Your face makes my fist itch.

-New song untitled.

-And yet I find repeating in my head…..
A.I.C

Only I could get a chemical burn on my ass before we played our 1st show.I swore that I was not gonna talk about in on stage so of course I did…Meh. A long a painful story involving my butt,baby puke and industrial chemicals.
Nasty and most un-rock.
I like to think that Ozzy could at least relate but I doubt it…..

YEY!!

We played and it was goooooooood.

I knew that we were gonna have a good show cause Canada WAILED in the hockey and I think that the locals were most impressed when I dedicated a song to the team,It was a fucking amazing game but I digress.[The finals are on tuesday….]

We roll up to this awsome little bar dowtown called “The barfly”.It was like Cheers and to set it up for y’all back home it was about half the size of 77 back in the day.Which led me into the mosh pit and doing my Metal Sinatra to the people sitting down.Sweet.

It was great watching the way that people reacted to us.Cue many jaws dropping.Converted a whole bunch of sikfuks.The opening band Chaisuga did an AIC cover that made me melt right into my stinky converse.[Nutshell,fact feinds] Halo headlined and we were in the middle.By the time Halo went on stage,Scott the lead singer had a tourettes sticker stuck on his forehead.And the rest of the boys had them plastered all over their guitars and rigs so I was most flattered to say the least.

The bands that we have met so far are really nice.Before we played ,Richard ,who plays bass for Halo had already made contact with Me [Wooo! Gonna see Slaughter and Ratt Dude!!!] Which I thought was great.You are on the other side of the world and people go out of their way to make you feel welcome. So yeah! We got us some sikfuks out here to raize hell with.Scott ,another bass god ,is a “Dazed and Confuzed” fan as well so we are hooking up to relentlessly quote at each other.Anyone who knows the snatch sniff hand shake is all good with me!
Sweet.

Everyone who came down and the bands that we played with were hell cool and I thank you.It was the best way to kick off this run for us.Well,I am talking for me but I know that the boys had a time as well.

On Man! There was this lock up garage out the back that NEEDED to be skated in the worse way!!!!! The boys told me that I am not aloud to skate on the road cause I am the mistress of disaster {Sorry Duane} and I would be sure to fuck myself up..[ Blind+ 6′ 3 + Deck?= WAHHH!.].If my sister is reading this?? B*!!! its totally boss here.Paved malls all the way! Are you skating much in Hollywood?…The B* has the 1st “SF4L” deck.Mikey has got photos so they will end up on the site sooner or later!

Oh! Good news.The ever stauch Princess Cobez is heading out to this side of the world.See ya soon doll!

Leif is keeping me updated with all the sin that is taking place at my Beloved Annandale…I know ALL! Heh! Dan! Mikey is now breaking in the shirt and we are getting photos.

I got home at 6 this morning and I got press this afternoon [“Michele,how does it feel to be a woman in metal?’ “I dunno but I will trade you,you tell me the details on how it felt to remove my shoe from your ass “…….] Its not that bad anymore so I am lucky. Thanx too all for staying in touch from back home as well.Keep flying the flag and recruiting.We have a planet to take over remember? Heh.

Cant wait to get rolling again this week.

Now ya gotta sit down ok….

I have got some really amazing news to share with y’all.Not only do we get to play with some of the most amazing bands in the world but Devin and Gene have asked me to throw some vocals down for a guest spot on the New Strapping Young Lad album.If you dont think I KNOW how lucky I am you need a smack upside the head! My heart speeds up just thinking about it.

I would never have got this far with out y’all.

When I talked to Gene about it my legs went out from under Me.Even if it never made it to the last cut the honnor is more than enough for me.All I ever wanted was to be a part of an amazing band [Check!] Play,Hang out with other sikfuks and ,if I was lucky ,get the chance to work with my peers and heroes.

Since I have been out I have been writing alot and thinking about the path that leads a person to where they are going.How you are the sum of the events that take place in your life and the people around you.I have been gifted with some of the most selfless people and musicians.I wanted it all so badly that it was blinding,I mean,I persued nothing but this.But there are those moments ,no matter how hard you have worked for somthing and how sure you were of the end result due to [in my case] brute force and single mindedness,that still manage to take your breath away.

I tend to lean towards the school of thought that no one is immune to such overwhelming gratitude and if you are some jaded hack who cant give thanks?.Fuck you.

Soooo….
Road dirt….

Not as much as you would think to tell the truth.I really dig being with and around my brothers all the time.You get to this really strange “Lord of the flies” kind of situation and speak in short hand and grunts that civilians roll their eyes at.

To whit.
-Remember…?
-Oh man!
-The one in the red right?
-Sick my brother!
-Full ill action I say! 9 ok with you?
-Sweet as a nut.
-Cant belive that…
-Shit man! Your telling the fable!
-Belltower?
-Belltower mach 10.

That will look like a steaming pile of shit to anyone outside my band.Come to think of it….! Heh.

Being out here really does get you tight on the wire.Its great. Well Mikey just walked in to use the net and all so I will take leave of you now.

Stay true and bow to no man.
SF4L
Michele.

Baby,your a freakshow just like me….

-C.Love.

-If you lived next door to Cathy Freeman,you wouldnt be “Oy,You like to run dontcha?Go down the shop and get us some milk.” -Mike on jamming.

My boys are not the type that fancy a couple of joints and banging out some Zepplin on a few gats round a fire.The irony is that that is exactly how Mannning met me! Without the joint but none the less I was wearing my Maiden “Killers” teeshirt at the time.They are over talented jaded cool.If rock and roll was a sport I would smell like deep heat and be cutting up oranges at half time. So cool watching the Rocky mountains roll by the window looking all peacful while the stereo on the bus buckles under Bloodusters last magnum opus. HA! Jr wrote me and if you are in Europe dont worry about my Mom.She is writing herself off at some castle in Austria at the moment.Sound as a pound, that woman. The B* is lost in La.I am waiting to hear if she has blown anything else up.I nailed my 10th free Chai tea today and have not seen this much daylight in my life! Its all good out here.More shows are rolling in by the day and that gets me all hot and bothered.

Thanx for all the mail that y’all have been sending me.Nagging me to eat [heh!] and just sending your good vibes down the line. WAH! So many cool pickup trucks! I am more a redneck now than ever! I want a gun rack! That whole great outdoors caper of the long weekend would have been alot cooler if I had a gun.Me and Ted nugent,Men together in the wild singing “Cat scratch fever ” At the top of our lungs. See,its good to have goals. Oh fuck me! I saw a Tee-pee! ,no shit! I am gonna go and camp in it when RV livin’ gets to be too much.Canada man.A teepee pitched in the playing field a block from your house [tourbus?] Whatever.I will communicate with smokesignals. I am writing like a mad woman.Happy to discover that all the things that fueled me on one side of the planet are even more finely tuned on the other side.Album 4 is gonna be in the can before we have even tracked the 3rd one!

The studio is magic and has well lush sofas that I know I will be making friends with when the boys are up all night tracking.Endre Lukacsy is a top dude.I got a really good feeling when we met.He and Ash achived what Delux called “A Vulcan mind weld” So I think that they will be fine. I think that longing is important.All in all? To be completely honest,I dont REALLY want what I “think” want.I would not know what to do with most things,most situations and people.But the desire? The fuel? Its sending me words and wet dream teen scream songs from the other side of nowhere. In my mind I am king for the endless loops that I run at random while I count the streetlights from my bunk.Desire provides the movie that only you can see. The ones you want the most dont even know that you are alive…Pain brings visions bay-bee. Big hurt for mega sounds and I knew this was in the fine print sign my life away…..

Ever practical I blew my perdeim on patches [“Alice in Chains Ash!!! Look! I need this!!!!”] for my shorts and a Buddwiser Bikini. Looks soooo wrong with my BDO combats and my Stetson.I will leave you with the visual….think Gerry Springer guest.Which takes me back to needing a monster truck in the worst way. Wait till my Backpeice gets thrown into the mix…..Hehhh…. The play list in the bus is ever changing andf eclectic. I am telling you,you would have to pry my discman out of my cold dead hands.It is my best friend.The last couple of days I have been going hard on….

Vulgar Display of power- Pantera. [Me+stairmaster+this platter?= CARNAGE.]

Nice- Rollins Band

Americas sweetheart- Courtney Love.[ You are right Yvette,”Uncool” is THE track.]

Rated R- QOTSA

Sketches of Spain- Miles Davis.

Best of- G’n’R Facelift- A.I.C Serpent,Zepplin,Early Rolling stones [“Under My thumb” = sighhhhhhhh.]

Hacked off that I did not get my Pod people Cd off Nanda before I bailed.Of course they waited untill I was on the other side of the world to play at the bloody Marquee with Alchimist no fucking less. Bugger it. The Birthday Party, Beasts of Burbon…….. The boys are running through the new stuff without me singing so as I am a punter I am gonna go and watch one of my fave bands! SF4L Michele

I, Wanna rock and roll all nite!

And party every day.

-Kiss.

BONJOUR FROM CANADA MOTHERFUCKERS!

The air hostesses spoke french! We all melted! Moi ?erm?? erm…I gotta practice!

Here is a non related totally abstract list of shit that has happened in a week.And I will rate it all on the “Meter-o-rock” [TM]

[I just made that up…Pe-rettty cluey eh?]

I AM IN CANADA AND I JUST SAID “EH?” WOOOOOOOO!

Ross and I freaking everyone out at the gym. 8/10

Me hurling in the bathtub on the bus at 4am due to a shady salad? 10/10

Picking the vomit out of my nose the next day? Priceless

Number of band members who would rather give head to a broken bottle than hear me play guitar? 3/4

More fireworks in one week than that Audioslave video [Dave is a Pyro-tech.]? 7/10

Me trying to show other members of my band the afformentioned snot? Not very clever.

Being given “Come out and Play” By Twisted Sister on gatefold by a Sikfuk? 9/10

Blowing shit up by the lake and not loosing a hand? 5/10

Kiss dogtags from sweden the nite we bailed?10/10

Members of Tourettes who have had food poisioning? 3/4

Evil sleep all day “I am never gonna drink again why are you looking at me like that I mean it this time!” hangovers? 1/4

Fag jokes on the bus? 18768763876487648765867586587658765.

Shit jokes on the bus? About the same.

Litres of shit pumped off the bus by Mikey and myself in 9 days? Roughly 600.

Russian gymnest pain and diffculty rating of showering on the bus? 9.5

This will go on as the tour keeps rolling.Heh….hehehhh….MUAHHAHA!

Sorry if I have been crap on the email from but my account thru the site is as twisted as a born again christian at the moment.The day we left I had 596 emails telling me how to get a bigger dick and a heap of letters from you fine people that I could not access.So If you have written me over the last month I am not being a dick and blowing you off.Try me again and I will get back to you.

So good to have computer access for long enough to touch base with all you Sikfuks again! It really has been too damn long! Before I go any further in my tales I gotta thank everyone who came down to our last Australian show in Kings Cross.

If you were there? I bow to your pit! That was one of the best nights of My life.I watched it on Rosscos computer [Thanx Tony and Box!…have not taken the necklace off yet dude!] on the way to Hawaii.All you can see is the pit of doom!Limbs fucking flying! It was all my Slayer -esque wet dreams come to life!

If you decided to stay home?

You will be lying you ass off ,telling your mates that you were there soon enough….snort!

……soooooooooo,

It was the flight of doom times three.

But we made it 20 somthing hellbound hours later.

You will be seeing our tour bus soon enough on tourettes Tv.Its bigger than my last fucking apartment.Dave and his crew were at the airport when we arrived and have been taking A-1 care of our rotten asses since.I am sitting in his house writing this to ya’ll right now.he and his wife Sandra have the paitince of at leat 5 saints….Oh man! Speaking of “Paitence” guess who got up and wooed a table fulla canook chicks with that very evergeen number at karoke just the other nite? hmmmmmm…..I gotta tell you though,nothing , and I mean NOTHING,bar me sticking a grenade up my ass and pulling the pin, could beat my Bass-gods stunning version of “My Way”

My favorate bit was when the fat lady in the leasure suit almost had a heart attack.

We got it on video so its all good.

Besides being in heaven cause all I do all day is train at the gym next door [ Ross is “Ripley” and I am “Connor” when we are goading each other to do another few reps….] and write untill my hand goes numb, I am really impressed with the clubs that we are gonna be playing at.Dropped by “The back alley” the other nite [I shit you not] Bar girs dancing on the bars,spooky kids everywhere and the closest version of Miss b

Brody I have seen since,well, I last saw the real Miss Broody…spooky….It was like a teen movie gone wrong! And packed to the rafters on a Wedneday nite…did I tell yall that I am going to see LA Guns in 2 weeks?….Sorry…I digress….pissed off that I missed W.A.S.P due to killer jetlag the nite we arrived…[sorry Glamours!]

Where was I…..Oh yeah! So I am cruizing around when the Dj Says “I wanna here you make some noise and give it up for Tourettes who are here all the way from AUSTRALIA!!!!!” And they all went sik! I swear all I needed was a redhead to come up and start talking about band camp……

Spoke to Gene Hoglan on his birthday.Strapping are in the studio at the moment.

“Hey babe! You taking care of yourself?’ [Me,playing worried jewish mother…]

“Hell-NO beautiful!” He bellowed at me and started coughing as we both pissed ourself.Vancover better brace its self when we hit the town together again! We are gonna kinda mix both of our birthdays together….Ya’ll will most likely hear it back home!

I better get out of here but I will stay on this a bit more.Mike wants on and I am sooo slow.There are gonna be some really cool people hitting the chat from this side of the planet so You SF’s back home show em how its done ok? I have told em all about you!

Oh yeah.If anyone is in Europe and they see my Mom? Can they say hey from me and tell her that Im Ok?

Cheers.

Stay sik.

SF4L

Michele.

[AWOL.]

Riddle me this….

Why is it that I always get stuck next to the mewling nutjobs at net cafes? And ones that wear scent that reaking like rancid cats piss? Just plain lucky I guess

All is well on planet rock.I am going mad trying to throw everything out.I have got sooooo much shit. I am totally going for the “Zen in the Hollywood hills” angle and so far failing with great aplomb.Natch.

The B* emailing me with tales of dancing down the Sunset strip. Summer love and hair metal….I cant wait to get out again.

I love it how people call you crazy when you run rings around their broken asses.Lord! I got some bitter motherfuckers comming out of the woodword.How did I get this far? I did not cash in my chips the second somthing got in my way,thats how.I read somewhere once that if you dont live your life that someone else will.

Fuck that.

I am out for all I can get and anyone who tells you any different in my eyes is totally full of shit.

I gotta tell you.I am exhausted .I clock about 5 hours sleep a day if I am lucky and I see shit moving out of the corner of My eye all the time.Blackie got home today but I have not seen him yet as I am sure that he is jetlagged to the rim and catching up with his wifey poo. I cant wait to get all the dirt before they move out.I know that I am gonna be up all nite as always and the call for the filmclip is 8;30 in the morning which I think is an utter abortion.I mean,if I am lucky that is when I usually pass out….sigh….Its all for rock so I will get up.I just feel sorry for anyone within a ten mile radius who is gonna have to bear the brunt of me.

I am still running on the credo of “You see the damndest things when you dont have your gun”. Am I an asshole magnet? I cant quite belive that its only Me ,you know? OH LA! Got another letter from the asshole of the year parent telling me not to write her offspring anymore.YOU START BEING A REAL MOTHER AND I WILL STOP PICKING UP THE PEICES YOU STUPID INGRATE BITCH.

You stop your kid writing Me and I will stop writing back.It is only due to the sikfuk involved that I dont put your name up here so that all and sundry can go postal on your ass.I considered putting your email up here as well but I figure that I should not give a stupid cunt like you the Kudos .You should donate your kid to me and stick with raising somthing easier…like say a houseplant.

One more email and I am gonna wail on you.You have been warned.

I just had to plug back into my discman as the nut next to Me keeps talking to her computer.Being in public with these drones takes every bit of will power that I possess.

The older I get the more honed my hatred becomes. Hell! I am good at this! Why would I stop?I am never gonna mellow out or give in.Why the hell should I?.Sellouts and fuckwits are pretty thick on the ground and I see no reason why I should join their jaded ass kissing ranks.I say have fun with your bitterness.Get mad and stay there,Train your anger.All this “Tree hugging love your brother” crap can eat me.Is the world becomming a better place? Exactly.

Let go of it?

Forgive You?

Dont make Me fucking laugh.

I have a severe lack of understanding when it comes to the daily duty that most seem to take apon themselves to suffer fools and deal with idiots.Picture this….you are bullshiting to someone who makes your stomach lurch with discust,telling them what they want to hear even though in your hearts you are both fully aware that it is a total crock.Your smile is so fake that it makes your jaw twich…you make all the polite socity sanctioned noises and take your leave feeling like shit because you lied.

And you walk right in front of a bus.

You spent your last moments talking to an idiot.

Nice one tiger.

Well fucking done.

Yes, I am millitent and yes, I am an asshole but unlike 99% of socity at large I can tell My ass from a hole in the ground.

I would rather be hated than lied to my whole life.

And I will take being feared over being loved anytime.

On that note I am gonna go and beat 7 shades of shit out of anyone who gets in my way.

Take it where you can get it.

SF4L

Michele

03/08/04

– Anyone who says that revenge is not the most brillant feeling outside of being given amnesty to kill is doing somthing wrong.
Me at 4-somthing this morning.

And as we all know from watching too many movies about the Mafia,the best revenge is success…….

I never want to see another cock solo as long as I live.If you were at the Fishos show you would know what I am on about.Val’s girlfriend was totally uninpressed.I thought that it was funny as all fuck! Ash said to us in the band room as Wayne Newton crooned our last song. “That is the 1st time I have ever had a grown mans cock rubbed against me!!!” To which we all howled with total disbelief.He did a really good show of looking hurt though which just made me laugh even harder!

[Later,in carpark….]

Michele,You know the rule,”Anything that happens on the road…?’ -Ash.

Ends up on the net- Mikey.

Too damn right! It was a great show and as always you sikfuks are the shit.Making your way out to the beaches….sigh.I wanna thank all who came but the Razorblade smile crew who came from fucking Cambeltown [@#!#@!#@!$!] have got my respect. Holy shit!
Thanx to Ruination and ECM for doing the show with us.

Cant wait for this Annandale show on friday.Dreams comming true.Playing with fucking Mortal sin Man!!!! the band that opened for Metallica on their first jaunt downunder.A cornerstone in Australian Metal…And all the other bands to boot! Wahhhhh!

I dunno if he is reading this but….Darren Abbott? If you all of the sudden have a problem with Me and my band do you wanna be a man about it and talk to me? Thanx.

The B* is now rocksolid in LA.1st day in town? She goes to OZZFEST.Natch.I am a funny shade know as “Envy” green at this point as you can imagine…….Only my beautiful blonde sister could end up at Ozzfest with backstage passes and manage to miss all the bands that I would flog a fucking kidney on the blackmarket to see!!! I wish that I had not of asked to tell you the truth.
Here is the list of what she missed…..
Superjoint [sniff……]
Slayer [Wah!…….]
Judas Priest [ARGH!…….]

And here is the dinger…………………………………….
BLACK SABBATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! …….sob.

I cannot cope…..

“Oh Baby!” She purrs to me sitting on Venice beach “Its Ok ’cause you will be on it next year! We are getting your stuff to Geffen this week!”
“But!” I hiccup “Sabbath B*,SABBATH!!!!!!!!!”
I could hear her rolling her eyes at my fanboy ass over 17 thousand miles.

To get my mind off that I will tell you about all the spanky shit that is going down regarding our world domination.We were at Soundlevel kickin’ out the jams the other nite when Delux droppes a bomb on Me.
“Mish,have you heard of a band called Kings X?”
“Yeah man! The Album “Dogman” Rules..[ Cue Me giving the whole band history till everyone looks bored…15 min later I come up for air…..].Why?” I pant.
“How would you feel about playing some shows with them?”

Ok.So running out of the room screaming was not the most Jedi move that I could have pulled but WAHHHH! ‘How would I feel????” Um,I know,lets file that under “Totally fucking honnored!” shall we?

Another thing that made me rub my hands with evil glee was remembering the sell out bank clerk/wanna-be drummer that I used to live with who got me into them back in the day…..
Have a nice day you tubby shit!

This has gotta be the Revenge whitetrash.

I am not the one that you want on the other side of the wire I will tell ya that! I have got a memory like a fucking elephant.And I will wait………

Zach La Rocha once barked that “Anger is a gift”. He is 110% proof on that one as far as I go.Fuck dumbing down and letting people fuck with you.That shit is more insidious than cancer.It will drive you mad.Call the shot.

I cannot wait to get to Canada and record this new album.GUITAR SOLOS!!!!!!!! Ash has nailed it!!! I break into a big spazzy smile as soon as I hear it.The one that I hope makes it in.It sounds like the soundtrack to Valhalla.I keep comming up with stupid names,this one is fondly refered to as “Tyler Durden”.There are some other huge things that I will let ya’ll in on as soon as they are confirmed.Lets just say that I am smiling [….scary.]

Oh yeah…Before I forget.
If you wanna talk shit about Me at LEAST make your feeble lies a tad more interesting…You are boring me and rest assured if I ever bore you it will be with a 12″ hunting knife….Nah…I will let you live out your totally crapulent lives knowing that you are fully aware of how much you suck.

But keep it comming.It makes me go harder.

Big thanx to MFR and the Blunt crew for the write up this month.

I am gonna go and stress out over this clip we are shooting in 48 hours.I want a body double for my LIFE. Kidding.

See ya’ll on the weekend.
SF4L
Michele

I think that I am having a Nicky Santouro night.

What! You dont know who Nicky is.Oh man you gotta be kidding me.

The faster a target moves the harder it is to hit.

I am planning on being the fastest fucking target in the world.

Nicky.Well,you go after Nicky with a bat?He would come at you with a knife. You come at him with a knife he would come back at you with a gun.You would want to make sure that you killed him cause he would just keep comming back.Till one of you was dead……

Look
Rent “Casino” ,keep an eye on Joe Peschi and I will write you later.
tell you more.
I will always endeavour to tell you more.
SF4L
Michele.

‘Tis some visitor,’

I muttered ‘Tapping at my chamber door-only this and nothing more’.
-Edgar Allan Poe.

Well bugger off!
-Me.

There was a shady time in history when ,clad in a cowboy hat and other flimsy assorted finery,I would heave myself up apon a coffee table or milkcrate in smoky living rooms of little or no distiction and recite “The Raven” by Mr Poe at full volume to the pack of stoned losers amassed on a shitty dung colored sofa. Until someone threw the bong at me or I fell over.
The End..
Why I am planting such an unsettling visual in your mind I have no idea.I got woken by an incessant tapping so that may be it…….

Life is all about the soundtrack.Moods bay-bee! This is why I have got my knickers in a twist. Well,If I wore any I would. I digress…

Ok ,Picture this.We are about to play CBGBS.What do I need to listen to.?
Television
Blondie
The Ramones
Patti Smith
Iggy Pop
The New york Dolls
Right?
Right!

Lets jump to the West coast shall we?
Gonna play the Whisky on the Strip…[WAH!]
Which calls for….[besides leather pants and balls the size of Montana…]
The Doors
Motley Crue
Capt Beefheart
The Flying Burrito Bros
Love
Guns and Roses
Wasp
Frank Zappa.

So on and so forth.
You could not deny me these things.It would be fucking criminal!!!! A Musical felony!!!! Problem being, for every bloody city and venue in the world I have about 10 fucking cds that are mega relevent which leads us to my condrum…….and…while Im at it…..

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BLOODY DETROIT!

Its A-lot of fucking Cd’s.I want a Sherpa guide to lug my music collection on tour.And it would be nice to have some one to do yoga with.

Oh fuck! Now I want a Lama as well….. What was my point?
erm….

I am awake for I am stresed.
Not over my usual petty crap…this is fuckin’ important!
Or bummed.Dont you hate it when a product lies to you?.I braved the mall [ “The mall!!!!!” ] yesterday to go and buy a Cd case.
A saucy vixen of a bloody lying Cd case!!! I was felling pretty stauch in the seeming secure fact that I would be able to last a 4 month Tour of duty with 96 Cds.Right? Scam platters off fellow band mates.Buy more? Fucking wrong! Thats what!.I have jammed every thing that H.Rollins has ever breathed on and all Of my beloved Sabbath ect ect and I cant even zip the fucking thing up.B* caught me trying to fit more than one CD in every pocket…
For shame.
I hung my head under her feline green orbed “Tsk-ing” Gaze.
Like I am gonna leave the country with out everything that AC/DC ever did. I mean???[ Bon era natch.] Have a heart!
Oh God! And The Saints!
I am doomed!

There was a dude selling “Bling” at the mall-o-hell and due to my finely honed Irony-o-meter I was gonna buy a big necklace but then I thought of all the people who wear studded belts who have never heard of The Exploited and The desire that I have to smack their heads in.I may get the diamond studded guitar for Ash though.He is above my moral pettyness.Too weird and far to cool.He emailed me with the stellar news that I get our new pre-pro CD this week.I am moist!
[Note; Tooo much detail!]

I wanna meet Steve Jones.Sorry! Listening to the Sex Pistols.I just wanna say thank you for such a monster sound……

Giving Miss Shelia The rest of my photos before we jet.So keep your eyes on the site and Delux wants you guys to contribute to the new site so if you got any art that you want to see splashed around send to him and he will get it up there. Cool. Also The mega talented Miss Kim Francis From Smackcentral will have a gallery up soon.She does all the great black and white stuff,trust me you,you will dig it.

The gallery on www.sikfuks.com blows my mind! Go see it.You can rate the pix now [I Shudder!] Kidding!

So as always ,It will be 4 dirty t-shirts,Army issue boots a few stupid hats and a million cds.[“Hellllloooo Seattle!!!!!!] Practical.

I just want to say that there is nowhere NEAR 96 cds in that thing.Does anyone wanna donate an I-pod to a worthy cause?.And where the hell is My copy of “Funhouse”????? Gotta be lovin’ the B*.She is out in 2 weeks [ All I am gonna say is that LA should brace is fautlined ass!!!! Snoop Dog? Beware man! She is comming for your skinny-blunt-rolling- butt.Fo’ Shizzle….] and as a major act of indulging my idiot self she sat through “Apocolypse Now” ‘Cause she knows that it is one of the visual corner stones to my existance.Now THAT is cool.
I checked,She did not pass out once.
Toddski calls me “Kurtz” That is why Toddski still gets Xmas cards.What a star. His woman hates me but he still breaks his balls to be my mate.And as we all know that is not an easy feat when a broard puts the screws on.I am lucky.It also looks like I will hafta find somewhere else to stay in NY if she reads that.Well,Truth hurts.
Heh.

WAH! Got to talk to Blackie in London this morning.So cool.His voice is holding out and they are getting ready to head to a monster festival in a few days to play with Discharge [sigh…..] Who have a new singer[???] He sounds well and that is all that I give a shit about,Well that and the fact that he always gets me the most killer bootleg t shirts off some dodgy Jamacian guy in Camden markets when ever he is over there! Score!

The boys wont let Me take my guitar on tour.I am ,yes,Hurt.
So we finished off a monster night quoting our way through “Casino”.So cool.
How the hell do you sneak a guitar onto a cramped bus???
Oh Fuck!
And Led Zeppelin.What do you mean which one???!#!#!%..Well! Bloody All of them.
Shit.
shit shit!

I am awake during daylight.I dont think this is good….weird dreams again. I was impressed with Miss Shelias dream,for in it I had a tank! Sweet.

Dont bother calling our house at the moment as writing “Sweet ” just reminded me that Nanda and B* Are on a “Dude,wheres my car?” Trip and will just say “And Thennnnnnn?’ in an asian accent Until you hang up on them. It seems to be the evergreen joke at Chez Rock right now.

Nada just came in bearing chocolate and scared the shit out of me as I was listening to Foreigner on My discman while typing.
Tool.No sleep+computer+me= Shite.
Feeling random…
I still have an inbuilt parania that a house will fall on me for wearing striped sox.
I have to stop interjecting the word “Ring-hole” into every conversation.
Not every one is obsessed with detail,though I think they should be.
Why wont some one clean up after I am done with what ever whim took me in the 1st place?.
How much does a Tee-Pee cost?
I once lived with a girl called Fat Sally who told me that I would never succeed in anything to do with music.She usta trace pictures and call herself an artist.Like Karoke is singing right?
Eat my shit.I miss seeing the Beasts of Burbon live.

Fwa,fwa,fwa.

Matt&Matt are gonna be on hand for the new clip.Thank fuck for that!!!!!! So we will leave you with one last one before we go.If I get my way ,which I usually do being the shameless hussy that I am ,the next one will be shot live from Ozzfest.Fuck it! Why not dream big.Why would you cheat yourself outta such things? Dosnt life do that for ya enough?

The kids across the road are beating the shit out of each other again.Cheap solid entertainment.I can dig it.

SF4L.
Michele

How you tore your dress,what a mess…

-Wayne Newton.

Lemme tell ya,
You get a bass player turning up with the best of Wayne Newton on Cd? You know you are in the right fucking band.
I am sitting here in my cowboy hat and clean hair,Shock!
Drug fulled hair dying convo at Chez rock on a thursday nite [“What day is it?”-Me “Well Mike told Me thursday when I asked him the same question…” B* “Ok ,so we roll with that.”- Me]

Delux and The B* coverse….

[“Cool thing” Sonic youth]

-How much have you got?
-I dunno…erm…about a tube?
-Will that be enough?
-I guess.
-But Pink? I mean are you sure?
[Me,Nanda & B*]
-FUCK YEAH!

Jack Daniels,Pot,Peach schnapps,Lucky strikes,Led Zep,Sonic youth videos,chocolate,Drum solos and hair dying.

Just another day at the office.

Just dont make me look like a fucking metrosexual man!
-Delux.

I was just happy cause I woke up in an utter cunt of a mood with my ears killing me and when I fell down the stairs there was Ross! Which was exactly who I wanted to see.I never want to see anyone so that was good enough an omen for me.We are all getting a buzz up for this tour and Delux keeps questioning my pesonal hygene [Flawless if you give a shit…]which gives me the shits and Mikey is bying obscue electical things.

The next clip sound amazing and its for “Dont blame me”.
Sweet.
Drummers rule!
They shag in in time!2!3!4!
We all just paused at the same time to listen to them shagging upstairs.

Eughhhhhhh.!@!#%$@!
-All of us.
See,
Sex Drugs and rock and ROLL!
Oh yeah….and then me.

Not the most mature of environments.Cool.Ross looks really smashing with blond hair.Go on and tell hin so.And for the record I dont give a shit that my sheets look like the Shroud of Turin.Its Art.Call Me Yoko.On second thoughts dont.

More drinks?
-Ross

You dont need alcohol man, and I dont think that I could handle you drunk!
-Nanda on me.

I must be pissed mate! Im sitting round in a t-shirt.I dont care.I got my burbon.I got a computer. -Ross.

As the B* is leaving loungroon debauchary seems to be pretty fitting right now.I fell like I am 14 again.
I always feel like that.

That cunt he’s got no inner peace.
-Ross talking about what he feels like at yoga when his phone rings.

Now they are talking about soft cocks and Pantera is on.Mike is gonna come down and kill us.But he’s pretty good.Sleeps through most of our apoclyptic shit.

Are you writing all this down?
-the unholy 3 from the spew stained rug.
Nahhh.
-Me
She Lies!!!!
-the pissed trinity.

15 years and I never knew this guy existed in this band and hes the guitar player…shit…..
-B*

You drunk fuck!
-Nanda

They are all gonna skin me when they find out that I am quoting them like this.I can cause I am sober and they are funny as all crap to listen to.Man I want a ciggerette!Who knows.In my warped imagination this nite may turn out to mean somthing important.I think that my inner rock star needs a bit of a kick start.I mean,My drummer is upstairs getting laid,delux is cool on the sofa JD in hand,B* rolls the best spliffs in history and Nanda is inhaling a quart of burbom and her body weight in doritos….and I am writing about it.
I am….?
Bo-ring.

‘Smells like teen spirt’ live at Redding “I wish I was there ” sighs Nanda from the floor misty eyed.She just got up and showed me the love.”I am writing about you” I said.
She just smiled.
All the family I got?
I found or they found me.And its all about rock and roll baby.That is all that really matters.

Blackie? Where ever you are tonite bro? I miss you and we are all thinking about you and hope that the tour is going great.

Toddski.Thank you.

I think that I am getting a contact high from the vibe in here right now,Who just read my mind and put on the fucking Ramones man??? Hell yeah!

Have a fuckin’ good one cause I am!
SF4L
Michele

Its mercy, compassion and forgivness that I lack not rationality.

-Beatrix Kiddo.

I want a little bubble to burst in my brain and take me while we are playing.I drempt that is what happened.If you look up “Fucked up dreams” In the dictionary there is a photo of me looking bruised and suitably morose.
Note to self; Stop re-reading old journals that have lists in them….oh man?!……

Delux tells Me that we are to do another filmclip before we bail.I hope that Matt&Matt are on hand. I need their magic. Getting Me ready to go before the camera is somewhat akin to polishing a turd.

I wonder what song it is for now that there is a live clip for “Damage” I am guessing at “Small Enemy” I would dig doing “Faust”. I know that we are jamming this weekend and I am hanging for it.I need it.We all end up in a tiny room and I get so fucked up on pure intent that I wont let anyone leave.I am the last kid at the party.The ritlin kid that your parents made you invite ’cause the rest of the class was comming and you couldnt leave one kid out……remember? You didnt want to sit next to me on the bus and you were mad pissed at your parents for doing this to you on your birthday…after all,you only turn 6 once…..My Poor band.

I hope that I get them there.

The endorphins rush me as my brain cracks. We all pay and pay baby,we pay in kind, we pay with lifetimes and it is not as if I ever thought that it would change.
My credit is shot and I feel hunted and the sadistic part about it ? The De Sade part?Well that is that I am not running.
Bankrupt.
How can you take somthing that is not there?.

Kurtz is dead.My inner fanboy is crying like a bitch and I am gonna watch my holy Apoclypse Now until I cant see.Or the heads blow out on the VCR.Or B* hits me…..

Maybe my new job can be the caretaking of his island? I would be good at that.

So,
Delux is redoing the site which means that you are gonna cop a flood of my “I cant sleep….” bullshit and all that it intales….

B* Just jammed “Edward scissorhands ” in the VCR.I am tired and the sun is comming up.

Everyone is weirding me the fuck out on a day to day level and I keep thinking that I write all this because it is the last hook that keeps me tethered here.

Kid myself that the world is reading and admit to it. Know that I am a self marginlized asshole and admit to that as well.Proving? Sweet fuck all really.

Am I down?
Nah.I am forever lingering by the docks of shit creek sans paddle in one way or another.Just like you really.
That fragile state.That seemingly effortless sphere.
Wank.Wank.Wank.
Then she sang a song.
then she wrote a thing.
then she died.
the end.

Fog rolling in. Cant see for shit.My heart going so fast. Waiting to be struck.
Knowing that I will strike back.

Ducking and weaving like Ali.
A cure for all that ails you.

See you at the next show.
Fearless.
For you ,for me, because of us and to spite the fucking world.

SF4L
Michele.

I dont want to sail on this ship of fools.

-World party.Somthing takes a hold of me….
-Korn.

I imagine everyone survives.
-Aerosmith

Home alone.Cool.Well,Kinda.The B* has passed out so I am singing along with AC/DC inbetween sewing crap on my shorts so they will last another year [I hate shopping with a passion that is all consuming] and playing my fave guitar [Thanx Wonjo!] in front of the idiot box.Oh yeah,and writing this. I am obsessed with Lenoard Cohen’s song “Everybody knows” at the moment.It is the song de jour, and I am driving B* Round the bend with it. [“Al-RIGHT !!!So everybody fucking knows!!! I get it!!!!] It is that Dm that makes me come all undone. I am an utterly shitful guitarist so when I learn somthing I tend to play it all the time ’cause I think I am so bloody clever!

And mock as some do…[heh! I will not name you here! snigger!]…It is still how I write most of our stuff. My music goes the way of the dodo but I dont mind cause the lads write better tunes than me.But thats where it starts,Dirty living room floor and a headache.

Thats how it feels to me anyway. Writing about that person who does not know I exist again at the moment.Big hurtful goodbyes and tears that just dont wanna shift from behind blind dry eyes.

Words that scorch as they leave my mouth.Words that never get easier or less caustic with time.Lye words.Acid words.Poison words.
Fire.
Sounds that need sedation.Noises that dont get invited inside.Riffs that pull you from a sound sleep sweating.

Lord!
I am fucked on levels that I cant even begin to get my addled head around at the moment.At least I am holding my ground and fully aware of what ails me.I will spend a lifetime trying to kill My very own heart.What there is of it.
Or its gonna kill me.

“Love Kills”
-Alex Cox

3 more shows and then we are out.Looking foward to playing out Manly again.Been a while.

I am all fried out tonight.So much going on.Got some A-1 mail that I will tell you about today.Made me feel like Kiss in their heyday! I know that it is not your fault but some of you Sikfuks really should put your parents on a leash!.I knew that it was bad out there but….dont worry about it. Just makes Me belive in ya’ll more than I ever did.

Its early and far too quiet.The whole world seems too still for my liking.Mike is out,Blackie on tour,Nanda AWOL and the B*,as you know is passed out upstairs.I am being strangly selfish with her time at the moment.This is not the 1st time we have gone our seperate ways but it seems so permanant.

Who woulda thunk that I was gonna get sentimental about Chez Rock? Jesus Ker-ist! Gonna go give myself an upper cut and make some tea…..Almost over my utterly filthy lung infection.As I write I am listening to a band called “Cosby” From the ‘gong.Not bad!
I am always stoked to get demos and the like.When ever we hit Smackcentral [aka;Melbourne] we always end up with a shoe box full of great stuff that keeps us listening all the way up the Hume…..

Mmmm-mmmm.I just want to get out there.I also want more ink and a support slot with Superjoint!
Miss “I-gimme-mine” indeed!

Its not even a full moon and I am acting like an asshole.Its not so bad ,I just cant wait to be a tool somewhere other than this place. Hell, for what its worth I would be an idiot anywhere right now as long as I get a chance to play every night and a few hours sleep every couple of days…….

I am sitting here pretending that I dont have a whole house to strip and pack…Throwing out so much shit!!! Ross is being a salve on my burning brain at the moment.All the boys are being amazing in their own ways. Me? I am the water boy to their team of cool.

I think they are the only people that I have ever let back into my emotionally retarded life.The shit that we put each other through!…To digress….

I dig your letters so!

Ah Princess.This makes you think? It makes Me think too…makes me wish that I was driven by somthing else for no other reason to see it differently for one pure moment…..Only to come back and fuck it up even more….

My laziness knows no bounds tonight.It is freezing so I put on the socks that were under the computer desk…they are ripe and do not belong to me.Tasty huh? I know ,I know…one day I will wake up and be a fully functioning adult.Like Hell!

I have a few people that I still look up to.People who have done some really shit hot things,well.in my eyes anyway.Painted,played,written….and so on. And without question about 99% of them are totally fucking miserable.Not saying that I am Xmas and the New year rolled into one or anything.Peh! No even on a good day….I am going somewhere with this…hold on…..

Ok.
I will get to the point then let the hand break off and roll back……

Even when my life blows dogs?
It is mine.
I chose this.
Dig?

All these super talented people that run circles around my ragged ass all locked down into jobs and lives that they hate.Lets just say that it playing on my mind tonight and it saddens me greatly.

Told ya that I was thinking too much tonight….I am jumping from one subject to the next.

Now the rolling backward bit….
[I am gonna get hung for this.]
NO BACK UP PLANS
NOTHING TO FALL BACK ON.

Todays theory is “If I gave myself an “Out” I would go as hard?”

Neh.

I am not advocating this stupid emotional version of ‘Jackass” for all and sundry but you know that I am a fan of the open ended question and the big olde think.It stemed from a rather abortive conversation I had today.
“What if?”
“What if what dude?”
“Well ,em,you know?”
“Ohhhhhh!” If I “Fail” is that what your getting at?”
“Ye-p” She gulped

For the 1st time I laughed.I mean ,I really laughed.That is what is so fucked up with the mainstream.I dont defend my actions to frightened morons.Well not since I stopped talking to my family.[*shudder*]

Oh Man.Now this is some top shelf shit right here! Speaking of families here we go on the great letter I got from an ,ahem! “Upset parent” Really classic stuff citing me as some kind of spawn cause …..

“I was going the the “Favorates” on our home computer when Your site came up.When I asked My teenaged ( ) about this,( ) got defensive and angry so I decided to read into it for myself [Good one Mom! You are finally taking an interest in what Jr is into!!! You asshole!!!] You are a negitive person and you spread nothing but ill will with your music and forum……”

Man,it goes on and on.

Well here is my side of it, you dumb shit. You are a weekender. A holiday uncle.A part time parent.You mean about as much as Santa clause to an Orthodox jew at this point.What? You had a kid cause you thought that it was the done thing? That it was a fashion statement? Its a life time commitment you moron. FUCK YOU!!!

I have never even MET half of your sons and daughters and I give more of a shit about happens to them on a daily level than you .I know what they are up to and how they are feeling…Why? Because you dont listen to a goddamn thing they have to say.There is always somthing more important.I may look and sound like YOUR worst nightmare but it is you who make me SICK to the pit of my being.

I get all this mail.
-Michele,my parents hate me
-Nobody understands Me
-I wanna die.

Etc and so on.And do you know what? It is SO fucking correct. It is so real.And yet you are made to feel like there is somthing wrong with you.Sure,There might be,you along with me and the rest of fucking humanity!

You remember that line in “Parenthood” When Keanu says “You need a licence to have a dog but any asshole can be a parent”…I think that you should not be able to breed unless you are gonna look out for your kid.

I am never not on the end of the line for ya’ll and you know it.Big- tattooed- drop -out -socially- ill equiped -plays- in -a -band me.The bad guy.
So riddle me this Ma and Pa?
If I am the bad guy?
The fuck up?
Why do your kids write and trust me?
C’mon!
What the hell are you doing?!@#! You have these amazing Kids that you have not even taken the time to get to know.

They rule.
You,on the other hand,
Suck.

Now I know that this is not the most mature argument that I could have got myself into and I am sure that I will get burned at the stake…again…yaw-n….which is why I am gonna wear my asbestos Slayer t-shirt and keep going.

You could feel the guilt dripping off this poison missive.One letter does not make up for all the years that you were not there for you child.Sleep easy in your smug all knowing shade.You cannot stop your kids from hearing me.We are all in the shit together.

And guess what? You put them there.You gave them no choice.And we all like it here just fine.

Guys,
You are not your parents.You can do what ever you want.You can feel like shit and damaged as all hell and that is cool.Cause it will pass.It will get worse.It will be what ever it is and whatever that is? On any fucking given day is yours, and you? Well,you are the shit.

So.
I am gonna go and sit on the balcony in my sleeping bag and watch the night.Hook into some good tunes and chill.
Nite.
SF4L
Michele.