Melbourne sikfuks who are doing a great job with the chatroom and the down south street team. Skot and the Sydney crew and all the new family nmembers in Brisvegas who have taken to us like a fellon to hard core porn!!!…Like Al Jolson woud say…..
“You ain’t seen NOTHIN’ Yet!”
Stay sik and I will see ya on the 31st at Candys…
Michele.

16/10/03

I ended up giving all my ballchain braclets away when we did the instore of DOOM.I wanna thank the crew at Moshpit music for having us in to play.It kicked serious ammount of ass…I was shopping from the second we stepped foot in the place.[…gimme THAT an’ THAT…] It is a serious mecca and I am now the proud owner of a “Seasons in the Abyss” patch.Life gets no finer at such moments.So,We play with a well cool band with a KICK-ASS name…Bitch Toy! Sounds like something that Satan would put in my stocking dontcha think? We all ended up bonding in the carpark after the show and as I christened them “Sikfucks” They informed Me that Tourettes were “..of DEATH”. Let Me explain..when something is beyond cool you throw the goats up infront of your face and intone that ” Blahahahah…is OF DEATH!!!!” Needless to say that I have been flogging it like a dead fucking horse! Wade and the boys have signed into the guest book so hook up and check out their site…needless to say that it is….OF DEATHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I am gonna be raving in NO order whatsoever about our adventures…Make ya keep reading I guess!We listened to everyones demo’s on the way home.I love getting new music from talented fuckers thrust upon me after rockin’ out barefoot in a beer barn.Oh Man! So cool! We played on the same nite a a band called “Whiteline fever”…Yup…You guessed it, Motorhead cover band!!!…Paper down for Me!! All the bands that we got to hang and play with were great.It was a bit hard following 3 and a half hours of proto-cowpunk and surf bands one nite but if it don’t kill you [..or if your bass player doesnt kill someone out of one of the aformentioned bands…] it only makes you stronger right? You guys know Me, as long as I got some sikfuks to shoot the shit with I am fine as paint.That nite my ass was saved by Miss Mel,Fernanda the great, Maxwell Demon, Brent “Metal forever” and Kent the Bass wrangeler.Never under essitmate the healing power of a game of indoor soccer with a water bottle! We finally made it on stage and I made every one drag their chairs up the front for that more shall we say “Unplugged” vibe? [NAHHHHH!!! ] This pub was KILLER!! I loved it!!! I think the last time it got re-decorated Malcom Fraser was in in the drivers seat..no shit! It felt like the school socials that I was always to un-cool to show my ugly mug at!!! The bar staff looked at me like I was something that was stuck to the bottom of thier hush puppies…I was in hog heaven!

Nah,nah nah!! To the little sikfuk who e-mailed moi asking about what I tortured the van with this trip..you cheeky fuk! See ya at candys! Oh yeah..ya better all be gearing up for THAT show..It is gonna be a killer!! Friday Oct 31st at Candy’s..22 Bayswater Rd Kings X. Dress up or have me paying out on you all nite for you lack of effort!……any-hoo… here is the playlist of doom!

“Dont let Michele ride shotgun” List. WEIGHT -The Rollins band [Of fucking course!] DOOM SALOON -Pod People [ If you havent got into these guys yet you need a good swift kick in the quoit! They rule soooooo hard! ] POWERTRIP- Monster Magnet. [Ok! So it was bottom end stoner central!!] DIRT- Alice in chains [ Ash has had this album playing, and I shit you not, for the last 4 months..I mean he just turns it DOWN, never OFF! Nothing like sing-a-long junkie epics…Layne..Miss you for-EVER.R.I.P] UNDERTOW- Tool [Because it is law to take at least one tool album out on the road…and YES I wrote that rule so fuk off if ya dont like it!] VERY EXCITING- The Hard-on’s [ I couldent find my copy of “Dick cheese” so the new platter it was!!]

Ok, I am about to get booted out of this netcafe by the uptight pom who works here so this is the fast list that doesnt involve me ass kissing all my fave bands…ahem!

ELO/Hendrix/Buzzcocks/Pistols/G’n’R/COC/Sabbath/QOTSA/Nick Cave/Johnny Cash/AC/DC/ Blooduster/Slayer[fukin’natch!]/Sepultura……..

WAH-WAH-WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…….
Bloody endless!!!
Lock and load!
More later…………
Lt Madden.

Well,well,well!!!

Checked my e-mails today and got a rush from all the suntaned sikfuks up north!Hola! You motherfuckers really do go the distance! Welcome to the family!! One of my last images of the Sunshine state was The big Prawn [..shudder!] and crappy truck stop food.You are lucky if you can shit for a week after you drag your ass out of the van. J.Nixon was right..I am always on about bodily functions..Sorry. Well, we made it back without killing each other!! Ash is at Me to pull My finger out to go and work on the new stuff this week-end.We listened to the new demos over and over in the van seeing what would make the grade and there are some MONSTER songs comming your way.[ “Vanity thy name is Michele…”]..Well! They are good!!Sheesh! All I want to do this weekend is drag My half deaf self to the Turbonegro show at the Annandale to see my brother CREAM it once again!! Love The Hard-on’s..g’on..ya know ya wanna! Mmmmm…Turbonegro at LAST! Brettski got me into the on the last hot summers at Chez Rancho, we bounced off the art deco walls for days! “Cause I like it,LOVE it,LIKE it……” wah,wah,…ect. One of the Original sikfuks has made his way out from the the land of the long white dope cloud to chase said Norweigan leather men all over the country.Yey Skoota!!! See ya there!!!

I am impressed with the terror that you soilders have been reaking on the media in all of its forms!!Big assed gold star to all of you!!!The “Rage” site has got me cracking up somthing terrible!! [Jess,Jack,Little-bit,Deathwish 666# and Sikfuk fightclub, keep up the stellar work!!] Thanx also to Kitty Rock from NZ and Capt.A for their letters into Kerrang! and Blunt.I am blushing….You guys are the core of all of it.Without you we would have nothing and I hope that we keep managing to repay your faith in us.

More later.
Michele.

09/10/03

You know that you are a true pig when drunk british backpackers will not stay on the balcony when you are there.I think this may have somthing to do with the fact that I have the ability to communicate using nothing but strength of will and total profanity.We are staying in a well cool backpackers in the Fortitude Valley and in the same room.I have this demented king size bed and the boys are like poison fruit hanging off the ledges surrounding me.I am being pretty well behaved cause they are all in poll position to fall on me and kick my ass.

The scene up here is to die for! We drove for hours,many,many hours arrived and loaded in.Met in the carpark by the coolest bunch of guys and the mighty David Dean who has been throwing all these shindigs for us to play at.I was blown away.It was packed on a wednesday night! Everyone was cool and we rocked out on yet another shoebox sized stage..[“Oh Wembley!Where for art thou???”]

The most divine Miss Maggies friend Kent turned up and made us feel welcome.In fact everyone has been totally peachy.I havent got into a fight yet!

Went to the beach yesterday.I think that the locals will be talking about us for a while.Stupid here is now deaf in one ear! Note to self:Ear wax and diving do NOT mix.So the next few shows are gonna be interesting due to the fact that I cant hear!!.Van banter is depravity at its lowest once again…Ross is now “The crack head courier” due to his habit of riding up everyones asses which then sets Ashley and I off into a whirlwind of fag-inuendos that have Mikey rolling his zen-drummer boy eyes from the sanicitity of the back seat.In return,Rossco has taken to calling the pointy beirded axe-meister “The Perth granny” due to Ash never getting the lead out. People walking pass us when Ash is driving.Old people with HIP replacments positivly GLIDE by throwing our snail asses flipping us the bird in their wake. Mikey just grinds his teeth and white knuckles the wheel while he drives.He reminds me of Robert Deniro in “Taxi Driver” and you know that it is the quiet ones that you hafta watch..he could snap at any time…We tend not to push him too far.

I have 13 minuites left untill my money runs out on this thing.Ross wanted to use it as well but since he is off flirting with tourists on the deck I am gonna drivel on to my hearts content.The score is Nil all on the “Get a shag on the road front” at this point although Mikey hit the Valley last night soooo he could be holding back information.The boys are ribbing me for carting round a sodden photo of my dream crush of the moment and I admit that it is the dizzy height of pathetic to adhear said foxys photo up on the back of the seat in front of me with Apple Hubba-bubba.Sue Me.

No one at the hostel will talk to us besides the care taker who told us that he met Led Zepplin and then asked if he could carry a guitar.Harking back to former glories I guess…we were eating breakfast today when he asked me ….
“Are you the lady crooner?”
“Nahhh” I repled “I am the force of nature with tits” Mikey choked on his muffin and on my blatent rudeness I guess.The old dude dug it though so all is good!

Fuckkkk,Its gonna run out!!!More later!!
Lt.Madden.

So,

Rossco Delux came over to my hovel today to fill me in on his most debaunched weekend.I live vicariously through his mach-10 decadance,I admit it.After tales of up-ended bottles of amial nitrate,high heels and things that I have a haunting suspision that you could get arrested for in at LEAST 41 states we got down to band stuff. We are taking a video camera out on the road.I sit here in the net cafe of doom and shudder.I ask myself,”Is this a bad idea?” My muse drops into frame wearing a spanky corset and a come-on-an’-get-it look.She smacks me upside the head and yells “Was Sharon Tates living room a mess??? It is the WORST idea ever!” I lock her under the stairs and get ready for my close up.This is gonna RULE!!!The blackmail possibilites are ENDLESS!!!I write to you guys about the day to day grind of providing Jack Daniels Rock’n’Roll on a water budget …. but now you are gonna be able to see it.Any relative that I have got who hasnt already disowned Me is gonna write me outta the will for fucking sure now!…..

All is well at the Tourettes DMZ.It all never stops which is how we like it.Cant wait to get in the van at some unholy hour of the morning come wednesday and hit the tar to Bris-Vegas.Thanx to all the bands who have written us to say that they are ampped to play with us.So polite! Right back at ya guys!!! It is gonna be a weird one for me as I havent been back to the melonoma state since I got run outta town with guns blazing a few years back…..It is never boring.!.Just hope that we dont end up with a rock and roll Rodney King situation on our hands!Cops seem to hate Me on sight!

I have been torturing My new guitar over the weekend.Shawn sikfuk,video king and all round guitar god has miss-placed his faith in me and is attempting to teach Me how to play.I have heard cats fuck with more rhythm.My neighbours wish that I was dead.

Havent spoken with Ash for the longest time but I dont have to.We are gonna be stuck in the same room for the next week.If you hold with any kind of religion throw a novena or ten my way.No…wait,pray for the boys ’cause they are getting the short end of the stick as I do not have the funds to secure My own room this time…4 of us in a room….I am leaving my pig sticker at home!!!.There is a “No wanking in the bunks” rule on this run but every one will ignore it anyway.I wanna see who gets laid first.It will not be Me.

Have got some primo reading thanx to my Brother.He lent me The Darby Crash bio.Cool!And My usual fistfull of Sandman comics,truckstop pornography and trash will keep me happy.

More from the road……
Broken arrow.
Michele.

How long has it been since we got back from Melbourne?

What ? Two weeks? Ah! That explains the low angry hum comming from my laundry basket…That would be SUCH a cool way to die…”And in more news,Tourettes Lead singer Michele Madden was found dead in what looks like a bizarre laundry accident…” The 1st rock pig to be killed By a “Down” hoodie I am SO sure.I am totally domestically retarded.Go up to Ross at the next show and whisper “The Ranch…” in his tender ear and watch him blanch. My Mother used to say that I was…” more dirty than a boy!” when I was but a dirtbomb of a wee thing [hard to imagine I know,but I was vertically challanged once apon a time…] WRONG! I am yet to find a boy who is as messy as me! The dickpackers at The Ranch wouldnt even come upstairs when my sister and I ruled the roost.The world was our ashtray….sigh….Does anyone have a spare slave? I need clean stuff so the boys will let Me ride in the van with them as we head out to DESTROY Bris-Vegas.

Speaking of the eternally cool and long suffering Saint Tina,she sent Me a cool letter today saying that may-be I should put the breaks on writing wise when insomnia is beating the snot outta me…That I should,erm?…Not edit,but not cut myself open.I wrote back saying that its a bit late! She rules!! And I pointed out that if I didnt write at such stupid times and wracked with sleepless anger I would never write at all.!! Just goes to show that your always a kid to your parental units.She is gonna thump me for saying all that cause its exactly what she is talking about!!!.I walk the line..
I have been processing this whole BDO thing as you can imagine.The underdogs come through eh? I am not gonna say that I cant believe it ’cause I have been wishing and working for sooooo long.It IS a dream come true. I mean look at us,I cant do laundry, We have no manager,no record company support and NO fucking budget thats for bloody sure! And yet…I will tell you what we have that they dont,We have the best fucking fans EVER!

….I dont know about you guys but it makes me think that the tide is turning. If you are reading this now you dont let anyone tell you what to listen to.You are not dictated to by record pimps and what they believe is “The next big thing” In short,you are not to be bought.You are in it,like me,like us,for the love of it.Dont change! Now,who woulda thunk in these times that a pack of renagage Sikfuks would…….BE PLAYING ON THE SAME FUCKING BILL AS METALLICA!!@!#@!#@!!!!!!OHHHHHHHHHHHHH GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!! Bet your ASS I am totally over the moon! I have been flogging “Master of Puppets” all night!! Would it be bad protocol,do ya think, to throw my self at Sir James Hetfields leather clad feet of totally fuckin awsome-ness?I will undoubtably make an utter fan- boy fool of myself!!Example….”JAAAAAAMES!!!!! Ozzy took you out on the road in 86′ dont you think that it would be good karma to take us? blahblah…..”I am just glad that I never had to stage that hunger strike in Ken Wests office!

  Tell ya what else feels real good at this stage of the game?…remembering all the civillians that said that I would never get this far.Oh Lordy!!I have three well thought out, yet stellar words for you…..KISS MY ASS! Anyone who says that revenge via success doesnt taste like the sweetest fucking victory known to mankind needs their goddamned head checked! Who? Damn! That is one loooong list! But rest assured that I got it from my so called “Nearest and Dearest” at the time. What ever you do? Whatever you want? DO NOT BACK DOWN! Finding your truth is 50% luck and 50% smarts.That is the EASY bit.Following it? The whole world is gonna come down on you,you are gonna want to throw in the towel every day.What? You think that I am gonna sit here and lie to you? Say that I never doubt myself? Get the fuck outta here.!.The second that you follow your own path? Oh Man!!! It was once said that in order to “Get what you want you must first find out what you must loose.” I cant remember who said that as it is now 6:31 in the morning and sleep,as always is avoiding me like the plague. But said smart ass had a point. People fall away from what scares them and rest assured there is NOTHING like a driven being who moves outside of the circle to get em’ scared,Think of life as that scene in “Midnight Express” when Billy decides that enough is enough and walks the wrong way around the prayer wheel.Sums it all up as far as I see it.[“Brillant fuking flick,5 stars”-Me.]You were born right.Screw ’em!

Ahhh!Back to band stuff!We are gonna be tearing Candys Apart on the 31st of Oct,Yup!Halloween!!! Dress up and get your asses down there!Its gonna be a riot!Keep in mind the last one we did I showed up as Axl.w.Rose so feel free to let your freak flag fly with us!!!.8 Ft Savita are trecking in from the Land of the long white cloud to throw down with us so its gonna be a monster!I can pretty much bet the farm on some one in My band wearing a dress…AND ITS NOT GONNA BE ME! We are gonna be headlining at Bar Broadway on Nov 14th with My favorate Bris-Vegas Boys Japunga.If you didnt see em’ at our launch you would wanna catch em this time! 3 Point Tilt are gonna be rounding out the bill.Cool.

Just wanna shout out to a few people before I drag My rotten ass home and crawl into My coffin…..

Death Endless spreading the Sikfuk vibe in London.Go hard darlin! Miss Sophia and Mr Adam showing ’em how its done in LA.The one and only Gooch-monster in Tucson Arizona,I will see you soon Bro!Toddski in NYC,Thanx for the 16th birthday card!Jacobi,Thanx for being there from the get go.The Melbourne Sikfuk crew,good to have you aboard guys.Big Lachie Drummer boy and his crew of Brisbane Sikfuks,Gonna be soooo good to see ya.Skot 01# Tell me? What are you comming as? Capt A on the Doom patrol. Miss Karen down south much respect………
And to YOU for reading ,listening and believing.
Thanx for all the letters,keep em comming and bug the FUK outta Rage and Channel V To show “Stand”
Search and Destroy.
Michele.

“WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Well!There it is!Ross has let the cat outta the bag….SEE YA AT THE BIG DAY OUT!!!!…Holy shit!Talk about the reinstatement of 20 odd years of lost faith!!!Mr K.West?You are the fuckin’ man!!!Big thanx to the ranks off Sikfuks who belived in us enough to push us [Bolt,Greg,The Capt…Many more.]And to the Sikfuks who to quote the mighty Bowie “Never let Me down.”After the last time I wrote I have had so many letters from you guys that let Me know that the numbers are building in our favour all the time…On the flip side ,I dug the one that said that they “Are sorry that I am so lonely and angry…”[…Snort!] I am ALONE you thick fuk!!BY CHOICE!!And if I am ever not angry?Well,that is when the world should hold its breath and kiss its ass goodbye!How am I feeling about every thing at large?The bring it on poster child I guess.I just want to keep pissing people off and having the time of My life up there.It is the only thing that matters to Me.Ross said it all in “Uprooted’ so I guess that he beat Me to the punch,go and read it if you havent checked it out already.I guess that it just goes to show that if you make enough noise and lay it on the line that you can make yourself come true.Pig in shit?or Swine in a septic tank?I cant really say,all I know is you got one shell-shocked sonic nalpalm dropping cowgirl on your hands.Sikfuks?Without you?…………..nada.Thank you.
More later.
Michele.